100 sentences

May 02, 2009 14:51



Dr. Robert Capa is 27 years old, was born in 2030 and is the leading expert on dark matter studies as of the year 2057. He's always been brilliant at chess. For as long as he can remember, Capa has identified as atheist. In all honesty, he rarely thinks about Harvey at all. In truth, he isn't a loner because he thinks he's better than others, simply because it's been easier for so long. He's been in love before, but never so in love that it broke his heart when they left.

The smile in the Christmas picture is his fake smile. The one person in the world who can never do anything wrong in his eyes is his sister. He never expected to come back from Icarus II. When he thinks about sexual attraction, which isn't often, he doesn't know how to identify himself and it doesn't bother him as much as he thinks it should. He loves cranberry juice. In all his time on Icarus, he suspected Corazon knew something about him that he didn't know himself. The Earth Room wasn't so bad. The happiest he's ever been is in the payload. The reason his hair is so long is because he often simply forgets to cut it. Hey, Capa, we're only stardust. He wonders who named the ship. In all his twenty-seven years, he has never understood what the sun looks like at full strength. Math is easy; people are difficult. The dead zone wasn't at all daunting.

He's never broken a bone. Back home, in his apartment, there's very little that makes it look lived in with the exception of a picture of his sister and her kids. It's a little arrogant, but Capa has difficulty relating to people who can't do simple math. He's been in too many school-yard fights to let Mace get away with the stuff he tries to pull. The oxygen garden was more than just a way to make sure they could all stay alive, as far as he's concerned. No one bullies Capa anymore.

Sometimes he forgets to eat, but only when he's so caught up in solving a problem that it slips his mind. Cassie was nice enough, but the payload was all that mattered. If he never sees snow again, it will still be too soon. He isn't an astronaut, but he resents having it thrown back in his face. Of everyone on board Icarus, Capa liked Searle the best and he suspects the psych officer always knew it. When he has sex, which was rare after university, he's always quiet. All the art he's ever needed is in the beauty of the stellar bomb. Growing up, his best friend was a brilliant girl several years older than he was; they stopped talking when Capa was published at age seventeen. Eight astronauts strapped to the back of a bomb; my bomb.

It isn't for recognition that he's worked so hard all his life, but he won't deny that it's nice. When he was a child, he had a patchwork quilt made by a distant aunt that he hated. He's been punched in the face more times than he can remember. A part of him wonders if food will taste better when the sun returns. He wants to see rain.

It's too late now, but he wishes he could have said goodbye to Searle properly. He's far more aggressive than many people suspect. The sound of metal heating and cooling became so familiar that he stopped noticing when Icarus expanded. No, he's not an angel, and he doesn't believe they exist. It hurts to admit, but he understands what Pinbacker has become in a way. There was never any hope for the crew, but he sacrificed that easily enough.

He regrets that Pinbacker hurt Cassie like he did. When he was five, he was already doing math with his bath crayons that astounded his parents. He's deeply attracted to women with blue eyes. A white expanse of snow in the deep south is unnaturally beautiful, no matter how much he hates the cold. More than anyone on the crew, he respects the sacrifice that Mace made.

When he sleeps, he prefers not to wear anything. He's never used a calculator. Capa is not a very tidy person. He graduated from high school at fifteen, having skipped grades five and seven. Without coffee, he feels a little dull. There was one woman he could see himself with because she was as distant as he is. He'd rather be intelligent than have any number of talents others wish they had. When he was small, he used to add his building blocks, setting them up in small towers to build equations. One Halloween, his sister put makeup on him and a high school boy actually mistook Capa for a girl. He rarely makes his bed. By the time he was twenty-one, he had completed his Ph.D.

There have been men, but Capa never thinks about them when he thinks about his future. It was unspoken, but he knew Kaneda felt protective toward him. There are callouses on his right hand from spending so much of his time writing. He sleeps better when he's done good work. There is a way to get off this island, he's sure of it. He doesn't try very hard to be liked and has no problem when people find him indifferent. He was never afraid. It takes a great deal of intelligence to make an impression on him, but only a little bit of kindness.

It's cold, but he absolutely meant it when he told Mace to kill Trey. It was a strange sort of comfort to have Cassie come to him in the night. There's nothing quite so daunting as a social situation that may affect his work. He loves the taste of watermelon -- natural and artificial. He doesn't like to hear 'I told you so', but he'll suffer it quietly if the other person is right. Yeah, he's a little bit of a snob. There's no way he'll say it to anyone, but he misses his sister and realizes it's selfish to want her here all at the same time.

As often as he says there's a way to get off the island (and that he'll find it) there is a part of him that doesn't want to leave. He used to have an American half-dollar coin on a keychain that he would circle with his thumb whenever he was nervous. Little children are beyond him. The lives of eight were nothing in comparison to the lives of billions. When he was on Icarus II and no longer needed his keychain, he'd play nervously with his intercom until Searle told him to stop. He misses Mace. Robert Daniel Capa, named after his father and his grandfather. Even as a child, he never had much interest in participating in holidays. He doesn't read fiction for pleasure. When he realized there was no computer program capable of doing the equations that he required, he designed one.

He used to drink in college before realizing it only made him feel stupid and he gave it up; what happened on Icarus is not nearly enough to make him want to start again. Most of what Capa does in day to day life is done mechanically, because his mind is often elsewhere. There are four people in his life he has considered friends.

It's hard to re-adjust to living when one has been completely prepared for death. He grew up throwing snowballs in July; the entire concept of winter lost its novelty a long time ago. It's an amazing feeling to be so well paid to do something you love. With the exception of the bullying, it's a little embarrassing how easy life has been for Capa. He's completely unaware of how he looks most of the time. There's only so much comfort one can take in a bomb, but he managed. Women are too complicated most of the time. He's never smoked a cigarette. He was once beaten up so badly that his ribs were bruised and he was never beaten up again after that.

So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it.

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