#52 -- Woken from the Nightmare

[inthecenterfold]

[His handwriting's pretty messy since it still hurts to write.]

Here's a tip for all you new kids - don't ever leave your journal behind. Ever ever. Or you may get lost in the Wilderness alone for 3 weeks (or more!) with no way to ask for help and no way out

Comments

[weaver_girl]

Where in the Sphere have you been?

I'm so glad to see you. Your writing. Where are you now? [Because she is coming over.]

[inthecenterfold]

Well it was some kind of crystal city first, then a tower, and then some kind of temple terror. So, the Wilderness basically.

I'm really glad to see you guys too, even on paper like this. [Alone for three weeks ;; ] I'm at my place, enjoying having a bed again.

[weaver_girl]

[Ink drip.] That was more a rhetorical question, Smoke, but really never mind.

I'm coming over. Right now. Do you need anything?

[inthecenterfold]

Sorry - paper & all.

Nah, seeing you sounds great, don't worry about bringing me anything.

quicklog?

[weaver_girl]

Well, if you're hurt, I thought you might have needed something. I can try if my healing works on it, though.

I'll be there in two shakes!

Quicklog!

[inthecenterfold]

Don't think you gotta go that far, but thanks, see you soon.

---

[The door's unlocked for if she wants to come right in. He's sitting at the front table, drinking some instant coffee. Suzy'd been outside the whole time same as Smoke, so he's been plenty content to just sleep in Aniki's old room. This is only Smoke's 2nd day back in Edensphere after having been rescued.

He won't look any worse for the wear at a first glance, since Cephiro & Cloud took care of the immediate problem.]

Quicklog!

[weaver_girl]

[For the sake of courtesy, Kagerou knocks, but she slips right inside afterwards, practically beaming with joy. She knows better than to let every disappearance or lengthy absence tie her into knots anymore. She's still lain awake worrying for Smoke more than one night.]

There you are! Come on, get up. [And as soon as he is on his feet--you can't tackle-hug a person sitting down--she's upon him and her arms are wrapped tightly around him, though she is mindful to avoid his shoulders after what she observed of his conversation with Stellaris.]

You're feeling all right? You've been to Medical, right?

Quicklog!

[inthecenterfold]

[He grins as he gets up, and grins still as she hugs him. He lets her stay like that a bit even as he answers.]

Tons better after Cephiro and Cloud found me. [When he steps back, he gestures to his left shoulder-blade.] Just a little stiff yet, and it's my dominant side, so what're you gonna do?

Quicklog!

[weaver_girl]

[She extracts herself at length, and finds a chair to sit down in. The smile on her face does not diminish.]

So a bit more before the Bar is back to the full complement of people, hm? I had to hire a couple of new people, but I think by now there's enough that we'll manage even if someone goes missing. It's happened a lot lately.

Quicklog!

[inthecenterfold]

Well hey if you hired on, then I gotta say hi at least! That doesn't take hands - and I'm way better at pouring drinks with my right hand than writing with it.

Quicklog! (hired people are NPCs, we can name them later)

[weaver_girl]

I'm sure they'd be glad to meet you! Just don't stress yourself if you come by. [Her face grows a little more serious.]

What happened to you in the Wilderness? Do you... want to talk about it? I'll certainly understand if you don't, I mean.

Quicklog! (Works for me)

[inthecenterfold]

[He just nods at first, but then she asks about the Wilderness and his expression shifts to guarded.]

Ah... Remember that chat about parents we had awhile back?

[Pause.]

My mom was there. Or someone who sounded a hell of a lot like her.

[There's obviously more and he's seriously debating if he wants to say anything; he leans on the back of his chair, then looks back up at her.]

She had a lot to say to me. And then tried to kill me.

Quicklog!

[weaver_girl]

Oh. Oh.

[She remembers their previous conversation about parents; it left her with the impression that his childhood has not been an untroubled one. That invokes a sense of strange kinship in her, as if she can sympathise, but what he says next makes her face twist in a mixture of horror and empathy before she can stop herself.]

I... I'm so sorry. I kind of thought you... well, might not have had a very normal family, or anything of the kind, but...

I'm sorry. You just told me something that had to be hard to say, and I'm babbling. I see, then. That kind of bad thing. Mine... wasn't really that horrible, but it doesn't seem that Wilderness let anyone off easy.

Quicklog!

[inthecenterfold]

It's not- I don't know that that's how it went down in my past, but... [He touches scars on his cheek with his left hand] I still hated the idea I'd done anything to piss her off.

Honestly, the other stuff she said was actually worse. All that time I spent as a kid? Guess I kinda dealt with kid stuff already, but the rest of it... [He rubs the nape of his neck now with the same hand.]

She basically said I was wrong - how I've been acting for two years, trying to figure out how you just deal with this place... Pretty much ever since I found out my old name - [He never calls it his 'real' name] - I haven't used it, because hell if I know what that guy was like or who all of his friends were. I still don't even know if that's what Mom looks like! I've only ever heard her voice in my memories.

[He looks like he could say a lot more on the subject, but just closes his mouth and looks down at the table, hands folded up and his forehead resting on it.]

Gojyo's whole life was lost to me at one point, but now I'm starting to forget people

Quicklog!

[weaver_girl]

[Kagerou leans back in her chair and tries to collect herself. The Wilderness seems to be able to burrow into people's hearts and wrench their worst fears into reality. If she listens to her own good sense, it would be stupid to treat anything she heard there as the truth, but her emotions aren't so easily stifled.

Cautiously, she reaches out to lay a light hand on Smoke's shoulder as he slumps.]

I met someone in the Wilderness who frightened me a lot, too. I'm still not sure who he is, but he... said it'd be only a matter of time before I went over to his side. That I was going to turn against my friends.

Whatever is down there right now, it can get inside your head. It makes you see things that make you doubt yourself.

Quicklog!

[inthecenterfold]

[Smoke nods] Yeah... [He rubs his hands over his face once, then down over his neck.] Don't think I'm going back there for awhile.

[He cranes his neck a little to look in Kagerou's general direction, a faint smile on his face.] Much prefer a rowdy night at the bar - especially these days.