"and i have no resolutions."
Title: The New Year
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Havemercy
Pairings: none
Word Count: 2,392
Summary: Four different perspectives to begin a new year. The song used is The New Year by Death Cab For Cutie. (How appropriate.) Winning entry in the 2010 New Year contest at deviantART's ThremedonClub.
01. Rook
So this is the New Year
And I don't feel any different
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance
It was fucking cold out, which I guess wasn’t really a surprise with the time of year, but it still didn’t change the fact that I’d forgotten my coat in the bar and I’d been too far gone on my way out the door to notice how my teeth had started to chatter. Now that I’d had some time to sober up, I was shaking all over, and it was downright stupid for me to still be out here, but I’d come all this way and I wasn’t about to turn back just because I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore.
Up in Miranda, I knew it would be all bright lights and fancy parties, with the noblesse getting all flushed and flustered, the ladies and gents thinking they were being oh so daring, having an extra glass of champagne and unbuttoning a couple more buttons.
Even Charlotte had its colors out, the bars lit up and welcoming, so thick with people you could hardly move without risking getting pulled off your feet.
Unless, of course, you were one of us, in which case most people made sure to stay out of your way, probably from some stupid idea that th’Esar himself might come calling to see who was impeding the war effort by stopping the Dragon Corps from having a drink.
Most of the boys were probably in Charlotte, except Balfour, I was sure, and maybe even Luvander, who liked the high life more than he should, being from Charlotte to start with.
All it really meant was that I was alone down here in Molly, where it was dead silent and cold as the grave, without a soul in sight.
Now that I’d got here, I didn’t have a fucking clue why I’d come. I guess it might’ve been when those two Mollyrat boys had shown up at the door of the bar, the older one begging for any change we could spare, while the smaller one coughed his lungs out and tried to look like he was dying on the spot from lack of coinage.
Of course, when the older one’d tried touching me for a turnois, I’d told him to fuck off and get back to Molly before I gutted him then and there.
Still, I guess it must’ve stirred some sentimental notion in me or whatever romantic horseshit you wanted to bring into it, because before I knew it, I was out that door and following the road down further and further. Now there wasn’t a road at all, just winding dirt alleys with no sign to mark one from another, every single one the same, and every single one just as rutted and ill-used.
I stopped in the darkness, and bit down to make my teeth stop clacking together while I looked and listened. There wasn’t anything to see, and there wasn’t anything to hear either, except for all the fireworks and shouting from the sisters up above, even though the New Year itself wouldn’t be along for a couple hours yet.
People didn’t celebrate much in Molly. I guess they didn’t see the need to be thankful for what life had given them, since life hadn’t given them nothing good yet.
My teeth made a rattling noise as I breathed out into Molly’s shadows and I clenched my jaw tight again to stop it, the sound it made too much like the broken stutter of some snot-nosed kid’s crying.
There was nothing down here. Nothing at all.
02. Royston
So this is the New Year
And I have no resolutions
Of self-assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
With still an hour to go until midnight, the Esar’s ball was just beginning to become more than just polite introductions and stultifying attempts at conversation. I hadn’t wanted to come out in the first place, but it had seemed impolite to refuse a personal invitation from the Esar himself. Besides, the golden lights and swirling music, not to mention the copious amounts of free alcohol, had seemed as good a method as any to distract myself from recent events in my own personal affairs.
There was a rustle of silk to my left and suddenly Berhane appeared in front of me, looking all together too pleased with herself.
“Royston, so wonderful to see you,” she proclaimed, offering me her hand.
“The same to you, Berhane,” I replied warily, touching her fingers to my lips only briefly.
“You’ll never guess what I heard from darling Marcelline just a minute ago,” she said, opening her fan with a graceful flick of her wrist and trying her best to hide the fact that she was clearly bubbling over with excitement.
I had a sinking suspicion as to what Marcelline might have been spreading whispers about, and let the silence between Berhane and I linger for a few seconds before finally surrendering.
“No doubt it had something to do with myself and another certain Margrave of much renown, if one were to judge from the way you’re smiling, Berhane,” I said.
“Oh Royston, must you ruin all my fun?” Berhane said, her smile suddenly turning into a very unattractive pout.
“Certainly not, Berhane. Just all of it that concerns me.” I took another sip of champagne, despite not desiring it in the least.
“You’re as bad as Marius sometimes, you know that?” she said, snapping her fan shut again with a sigh.
I simply shrugged, having little else to say in response.
“If I’m not wrong, though, Royston, isn’t this your fourth little… mishap of the year? Or is it the fifth? I daresay, I think I may have lost count somewhere along the way…”
She trailed off into silence, giving me a very pointed glance. For a moment, I wished I had gone with my original desire to stay home in the Crescents, where I would have at least been free from Berhane’s constant love of picking at others’ personal troubles. Of course, I would also likely have found myself wallowing in the deep extremes of self pity before the end of the evening, alone and utterly pathetic.
“The third, Berhane. It isn’t that hard to count to,” I said eventually.
“Oh really? I thought it was higher. Still, I guess that’s where gossip gets you, isn’t it? In any case, if I were you, I might think of holding back a bit in the coming year. Before something truly goes wrong, I mean.”
“I’ll keep it in mind, Berhane,” I said, finishing off the last of my champagne and leaving the glass on a nearby table. “And now, if you are quite done giving me advice in matters of the heart, would you be so kind as to find someone else to harass? Your favorite professor, perhaps.”
“Oh Royston, I meant it all in good fun,” Berhane said, giving me an admittedly rather winning and apologetic smile. “Do accompany me to the dance floor, won’t you? Marius always trips over my skirts and it’s impossible to keep in time with a man who’s falling over nine times out of ten. And I promise not to harass you for the rest of the evening if you do.”
I sighed, but reluctantly stretched out my arm for her to take. Just as we began to descend the stairs, however, there was a sudden fanfare and all sound and movement on the dance floor ceased. I looked across the room to see the Esar and the Esarina entering arm in arm, accompanied by a small group of men I did not recognize.
“Who’s the entourage?” I whispered in Berhane’s ear as we stood frozen in place.
“Oh, but it must be the delegation from Arlemagne, Royston!” she whispered back excitedly. “I hear the crown prince is with them!”
I looked across the dance floor, but from this distance it was hard to make out much. In fact, I would have been hard pressed to truly say which of the men the crown prince could have been.
“Maybe he could mend your broken heart, Royston,” Berhane said, grinning at me and raising a ridiculously suggestive eyebrow.
Despite my own expectations, I felt myself starting to smile back. “I thought you’d just told me more circumspect, Berhane. Honestly, my dear, I find myself utterly baffled in the face of your contradictory advice.”
She smiled and smacked me on the shoulder with her fan. “Royston, did you know that sometimes you can be absolutely intolerable? Now, come along, the next dance is just about to begin.”
As the violins once more began to pick out a graceful waltz, I followed Berhane’s gentle pull down the stairs, forgetting the Esar’s esteemed guests almost immediately.
03. Thom
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
“Oi, Thom!”
I winced as I felt a hand clap me heavily on the shoulder, just as the glass held by its owner slopped beer all across my jacket. A face appeared in my view, flushed and slightly unfocused, but one I felt sure I recognized from somewhere.
“What are you doing over here by yourself?” he shouted into my ear over the noise of the bar’s other inhabitants.
Sighing, I tried to brush off my jacket, even though the beer had already soaked through to the shirt underneath, forming a cold wetness against my skin.
“Nothing,” I said. It was, in fact, an accurate description, for I had nothing to read with me and there were few other activities one could do by oneself in the corner of a crowded bar on New Year’s Eve.
“Well then, come on, get up!” the man shouted, dragging me up and out of my seat without warning.
“No, I really-you needn’t-” I tried to protest as he dragged me toward the barman.
“Oh, don’t be such a cindy, Thom. Have a drink for once! It’s only a couple minutes to midnight, and it’d be a dead shame if the New Year came and found you without a drink in your hand.”
I didn’t know how to begin to explain myself to this man whom I obviously must have known from somewhere, but couldn’t for the life of me put a name to. I generally tried to stay away from drinking if possible, primarily out of a desire to avoid the memories it brought back of the men who would most often frequent our whorehouse back in Molly. However, I had never before mentioned this reasoning to anyone, and I wasn’t about to start now.
“I honestly don’t-”
“Thom!”
“Please, I’m fine-”
I was stopped mid-protest as the man abruptly turned to face me, peering at me rather too close for comfort. “What in bastion’s name is the matter with you?” he said with a sudden vehemence that shocked me. “What’s the matter with one drink? Would it kill you to actually act like one of us for once?”
I said nothing, just stared back wordlessly as his eyes continued to pin me to the spot. His hand was still on my arm, but now clenched so tight that it was painful.
“Oi, Ferris!” I heard a voice cry out from behind me.
After a moment, the man tore his gaze from mine and looked past me. “What?” he shouted.
“Countdown’s about to start! Get your ass over here already, and leave the professor alone!”
The man gave me one last bitter glance, and then I felt his hand release its hold as he brushed past me towards his companions.
I stood where I was, unable to move, even as around me I heard the gradual merging of voices to form the same eager words.
“Twelve! Eleven! Ten!”
I looked upwards and found the clock on the wall, watched as its second hand ticked ever closer, almost in time with the deafening shouts that surrounded me.
“Four! Three! Two!”
I blinked.
“One!”
04. Hal
I wish the world was flat like the old days
And I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
I breathed out into the thick silence that had crept into my room. Inside it was dark, but the snow outside my window was glistening in the moonlight as it stretched towards the edge of the woods, its cold whiteness broken only by the dark cut of the river.
My candle had finally flickered out just moments before and I was now left sitting in darkness with a roman still open on my lap. I could feel the last five pages, soft and rustling between my fingers, but I had no other candles and my window was too small to let in much moonlight.
I closed my eyes, listening to the creaks and sighs of the house around me. My room was not cold, but it wasn’t warm either, and my cheeks felt slightly numb after not having moved for the past few hours, ever since our last dinner of the year had been concluded and the children had been sent off to bed, while I had been left to my own devices.
There was another gentle creak of the house around me, and I smiled. Before it ended, I tried to match the sound with a similar hum of my own. As sad as these noises made by old wood and rusting metal might sound, they seemed much less lonely when I could give them some answer in response.
Not that I would ever do something so decidedly odd during the day, not even around the children.
Eventually, certain that my eyes would not suddenly become able to read in darkness, I shut my roman with a soft thump, the rippled and water-stained pages meeting each other in perfect alignment.
Brushing the hair from my eyes, I turned again to the window, just as the house gave another sigh of nighttime conversation.
I placed my hand against the cold glass of the windowpane and sighed back into the stillness that stretched before me.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Havemercy
Pairings: none
Word Count: 2,392
Summary: Four different perspectives to begin a new year. The song used is The New Year by Death Cab For Cutie. (How appropriate.) Winning entry in the 2010 New Year contest at deviantART's ThremedonClub.
01. Rook
So this is the New Year
And I don't feel any different
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance
It was fucking cold out, which I guess wasn’t really a surprise with the time of year, but it still didn’t change the fact that I’d forgotten my coat in the bar and I’d been too far gone on my way out the door to notice how my teeth had started to chatter. Now that I’d had some time to sober up, I was shaking all over, and it was downright stupid for me to still be out here, but I’d come all this way and I wasn’t about to turn back just because I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore.
Up in Miranda, I knew it would be all bright lights and fancy parties, with the noblesse getting all flushed and flustered, the ladies and gents thinking they were being oh so daring, having an extra glass of champagne and unbuttoning a couple more buttons.
Even Charlotte had its colors out, the bars lit up and welcoming, so thick with people you could hardly move without risking getting pulled off your feet.
Unless, of course, you were one of us, in which case most people made sure to stay out of your way, probably from some stupid idea that th’Esar himself might come calling to see who was impeding the war effort by stopping the Dragon Corps from having a drink.
Most of the boys were probably in Charlotte, except Balfour, I was sure, and maybe even Luvander, who liked the high life more than he should, being from Charlotte to start with.
All it really meant was that I was alone down here in Molly, where it was dead silent and cold as the grave, without a soul in sight.
Now that I’d got here, I didn’t have a fucking clue why I’d come. I guess it might’ve been when those two Mollyrat boys had shown up at the door of the bar, the older one begging for any change we could spare, while the smaller one coughed his lungs out and tried to look like he was dying on the spot from lack of coinage.
Of course, when the older one’d tried touching me for a turnois, I’d told him to fuck off and get back to Molly before I gutted him then and there.
Still, I guess it must’ve stirred some sentimental notion in me or whatever romantic horseshit you wanted to bring into it, because before I knew it, I was out that door and following the road down further and further. Now there wasn’t a road at all, just winding dirt alleys with no sign to mark one from another, every single one the same, and every single one just as rutted and ill-used.
I stopped in the darkness, and bit down to make my teeth stop clacking together while I looked and listened. There wasn’t anything to see, and there wasn’t anything to hear either, except for all the fireworks and shouting from the sisters up above, even though the New Year itself wouldn’t be along for a couple hours yet.
People didn’t celebrate much in Molly. I guess they didn’t see the need to be thankful for what life had given them, since life hadn’t given them nothing good yet.
My teeth made a rattling noise as I breathed out into Molly’s shadows and I clenched my jaw tight again to stop it, the sound it made too much like the broken stutter of some snot-nosed kid’s crying.
There was nothing down here. Nothing at all.
02. Royston
So this is the New Year
And I have no resolutions
Of self-assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
With still an hour to go until midnight, the Esar’s ball was just beginning to become more than just polite introductions and stultifying attempts at conversation. I hadn’t wanted to come out in the first place, but it had seemed impolite to refuse a personal invitation from the Esar himself. Besides, the golden lights and swirling music, not to mention the copious amounts of free alcohol, had seemed as good a method as any to distract myself from recent events in my own personal affairs.
There was a rustle of silk to my left and suddenly Berhane appeared in front of me, looking all together too pleased with herself.
“Royston, so wonderful to see you,” she proclaimed, offering me her hand.
“The same to you, Berhane,” I replied warily, touching her fingers to my lips only briefly.
“You’ll never guess what I heard from darling Marcelline just a minute ago,” she said, opening her fan with a graceful flick of her wrist and trying her best to hide the fact that she was clearly bubbling over with excitement.
I had a sinking suspicion as to what Marcelline might have been spreading whispers about, and let the silence between Berhane and I linger for a few seconds before finally surrendering.
“No doubt it had something to do with myself and another certain Margrave of much renown, if one were to judge from the way you’re smiling, Berhane,” I said.
“Oh Royston, must you ruin all my fun?” Berhane said, her smile suddenly turning into a very unattractive pout.
“Certainly not, Berhane. Just all of it that concerns me.” I took another sip of champagne, despite not desiring it in the least.
“You’re as bad as Marius sometimes, you know that?” she said, snapping her fan shut again with a sigh.
I simply shrugged, having little else to say in response.
“If I’m not wrong, though, Royston, isn’t this your fourth little… mishap of the year? Or is it the fifth? I daresay, I think I may have lost count somewhere along the way…”
She trailed off into silence, giving me a very pointed glance. For a moment, I wished I had gone with my original desire to stay home in the Crescents, where I would have at least been free from Berhane’s constant love of picking at others’ personal troubles. Of course, I would also likely have found myself wallowing in the deep extremes of self pity before the end of the evening, alone and utterly pathetic.
“The third, Berhane. It isn’t that hard to count to,” I said eventually.
“Oh really? I thought it was higher. Still, I guess that’s where gossip gets you, isn’t it? In any case, if I were you, I might think of holding back a bit in the coming year. Before something truly goes wrong, I mean.”
“I’ll keep it in mind, Berhane,” I said, finishing off the last of my champagne and leaving the glass on a nearby table. “And now, if you are quite done giving me advice in matters of the heart, would you be so kind as to find someone else to harass? Your favorite professor, perhaps.”
“Oh Royston, I meant it all in good fun,” Berhane said, giving me an admittedly rather winning and apologetic smile. “Do accompany me to the dance floor, won’t you? Marius always trips over my skirts and it’s impossible to keep in time with a man who’s falling over nine times out of ten. And I promise not to harass you for the rest of the evening if you do.”
I sighed, but reluctantly stretched out my arm for her to take. Just as we began to descend the stairs, however, there was a sudden fanfare and all sound and movement on the dance floor ceased. I looked across the room to see the Esar and the Esarina entering arm in arm, accompanied by a small group of men I did not recognize.
“Who’s the entourage?” I whispered in Berhane’s ear as we stood frozen in place.
“Oh, but it must be the delegation from Arlemagne, Royston!” she whispered back excitedly. “I hear the crown prince is with them!”
I looked across the dance floor, but from this distance it was hard to make out much. In fact, I would have been hard pressed to truly say which of the men the crown prince could have been.
“Maybe he could mend your broken heart, Royston,” Berhane said, grinning at me and raising a ridiculously suggestive eyebrow.
Despite my own expectations, I felt myself starting to smile back. “I thought you’d just told me more circumspect, Berhane. Honestly, my dear, I find myself utterly baffled in the face of your contradictory advice.”
She smiled and smacked me on the shoulder with her fan. “Royston, did you know that sometimes you can be absolutely intolerable? Now, come along, the next dance is just about to begin.”
As the violins once more began to pick out a graceful waltz, I followed Berhane’s gentle pull down the stairs, forgetting the Esar’s esteemed guests almost immediately.
03. Thom
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
“Oi, Thom!”
I winced as I felt a hand clap me heavily on the shoulder, just as the glass held by its owner slopped beer all across my jacket. A face appeared in my view, flushed and slightly unfocused, but one I felt sure I recognized from somewhere.
“What are you doing over here by yourself?” he shouted into my ear over the noise of the bar’s other inhabitants.
Sighing, I tried to brush off my jacket, even though the beer had already soaked through to the shirt underneath, forming a cold wetness against my skin.
“Nothing,” I said. It was, in fact, an accurate description, for I had nothing to read with me and there were few other activities one could do by oneself in the corner of a crowded bar on New Year’s Eve.
“Well then, come on, get up!” the man shouted, dragging me up and out of my seat without warning.
“No, I really-you needn’t-” I tried to protest as he dragged me toward the barman.
“Oh, don’t be such a cindy, Thom. Have a drink for once! It’s only a couple minutes to midnight, and it’d be a dead shame if the New Year came and found you without a drink in your hand.”
I didn’t know how to begin to explain myself to this man whom I obviously must have known from somewhere, but couldn’t for the life of me put a name to. I generally tried to stay away from drinking if possible, primarily out of a desire to avoid the memories it brought back of the men who would most often frequent our whorehouse back in Molly. However, I had never before mentioned this reasoning to anyone, and I wasn’t about to start now.
“I honestly don’t-”
“Thom!”
“Please, I’m fine-”
I was stopped mid-protest as the man abruptly turned to face me, peering at me rather too close for comfort. “What in bastion’s name is the matter with you?” he said with a sudden vehemence that shocked me. “What’s the matter with one drink? Would it kill you to actually act like one of us for once?”
I said nothing, just stared back wordlessly as his eyes continued to pin me to the spot. His hand was still on my arm, but now clenched so tight that it was painful.
“Oi, Ferris!” I heard a voice cry out from behind me.
After a moment, the man tore his gaze from mine and looked past me. “What?” he shouted.
“Countdown’s about to start! Get your ass over here already, and leave the professor alone!”
The man gave me one last bitter glance, and then I felt his hand release its hold as he brushed past me towards his companions.
I stood where I was, unable to move, even as around me I heard the gradual merging of voices to form the same eager words.
“Twelve! Eleven! Ten!”
I looked upwards and found the clock on the wall, watched as its second hand ticked ever closer, almost in time with the deafening shouts that surrounded me.
“Four! Three! Two!”
I blinked.
“One!”
04. Hal
I wish the world was flat like the old days
And I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
I breathed out into the thick silence that had crept into my room. Inside it was dark, but the snow outside my window was glistening in the moonlight as it stretched towards the edge of the woods, its cold whiteness broken only by the dark cut of the river.
My candle had finally flickered out just moments before and I was now left sitting in darkness with a roman still open on my lap. I could feel the last five pages, soft and rustling between my fingers, but I had no other candles and my window was too small to let in much moonlight.
I closed my eyes, listening to the creaks and sighs of the house around me. My room was not cold, but it wasn’t warm either, and my cheeks felt slightly numb after not having moved for the past few hours, ever since our last dinner of the year had been concluded and the children had been sent off to bed, while I had been left to my own devices.
There was another gentle creak of the house around me, and I smiled. Before it ended, I tried to match the sound with a similar hum of my own. As sad as these noises made by old wood and rusting metal might sound, they seemed much less lonely when I could give them some answer in response.
Not that I would ever do something so decidedly odd during the day, not even around the children.
Eventually, certain that my eyes would not suddenly become able to read in darkness, I shut my roman with a soft thump, the rippled and water-stained pages meeting each other in perfect alignment.
Brushing the hair from my eyes, I turned again to the window, just as the house gave another sigh of nighttime conversation.
I placed my hand against the cold glass of the windowpane and sighed back into the stillness that stretched before me.