(no subject)
These days I'm starting to forget what a best friend is. Up to now I've always judged best friend from friend from the connection or just that gut feeling that we're destined to be there for one another, but now.. I've lost that. Josh loves me, and I love him we've always been an escape for one another to go to, somewhere we can laugh about the reality and forget about our pasts.. and now we're loosing that. How do you tell best friend from friend? I should know by now seeing as there are multiple people I call my best friends its just. God. Here I go again depressing myself into recalling to the past, its gone, its over, I hate hurting.If best friend depends on who you spend most time with or whom you share more memories with day to day, would Michael be it? Because day to day.. hes the only one I really talk to. If thats the case then I'm falling back into old habits, which got me in trouble last time, I'm okay with not doing that again.
Joe and Mike are probably going helloooo right about now, and I love them both as well, but god..when was the last time I was actually close with a girl? Cassie but we're so up and down its hard to tell. Rosies never really around anymore and Jenna is practically out of the picture. I'm just so upset with myself that I don't have a truly steady relationship with anyone I'm 'close' to.
I wish I was naive again. What blissful, ignorant days. Its not even that I'm distressed or sad about this it just puzzles me. Maybe when for a year and a half you have one friend, than that one friend leaves and you're left with a blank board to make up in depth, close relationships with. My bad. Old habits die hard, I just hope I don't do that... again.
So confused. That I am.
Joe and Mike are probably going helloooo right about now, and I love them both as well, but god..when was the last time I was actually close with a girl? Cassie but we're so up and down its hard to tell. Rosies never really around anymore and Jenna is practically out of the picture. I'm just so upset with myself that I don't have a truly steady relationship with anyone I'm 'close' to.
I wish I was naive again. What blissful, ignorant days. Its not even that I'm distressed or sad about this it just puzzles me. Maybe when for a year and a half you have one friend, than that one friend leaves and you're left with a blank board to make up in depth, close relationships with. My bad. Old habits die hard, I just hope I don't do that... again.
So confused. That I am.