Finality
Dad had a couple of days where he seemed to get more animated and able to move a bit, but the past two days he has been less so. Being unable to speak does not hinder his conveying that he is very very unhappy and frustrated. He's not smiling or opening his eyes much anymore. His arms still move around a lot. They finally tethered them to the bed, as he kept batting at the tubes he could reach and knocking them loose.
We spoke with some of the doctors yesterday and today about Dad's condition and the MRI results, and here is the basic story:
In addition to a massive heart attack, my father suffered multiple strokes on both sides of his brain. He has brain damage from the strokes, plus he still has three blocked arteries. He's not in any kind of condition where it would be advisable to perform surgery. One doctor predicted another heart attack within the next few days. There is basically little or no chance he can ever life a normal life again.
After the prolonged, difficult loss of his sister to cancer in 1993 (during which her unscrupulous doctor repeatedly removed the "Do Not Resuscitate" from her chart) my father drew up a very detailed, eight-page living will. Today, in accordance with his wishes, the feeding tube was removed from his nose and nature will be allowed to take its course. Given that he is unable to feed himself, that course could be as long as two weeks, but will likely be sooner, especially if the aforementioned heart attack takes place. I have only mentioned this to a few people thus far, and can't say it without choking and/or welling up.
Dad is being moved from the CCU to a room elsewhere in St. Luke's as soon as a bed opens up, and we're trying to line up a move to the New Jersey hospice where my Mom's sister spent her last days. They were really good to my aunt and the family there, and it's close to my parents' house. This is good, as the daily train rides to Manhattan have been a burden and a bother to my mother.
Halfway through this entry, I saved it as a draft and went for a two-hour walk punctuated with a few phone conversations. Last night I stayed over Geoff's place and took his R75/6 for a three-hour backroads run. Those were both good and necessary things, but I'm kind of in and out of dealing with/comprehending all of this.
We spoke with some of the doctors yesterday and today about Dad's condition and the MRI results, and here is the basic story:
In addition to a massive heart attack, my father suffered multiple strokes on both sides of his brain. He has brain damage from the strokes, plus he still has three blocked arteries. He's not in any kind of condition where it would be advisable to perform surgery. One doctor predicted another heart attack within the next few days. There is basically little or no chance he can ever life a normal life again.
After the prolonged, difficult loss of his sister to cancer in 1993 (during which her unscrupulous doctor repeatedly removed the "Do Not Resuscitate" from her chart) my father drew up a very detailed, eight-page living will. Today, in accordance with his wishes, the feeding tube was removed from his nose and nature will be allowed to take its course. Given that he is unable to feed himself, that course could be as long as two weeks, but will likely be sooner, especially if the aforementioned heart attack takes place. I have only mentioned this to a few people thus far, and can't say it without choking and/or welling up.
Dad is being moved from the CCU to a room elsewhere in St. Luke's as soon as a bed opens up, and we're trying to line up a move to the New Jersey hospice where my Mom's sister spent her last days. They were really good to my aunt and the family there, and it's close to my parents' house. This is good, as the daily train rides to Manhattan have been a burden and a bother to my mother.
Halfway through this entry, I saved it as a draft and went for a two-hour walk punctuated with a few phone conversations. Last night I stayed over Geoff's place and took his R75/6 for a three-hour backroads run. Those were both good and necessary things, but I'm kind of in and out of dealing with/comprehending all of this.