Zoidberg, homeowner!
So, it's time I did a shout out to all my peeps. Oh, wait, no. Peeps are fucking nasty. Especially when they get stale. My sister used to eat those things by the armload. But she'd also make frosting and eat it raw. Goddamn strange family.
But on to business! I haven't updated this damn thing in a long time, so it's time to make a thinly-veiled cry for attention. I mean update the world as to my current status. Not that the world actually gives a damn, but it should! So what if you're starving to death in a war-torn country, I've got things to say! Speaking of things to say, perhaps I should get started with today's agenda.
First! I'm going back to school. I remember now why I quit school, but I'm too retarded to do anything about it other than keep going forward. Still, at least I get to sell my soul to the corporate machine. I wasn't using the damn thing anyway. Baby needs a new plasma-screen TV! In case you hadn't guessed by the "corporate machine" crack, yes, I'm going to business school. Carlson School of Business to be exact. I'm thinking of getting my MBA in IT Management (most likely), Finance (less likely), or Project Management (least likely). Odds are, however, I'll end up with some combination of those. I'd really like to do business strategy, but I'm too much of an engineer for that. Hence the finance. The up shot to all this is, I don't have to pay a dime for tuition. Fees and books are all I pay for. Aaah, the perks of working for a public institution.
Second! I'm buying a condo! So help me Dog, if someone starts singing that shitty song from the 80's, I'll punch through my 21" monitor... Wait... No... Can't do that. Did that already when the server quit responding. Goddam piece of crap technology. But yes, I will soon be joining the ranks of the elite... something... ranks... At least, I think the ranks are elite... Ah well. Nothing is dead certain yet, but it's definately moving in that direction. I have already named my new place: "The Smoking Ruin". Given how much it was on the market for, that's roughly what I expected. If all goes according to plan, I'll be the official owner on April 28th and will probably be moving in shortly after that. Assistance in the moving process would be appreciated and would be compensated with Pizza, Soda, and Beer (depending on your taste). Hookers and blow may also be made available depending on how generous I'm feeling. Oh, and noone will be expected to move the TV. I'll pay professional ex-highschool football players to move it for me.
Third! I shall be vanishing for a weekend in March while I go out to San Fransisco and visit my D-D-D-Dave Shiroma and The Shortest Double-D I know. Much Sushi and bizarreness will be had.
Hmmm... I think that's all I got. I haven't posted in a while, so I demand love! Or something.
But on to business! I haven't updated this damn thing in a long time, so it's time to make a thinly-veiled cry for attention. I mean update the world as to my current status. Not that the world actually gives a damn, but it should! So what if you're starving to death in a war-torn country, I've got things to say! Speaking of things to say, perhaps I should get started with today's agenda.
First! I'm going back to school. I remember now why I quit school, but I'm too retarded to do anything about it other than keep going forward. Still, at least I get to sell my soul to the corporate machine. I wasn't using the damn thing anyway. Baby needs a new plasma-screen TV! In case you hadn't guessed by the "corporate machine" crack, yes, I'm going to business school. Carlson School of Business to be exact. I'm thinking of getting my MBA in IT Management (most likely), Finance (less likely), or Project Management (least likely). Odds are, however, I'll end up with some combination of those. I'd really like to do business strategy, but I'm too much of an engineer for that. Hence the finance. The up shot to all this is, I don't have to pay a dime for tuition. Fees and books are all I pay for. Aaah, the perks of working for a public institution.
Second! I'm buying a condo! So help me Dog, if someone starts singing that shitty song from the 80's, I'll punch through my 21" monitor... Wait... No... Can't do that. Did that already when the server quit responding. Goddam piece of crap technology. But yes, I will soon be joining the ranks of the elite... something... ranks... At least, I think the ranks are elite... Ah well. Nothing is dead certain yet, but it's definately moving in that direction. I have already named my new place: "The Smoking Ruin". Given how much it was on the market for, that's roughly what I expected. If all goes according to plan, I'll be the official owner on April 28th and will probably be moving in shortly after that. Assistance in the moving process would be appreciated and would be compensated with Pizza, Soda, and Beer (depending on your taste). Hookers and blow may also be made available depending on how generous I'm feeling. Oh, and noone will be expected to move the TV. I'll pay professional ex-highschool football players to move it for me.
Third! I shall be vanishing for a weekend in March while I go out to San Fransisco and visit my D-D-D-Dave Shiroma and The Shortest Double-D I know. Much Sushi and bizarreness will be had.
Hmmm... I think that's all I got. I haven't posted in a while, so I demand love! Or something.