My face, my face! My valuable face!
Ugh. Today is an allergy kind of day. The kind of day that makes you all sleepy and crazy and not-minty-fresh. It's the kind of day where I walk upstairs to hunt for office supplies and I am greeted by the cute girls in the office with simles on their faces that quickly dissolve into looks of abject horror. Wait... That's what always happens. No, it's different this time. Instead of the usual 'get away from me you loser' looks it's the 'what the hell kind of drugs were you doing this morning and why aren't you dead' look. Speaking of drugs, I really need some right now. I was all out of the awake-allergy drugs and was very, very tempted to take the sleepy-time allergy drugs. I figured, hey, I don't need to be awake to fix computers. But by the time that this thought was completely formulated, I was in the carpool on the way here and nowhere near my bathroom. Stupid autopilot. It always takes me where I 'Should' go. Never where I want to go. Why don't I have an autopilot that dumps me at a steakhouse or a whorehouse or a whorehouse where you... But wait! This is wholesome family entertainment, not some floozy, anthropomorphic strip club where minnie mouse is wearing nothing but a smile. But I digress.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I think the U has cornered the marked on derelict bicicles. Coming into work, I see these rusted out hulks of crap locked to every imaginable immoble object. Parking meters, street lamps, street lamps fused to parking meters, the morbidly obese, no object is safe from the bike lockers. And what do all the bikes have in common, you ask? None of them have any damn wheels! Since when did bike wheels become such a valuable commodity?! Are people's worth now measured in bicycle wheels? If so, I'm sorely behind. So, now the question comes, which came first, the chicken or some earlier form of the chicken? But only if you replace chicken with bike and earlier form of chicken with bike. But then you get a sentance that makes no sense. Much like have the tripe that I've written so far. Hell, more than half. But anyway, I want to know if these bikes are getting abandonded before or after their wheels are stolen. And how much are bike wheels really worth? And what happens to all the bike wheels that are replaced? Are they stolen too? Well, either way I guess it doesn't matter, there are still a bunch of derelict bikes locked to really fat people out there messing up my landscape.
Conclusion: humans suck. Addendum: I write really fucking long entries...
Where was I? Oh yeah, I think the U has cornered the marked on derelict bicicles. Coming into work, I see these rusted out hulks of crap locked to every imaginable immoble object. Parking meters, street lamps, street lamps fused to parking meters, the morbidly obese, no object is safe from the bike lockers. And what do all the bikes have in common, you ask? None of them have any damn wheels! Since when did bike wheels become such a valuable commodity?! Are people's worth now measured in bicycle wheels? If so, I'm sorely behind. So, now the question comes, which came first, the chicken or some earlier form of the chicken? But only if you replace chicken with bike and earlier form of chicken with bike. But then you get a sentance that makes no sense. Much like have the tripe that I've written so far. Hell, more than half. But anyway, I want to know if these bikes are getting abandonded before or after their wheels are stolen. And how much are bike wheels really worth? And what happens to all the bike wheels that are replaced? Are they stolen too? Well, either way I guess it doesn't matter, there are still a bunch of derelict bikes locked to really fat people out there messing up my landscape.
Conclusion: humans suck. Addendum: I write really fucking long entries...