i think i love you so what am i so afraid of?

[internaltears]

I've never known love like this. It's not that he is in love with me, but that caring innocent love, the kind that asks for nothing in return. I never knew someone oculd care about me the way that he does, i never knew that anyone could cry over me. He protects me from myself and i love him for that. But I am scared that his kind of love only stays here, it never grows into that true love. I never even thought i believed in true love, maybe i don't. But it is just that he can care about me and he can cry over me even and he can spend lots of time worrying about me and protecting me but does he see anything else in me? I want him to call me pretty, even just once. Maybe that would tell me that maybe all this time i spend thinking of him isn't in vain. I really think that he is the one.I know it sounds silly but i seriously think that he is the one that God has set aside for me. It is the only explanation for our amazingly special relationship and while he doesn't deny that that could very well be the case, he isn't seeing me as anything more than his friend right now. And it's hard because i know he cares about me so much and i know i have hurt him and i think that that hurt isn't just a normal hurt, i think it is because deep down he knows i am special to him and the thought of me messing around with someone else kills. I don't know. Maybe i am crazy, maybe i am ridiculous. I don't know but i can't shake this feeling that we are made for each other.

I really hope i am not crazy.