(no subject)
So this is going to be a long entry.
This week has been a pretty long week i must say. With dance and all and being injured. I went to a physical therapist today so she could look at all of my injuries. In my wrist i have a sist. She said that right now it wouldnt do any good to drain it, that i should massage it and try to work some of it out. But since it hurts to touch right now becasue i am using my wrists so much, there is not anyhting i can really do. She pretty much said there wasnt much i oculd do anyways, and that really sucks.Then she looked at my hamstring. She said that I have pulled my deep inner hamstring and that i also have tendinitious in there as well. Not pleasant...she was poking around and made me straightne my leg and was putting pressure in places...and i literally though i was going to like scream....haha i havent been in that much pain in a long time. Then in my foot, i have runners tendonnitious under my arch and then i have also messed up the muscles and the joint in my big toe, becasue it hurts when ever i put pressure on it. So she wraped it for the next to days. When ever i dance i am suposed to wrap it. Like thats really going to happen.lol But i start physical therapy tomorrow at 8:30 am, and then i go off to dance. I guess its not that bad, but nationals is going to be a beast. Its going to be really rough on my body. I barely made it through rehearsal today. Its all on my left side too...kind of comical if you as me. For nationals i had to drop my solo because of my injuries. I guess its not that big of a deal. I am already looking forward to next year and what its going to bring. Next year i have a moder/lyrical solo with Marrianne and then a lyrical trio with Laura and Brittani brandon, Mary is choreographing it. I am sure its going to be good. At least i hope it is. But i am realy excited about it. Its a bog deal for me....i am the only one that got a teacher from the other studio.....after she said she wasnt going to mix the teachers.....i feel privilidged, and i know i should. I have been presented with an amazing oppertunity, and now i need to prove myself. Thats exactly what i am going to do. I am also running for title next year...its going to be hard and a lot of extra classes.
Tomorrow..well actually today, I have physical therapy at 8:30 to like 9:30 and then i have dance till 3:45. After that i am heading down to richmond for a bit to go to Ellman's I need new pointe shoes and new leotards. I am looking forward to this. Some quality time with one of the bests Brittany Diaz. I havent had some good time with her in a while. Life has got so hetic that for a while i was distant, but she waited for me to come back. And now we are closer than ever. After we go to Ellman's we are going back to her house, and then we are goingto get ready to chill with two other friends. Tyler, her new boyfriend, who i have to approve, its a best friend thing, and Hal. I have become really close to Hal this summer along with many other people that i thought that i would never really be close to. We are best friends and i miss him because he was gone for a while at hte beach with Wesly. I wanted to hang with all of the bests before i go away to nationals. So tomorrow we are going to chill...mayeb see a movie or somehting of the sort. Anything we feel like doing.
Saturday I am going over to Britts at 1:00 with Bell Twig, Brenna for a surprise for Kevin. His birthday party is Saturday night and we are all crashing at his house....deff looking forward to that. We always get ourselves into some kind of trouble, either on the roof,pool table,or the hot tub in his bathroom...oh lord the stories we have.
Sunday I am going to see Shelby and probably spend the nigth over at her house. I want to see Andrew too so we will probably hang out with him too. I miss both of the so much. They have become two of my best friends this year. I am going to chill with them Sunday night. I am going to have to make it up to Shelby for not being able to be there are her performance tomorrow at 3:00. I am going to bring her flowers and a card onsunday when i see her....i really wish i could come watch her perform...i feel so bad that i cant...but i guess it happens. I have to call her and tell her that i cant attend :(.
I also need to hang out with Dalene before i leave for the beach...i dont have a lot of time before she leaves...
I have been thinking a lot lately.......its been a little rough between family alone and then my friends that i love. I am glad that i have them. I am having family problems lately and i need to get a job because my parents are really tigth on money and i am worried. I am going to get a job at Jessicas hopefully, and somewhere else as well. I have to think ahead a lot for the next two years. I am worried about some of my friends. Bethany being one of them. Life is soo hard for her right now....i wish i could be with her right now...she is not doing well at all. I talk to her every night. either through phone, or aim. I am going to visit her, she needs me to, i cant wait another three weeks to see her. She is not doing well physically either, she is down to about 93 to 95 pounds because of her stomache problems. I am doing everything i can to help her, and i know that Hal is too. Wes is for the most part as well. I miss her a lot too. I realized the other day that i had finally earned her trust. I have reached one of my goals for the year. It was for Beth to trust me. I aked her if she trusted me and she said yes......she depends on me....its a good relationship for the both of us, because usually when ever i help her...i some how help myslef. I wish i could fix so many things. I want things to go back to normal, i want my bubble to go back...haha. But then again i have become stronger over the summer. I have done soo much thinking, and so much changing. I am trying to figure out what i want in my life, what i want this year. So many things have evolved and have forced me to question myself and what i want, and who i am, who i want to be, and what i have to do to get there. I am scared about this year, i am scared and excited at the same time. I odnt know what else to say about this right now so i will have to come back to it...rigth now i am starting to ramble on.
I am always thinking about everything, i never stop thinking....i think this might be the reason why i can no longer sleep. I have developed a sleeping disorder, even though it has not been diagonosed. I dont want to see a docter about it, but i no longer sleep, no matter how hard i try, and if i do sleep, I sleep no more than 3 hours. Its getting out of hand and i am not exactly sure what to do. I guess i need to so some research on it to figure some things out, i think i am an insominiac though. I need to try and find a remedy before school starts though, other wise life might get a lot tougher than it already is right now.
But for right now i need to do some more thinking...and i need to sleep some more too. I am going to have a long day tomorrow. I am going to go try and attempt to get at least two hours.
I might come back and update tomorrow, it depends.......
trying to figure things out...
Audra