(no subject)
i get excited because im figuring stuff out and i am thinking about how the chemicals are making me excited and the song says just breathe and i get excited because i am thinking about controlling the chemicals this is me manic and i panic and compensate (i could detatch from reality so easily) and get depressed and am mellow until i have a thought that excites me. i am once agian it feels like coming to terms with what i know i am awizard of the chemicals and the chemicals are what drive me to be that wizard in a weird paradox when people i understand eveything and yet i dont want to embrace it because embracing it is getting excited... it feels like my heart will explode for hours if i embrace it i will die if i sleep i will die. i dont want to die.