Interior Voyage - Book One: Aurora- Part Ia
Title: Interior Voyage - Book One: Aurora- Part Ia
Author:
interior_voyage
Genre: AU
Rating: NC-17
Characteres: Adam Lambert, Brad Bell, Tommy Joe Ratliff, Monte Pittman, Isaac Carpenter, OMC, OFC
Pairing: All Sorts
Word Count: +/-2000 (This Part)
Warnings: None
Summary: Interior Voyage is the journey of Adam Mitchel Lambert, a genious musician in the late nineteenth century. It is the story of his life, his hardships, his struggles, his pride in his own talents and his love for those around him.
Interior VoyageBook One : Aurora *
Part Ia
Aurora now,
Fair daughter of the dawn,
Sprinkled with rosy light the dewy lawn. -Alexander Pope
The murmuring of the river rose from behind the house. The rain had been beating against the windows all day. From the broken corner of the window, a stream of water was dribbling down. The daylight was dying down. The house seemed dark and dull.
The neonate stirred in his cradle. The old man walked toward the new born, making the floor creak by his steps. The infant started whimpering. The mother leant out of her own bed to soothe it, while the grandfather lighted the map to prevent the baby from being frightened by the night, when he woke up.
The lamp lightened up old Noah's face. He went near the cradle. Leila signaled him not to go too close. She looked down; her eyes, filled with the infinite tenderness, devoured the child.
The baby woke up and started crying. His eyes looked troubled.
Oh! How horrifying everything looked! The darkness, the sudden flash of the lamp, the roaring of the thunder, the enormous faces leaning over him, the limitless sensations, sorrows, terrors, everything seemed incomprehensible to him.
"He is so ugly!" Noah said with conviction and put the lamp down on the table.
Leila pouted like a child.
Noah looked at her out of the corner of his eye and laughed.
"Come on, it is not your fault that he is ugly. They are all like that."
The child came out of the daze, caused by the light of the lamp and the eyes of the old man, and began to cry. Leila held out her arms for him.
"Give him to me."
"Don't give way to him when he cries. Just let him cry," he grumbled yet came and took the child, "I still think he is ugly."
Leila took the child in her arms and pressed it to her chest. She smiled down at the baby, "Oh, poor baby! How ugly you are and how I love you!"
Noah went back to the fireside and began to poke the fire with a smile.
"Do not worry, my girl!" he said. "He has plenty of time to change; and even if he does not, the only thing that matter is that he grows into an honest man. There is nothing more beautiful and finer than an honest man."
He, then, became silent, trying to find something more to say.
The warmth and comfort of his mother's body silenced the baby. The sound of him sucking her milk, gurgling and snorting filled the room.
"Where is your husband?"
"He must be at the theater," Leila said shyly, "There is a rehearsal."
"The theater is closed. I passed it on my way here. One of his lies."
"No. Do not always blame him. I must have misunderstood. Maybe he has been kept for one of his lessons."
"He has to come back sooner or later," said the old man, not satisfied. He stopped for a moment, and then in a rather lower and embarrassed voice asked, "Has he been drinking again?"
"No, father, no," Leila hurriedly said, while avoiding his eyes.
"You're lying."
She wept in silence.
"Dear God!" Noah said, kicking at the fire with his foot. The salamander fell with a clatter. The mother and the child trembled.
"Father, please!" said Leila, "You will make him cry."
The baby stopped sucking for a moment, as if deciding whether to cry or to go on with his meal. He went on with the meal.
"What have I ever done wrong to deserve such a drunkard as a son? I have done everything I could for him. I have denied myself everything all my life so that he can have a better life! Can't you do anything to stop him? That is your job...to find a way to keep your husband in line!"
Leila wept more.
"Don't blame me! I am sad enough as it is! I have done everything I could. You have no idea how terrified I am when I am alone! I keep hearing his steps on the stairs and I wait for the door to open, and I ask myself: 'O God! What will he look like?' It makes me sick!"
She shook with sobs. The now anxious old man went to her, covered her trembling shoulders with the bedding and caressed her head.
"Hush now, don't be afraid. I am here."
She calmed herself for the child's sake, and tried to smile.
"I shouldn't have told you that."
Noah shook his head as he looked at her.
"My poor child, it was not much of a gift that I gave you."
"It's my fault," she said. "He shouldn't have married me. He regrets it."
"What do you mean?"
"You know. You were angry yourself when I became his wife."
"That's in the past. Yes, I was annoyed. He was a fine young man; a grand, real artist and I believed he could do much better than you. Not only you were from a lower class, you did not know a thing about music. For more than a century no Lambert had ever married a woman who was not a musician! Of course I was vexed! But then I got to know you and grew fond of you. Plus, what is done is done. He has a responsibility toward you and this child, he has a duty." He went and sat down again, thought for a little, and then said, “The first thing in life is to do one's duty."
He then sat by the fireplace and they relapsed into silence, each busy with their own sad thoughts and dreams.
In spite of what he had said, Noah was still bitter about his son's marriage. Leila knew and blamed herself for that.
She had been a servant when, to everybody's surprise, herself included, she married Eber Lambert, Noah's son. The Lamberts were not rich, but were considerable in the little town in which the Noah had settled down more than fifty years before. Both father and son were musicians, and known to all the musicians of the country. Eber played the violin at the theater, and Noah had formerly been director of the grand-ducal concerts. The old man had had great hopes for his son; he wished to make Eber the distinguished man he had always dreamt to be himself and failed. So Eber's marriage was a profound humiliation for him and destroyed his ambitions. He had been furious at Eber and Leila at first. But his good heart made him forgive his daughter-in-law once he got to know her better.
No one ever understood why Eber married Leila, not even himself. Although Leila was pretty, she had no seductive quality: she was delicate, and a striking contrast to Eber and Noah, who were both big, broad, hearty eaters and drinkers, laughter-loving and noisy. She was crushed by them. No one noticed her, and she liked it that way. If Eber had been a kind man, one could assume he had chosen Leila based on her goodness; but he was vain, good-looking and quite aware of that, foolish yet somewhat talented, and could at least ask one of his pupils’ hand in marriage if he had decided to. Yet he had chosen a poor, uneducated, not very beautiful girl. But Eber was one of those men who always do the exact opposite of what is expected of them and take naughty pleasure in doing so. That was how he ended up marrying a cook. Even though he was neither drunk nor high when he bound himself to her for life, he still could not comprehend what force pushed him, took hold of him to sit beside the girl he one day saw in the forest nearby and to take her hand in his.
They were hardly married when the reality of what he had done hit him hard and he did not hide that shock from poor Leila. He was, by no means, a bad man, but once he discovered how his rich pupils and lady friends no longer trembled at the touch of his hand when he corrected the position of their fingers on the instruments, he started acting gloomy and distance, which did not go unnoticed by Leila. Eventually, he started staying out late, searching for his lost self-respect in bars and inns. On such nights, he would return home drunk or high out of his mind, laughing like a mad man. Leila hated that. She preferred the gloomy, mournful Eber, if she had to choose. Little by little, Eber sank lower and lower, gradually losing his sense and household money. At the time, he should have worked on developing his mediocre talent, he just let things slide, and others took his place.
It was in such condition that the little Adam Lambert set foot on this world.
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Finally and fully, night had arrived. Leila's voice pulled Noah out of his thoughts of sorrows.
"It must be late, father," said the young woman affectionately. "You should go home; you have far to go."
"I am waiting for Eber," replied the old man.
"Please, no. I would rather you did not stay."
"Why?"
The old man raised his head and looked fiercely at her.
She did not reply.
He resumed.
"You are afraid. You do not want me to meet him?"
"Yes, yes; it would only make things worse. You would make each other angry, and I don't want that. Please, please go!"
The old man sighed and rose.
"Well...I'll go."
He went to her. His stiff beard brushed her forehead as he kissed her goodbye. He put out the lamp, and went stumbling against the chairs in the darkness of the room. As he descended the stairs, his thoughts went to his son returning drunk and the thousands dangers it might arise.
Meanwhile the baby was stirring by his mother's side. It seemed to his mother that he was feeling an unknown sorrow in the depths of his heart. He clenched his fists, twister his body and frowned, as if he was suffering from a strong, increasing, steady, quiet force and began to cry. Gently, his mother caressed him. His suffering was already fading but was still there, eating his body away.
Leila pulled him closer to her and murmured, "Hush now, my little boy. Don't cry."
But he went on weeping, as if he knew a whole life of sorrow was waiting for him.
The bells of a church nearby echoed through the night. The child became silent in the middle of a sob. Like a flood of milk, the wondrous music soared sweetly through him. Suddenly everything looked bright. The air was moist and tender. His sorrows disappeared. His heart began to laugh, and he slid into his dreams with a sigh.
As she listened to the bells, Leila also dreamed, of her own past misery and of the future of the dear little baby sleeping by her side. She stayed awake and fatigued in her bed for hours. The heavy duvet, along with the darkness of the room crushed and oppressed her; yet she did not dare to move, until sleep overcame her. She thought she heard Eber open the door, and her heart leaped. The bells rang out more slowly, and then died down, and Leila slept by the side of her child.
All this time, Noah was standing outside the house, dripping with rain, his beard wet with the mist, waiting for the return of his wretched son. His never ceasing mind had insisted on telling him all the tragedies drunkenness could cause, and although he did not believe them, he could not have slept a wink if he had gone away without having seen his son return. The sound of the bells reminded him of all his shattered dreams and brought him a sense of melancholy. He thought of the reason why he was standing there at such an hour in the street, he wept from the shame.
* Aurora means the dawn.
Part Ib
Author:
interior_voyage
Genre: AU
Rating: NC-17
Characteres: Adam Lambert, Brad Bell, Tommy Joe Ratliff, Monte Pittman, Isaac Carpenter, OMC, OFC
Pairing: All Sorts
Word Count: +/-2000 (This Part)
Warnings: None
Summary: Interior Voyage is the journey of Adam Mitchel Lambert, a genious musician in the late nineteenth century. It is the story of his life, his hardships, his struggles, his pride in his own talents and his love for those around him.
Interior VoyageBook One : Aurora *
Part Ia
Aurora now,
Fair daughter of the dawn,
Sprinkled with rosy light the dewy lawn. -Alexander Pope
The murmuring of the river rose from behind the house. The rain had been beating against the windows all day. From the broken corner of the window, a stream of water was dribbling down. The daylight was dying down. The house seemed dark and dull.
The neonate stirred in his cradle. The old man walked toward the new born, making the floor creak by his steps. The infant started whimpering. The mother leant out of her own bed to soothe it, while the grandfather lighted the map to prevent the baby from being frightened by the night, when he woke up.
The lamp lightened up old Noah's face. He went near the cradle. Leila signaled him not to go too close. She looked down; her eyes, filled with the infinite tenderness, devoured the child.
The baby woke up and started crying. His eyes looked troubled.
Oh! How horrifying everything looked! The darkness, the sudden flash of the lamp, the roaring of the thunder, the enormous faces leaning over him, the limitless sensations, sorrows, terrors, everything seemed incomprehensible to him.
"He is so ugly!" Noah said with conviction and put the lamp down on the table.
Leila pouted like a child.
Noah looked at her out of the corner of his eye and laughed.
"Come on, it is not your fault that he is ugly. They are all like that."
The child came out of the daze, caused by the light of the lamp and the eyes of the old man, and began to cry. Leila held out her arms for him.
"Give him to me."
"Don't give way to him when he cries. Just let him cry," he grumbled yet came and took the child, "I still think he is ugly."
Leila took the child in her arms and pressed it to her chest. She smiled down at the baby, "Oh, poor baby! How ugly you are and how I love you!"
Noah went back to the fireside and began to poke the fire with a smile.
"Do not worry, my girl!" he said. "He has plenty of time to change; and even if he does not, the only thing that matter is that he grows into an honest man. There is nothing more beautiful and finer than an honest man."
He, then, became silent, trying to find something more to say.
The warmth and comfort of his mother's body silenced the baby. The sound of him sucking her milk, gurgling and snorting filled the room.
"Where is your husband?"
"He must be at the theater," Leila said shyly, "There is a rehearsal."
"The theater is closed. I passed it on my way here. One of his lies."
"No. Do not always blame him. I must have misunderstood. Maybe he has been kept for one of his lessons."
"He has to come back sooner or later," said the old man, not satisfied. He stopped for a moment, and then in a rather lower and embarrassed voice asked, "Has he been drinking again?"
"No, father, no," Leila hurriedly said, while avoiding his eyes.
"You're lying."
She wept in silence.
"Dear God!" Noah said, kicking at the fire with his foot. The salamander fell with a clatter. The mother and the child trembled.
"Father, please!" said Leila, "You will make him cry."
The baby stopped sucking for a moment, as if deciding whether to cry or to go on with his meal. He went on with the meal.
"What have I ever done wrong to deserve such a drunkard as a son? I have done everything I could for him. I have denied myself everything all my life so that he can have a better life! Can't you do anything to stop him? That is your job...to find a way to keep your husband in line!"
Leila wept more.
"Don't blame me! I am sad enough as it is! I have done everything I could. You have no idea how terrified I am when I am alone! I keep hearing his steps on the stairs and I wait for the door to open, and I ask myself: 'O God! What will he look like?' It makes me sick!"
She shook with sobs. The now anxious old man went to her, covered her trembling shoulders with the bedding and caressed her head.
"Hush now, don't be afraid. I am here."
She calmed herself for the child's sake, and tried to smile.
"I shouldn't have told you that."
Noah shook his head as he looked at her.
"My poor child, it was not much of a gift that I gave you."
"It's my fault," she said. "He shouldn't have married me. He regrets it."
"What do you mean?"
"You know. You were angry yourself when I became his wife."
"That's in the past. Yes, I was annoyed. He was a fine young man; a grand, real artist and I believed he could do much better than you. Not only you were from a lower class, you did not know a thing about music. For more than a century no Lambert had ever married a woman who was not a musician! Of course I was vexed! But then I got to know you and grew fond of you. Plus, what is done is done. He has a responsibility toward you and this child, he has a duty." He went and sat down again, thought for a little, and then said, “The first thing in life is to do one's duty."
He then sat by the fireplace and they relapsed into silence, each busy with their own sad thoughts and dreams.
In spite of what he had said, Noah was still bitter about his son's marriage. Leila knew and blamed herself for that.
She had been a servant when, to everybody's surprise, herself included, she married Eber Lambert, Noah's son. The Lamberts were not rich, but were considerable in the little town in which the Noah had settled down more than fifty years before. Both father and son were musicians, and known to all the musicians of the country. Eber played the violin at the theater, and Noah had formerly been director of the grand-ducal concerts. The old man had had great hopes for his son; he wished to make Eber the distinguished man he had always dreamt to be himself and failed. So Eber's marriage was a profound humiliation for him and destroyed his ambitions. He had been furious at Eber and Leila at first. But his good heart made him forgive his daughter-in-law once he got to know her better.
No one ever understood why Eber married Leila, not even himself. Although Leila was pretty, she had no seductive quality: she was delicate, and a striking contrast to Eber and Noah, who were both big, broad, hearty eaters and drinkers, laughter-loving and noisy. She was crushed by them. No one noticed her, and she liked it that way. If Eber had been a kind man, one could assume he had chosen Leila based on her goodness; but he was vain, good-looking and quite aware of that, foolish yet somewhat talented, and could at least ask one of his pupils’ hand in marriage if he had decided to. Yet he had chosen a poor, uneducated, not very beautiful girl. But Eber was one of those men who always do the exact opposite of what is expected of them and take naughty pleasure in doing so. That was how he ended up marrying a cook. Even though he was neither drunk nor high when he bound himself to her for life, he still could not comprehend what force pushed him, took hold of him to sit beside the girl he one day saw in the forest nearby and to take her hand in his.
They were hardly married when the reality of what he had done hit him hard and he did not hide that shock from poor Leila. He was, by no means, a bad man, but once he discovered how his rich pupils and lady friends no longer trembled at the touch of his hand when he corrected the position of their fingers on the instruments, he started acting gloomy and distance, which did not go unnoticed by Leila. Eventually, he started staying out late, searching for his lost self-respect in bars and inns. On such nights, he would return home drunk or high out of his mind, laughing like a mad man. Leila hated that. She preferred the gloomy, mournful Eber, if she had to choose. Little by little, Eber sank lower and lower, gradually losing his sense and household money. At the time, he should have worked on developing his mediocre talent, he just let things slide, and others took his place.
It was in such condition that the little Adam Lambert set foot on this world.
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Finally and fully, night had arrived. Leila's voice pulled Noah out of his thoughts of sorrows.
"It must be late, father," said the young woman affectionately. "You should go home; you have far to go."
"I am waiting for Eber," replied the old man.
"Please, no. I would rather you did not stay."
"Why?"
The old man raised his head and looked fiercely at her.
She did not reply.
He resumed.
"You are afraid. You do not want me to meet him?"
"Yes, yes; it would only make things worse. You would make each other angry, and I don't want that. Please, please go!"
The old man sighed and rose.
"Well...I'll go."
He went to her. His stiff beard brushed her forehead as he kissed her goodbye. He put out the lamp, and went stumbling against the chairs in the darkness of the room. As he descended the stairs, his thoughts went to his son returning drunk and the thousands dangers it might arise.
Meanwhile the baby was stirring by his mother's side. It seemed to his mother that he was feeling an unknown sorrow in the depths of his heart. He clenched his fists, twister his body and frowned, as if he was suffering from a strong, increasing, steady, quiet force and began to cry. Gently, his mother caressed him. His suffering was already fading but was still there, eating his body away.
Leila pulled him closer to her and murmured, "Hush now, my little boy. Don't cry."
But he went on weeping, as if he knew a whole life of sorrow was waiting for him.
The bells of a church nearby echoed through the night. The child became silent in the middle of a sob. Like a flood of milk, the wondrous music soared sweetly through him. Suddenly everything looked bright. The air was moist and tender. His sorrows disappeared. His heart began to laugh, and he slid into his dreams with a sigh.
As she listened to the bells, Leila also dreamed, of her own past misery and of the future of the dear little baby sleeping by her side. She stayed awake and fatigued in her bed for hours. The heavy duvet, along with the darkness of the room crushed and oppressed her; yet she did not dare to move, until sleep overcame her. She thought she heard Eber open the door, and her heart leaped. The bells rang out more slowly, and then died down, and Leila slept by the side of her child.
All this time, Noah was standing outside the house, dripping with rain, his beard wet with the mist, waiting for the return of his wretched son. His never ceasing mind had insisted on telling him all the tragedies drunkenness could cause, and although he did not believe them, he could not have slept a wink if he had gone away without having seen his son return. The sound of the bells reminded him of all his shattered dreams and brought him a sense of melancholy. He thought of the reason why he was standing there at such an hour in the street, he wept from the shame.
* Aurora means the dawn.
Part Ib