a small summary of where I am right now.
So as of yesterday, I'm 22.
It was a mostly nondescript birthday, as far as birthdays go. I did go play capoeira angola in the city and made the mistake of telling one of the people there that it was my birthday... they made me play between 6 and 8 people in a row (i lost track) as their way of congratulating me. It was better than 22 punches in the arm, but left me far more exhausted. Other than that, it was pretty standard fare... Dinner with my parents, hung out with two different friends at two different times... and i got a birthday kiss from someone who i'd worked with all summer and had a crush on. Unfortunately it was right before I had to run to dinner with my parents, so i don't know if there will ever be another one or whether he was just humoring me. i was supposed to be taken out dancing by one of my friends, but she got a stomach virus and was vomiting the whole day. Ah well, there's always next year.
I sent the letter to ben, and another letter to his girlfriend. I don't expect that i'll be able to be amicable with either for years, if ever. But I don't feel that it's my fault, and so I'm not going to let it get to me. I've got at least one other person from that group (hopefully two) who fully support me and care about me. I'm going to try and keep in touch more while we're at school.
This is my final semester at Oberlin. I can hardly believe that 4 years went by so fast. I have no idea where the time went, and no idea what i'm doing after school. I hope to become an environmental consultant, and eventually start my own green consulting firm. I figure I'm good at talking to people, and selling them on things I'm passionate about. I hope to make corporations realize that they can profit from sustainability. I want them to rethink their wastes, and change their production loops, and increase employee satisfaction. I think that this will save them money while saving the environment. For me, it's a way of reaching a lot of people and changing a lot of minds. Hopefully it will work out.
Except for the birthday kiss, I haven't had a relationship in ages. Last semester was pretty rocky relationships-wise. I had 5 separate guys with girlfriends tell me that they found me attractive in one way or another and wanted to do something with me. I did not do anything with any of them, as I have some self respect sometimes. Since none of them were willing to leave their girlfriends to allow me the opportunity of trying to be with them, nothing happened.
Two of my roommates are moving out of our apartment this semester. I think I am a horrible roommate, but it's been a really rough year, and we had communication issues.
I feel like I've had communication issues with everyone this year.
So now I'm 22. Hopefully this is a year of change. I hope to mature a bit, to accept more responsibility for myself. I've already started to throw out negative relationships and started to try to focus more on the people who care about me than the people who don't. I hope to continue Capoeira, and be good to my body, and love every one of my curves and every part of me.
Except for the awkwardness with the BS (my new term for what i shall now label the "Ben Saga", a rather unfortunate chapter in my life), this has been a pretty good break. I really enjoyed being down in Costa Rica, and walking through the forest and being able to breathe really deeply. I had some intimate conversations with my grandfather, which is unusual since he's a very quiet, reserved person who doesn't necessarily volunteer any information. I enjoyed being with myself for the first time in a while, and though i did want to show people things I saw, it wasn't imperative. I was alone with myself, and that was ok.
I want to take up meditation this year. I think it will help me center myself, and I find that it's very important for me to know who i am right now.
I'm thinking of going on a NOLS course this summer after school, or possibly taking a wildlife course in Oregon where they teach you how to hunt and track and recognize bird calls and build debris shelters and all that jazz. I really want to learn how to take care of myself, in the true sense of the term.
All in all, I think I'm doing ok. We shall see what the coming year brings, and hope for the best.
It was a mostly nondescript birthday, as far as birthdays go. I did go play capoeira angola in the city and made the mistake of telling one of the people there that it was my birthday... they made me play between 6 and 8 people in a row (i lost track) as their way of congratulating me. It was better than 22 punches in the arm, but left me far more exhausted. Other than that, it was pretty standard fare... Dinner with my parents, hung out with two different friends at two different times... and i got a birthday kiss from someone who i'd worked with all summer and had a crush on. Unfortunately it was right before I had to run to dinner with my parents, so i don't know if there will ever be another one or whether he was just humoring me. i was supposed to be taken out dancing by one of my friends, but she got a stomach virus and was vomiting the whole day. Ah well, there's always next year.
I sent the letter to ben, and another letter to his girlfriend. I don't expect that i'll be able to be amicable with either for years, if ever. But I don't feel that it's my fault, and so I'm not going to let it get to me. I've got at least one other person from that group (hopefully two) who fully support me and care about me. I'm going to try and keep in touch more while we're at school.
This is my final semester at Oberlin. I can hardly believe that 4 years went by so fast. I have no idea where the time went, and no idea what i'm doing after school. I hope to become an environmental consultant, and eventually start my own green consulting firm. I figure I'm good at talking to people, and selling them on things I'm passionate about. I hope to make corporations realize that they can profit from sustainability. I want them to rethink their wastes, and change their production loops, and increase employee satisfaction. I think that this will save them money while saving the environment. For me, it's a way of reaching a lot of people and changing a lot of minds. Hopefully it will work out.
Except for the birthday kiss, I haven't had a relationship in ages. Last semester was pretty rocky relationships-wise. I had 5 separate guys with girlfriends tell me that they found me attractive in one way or another and wanted to do something with me. I did not do anything with any of them, as I have some self respect sometimes. Since none of them were willing to leave their girlfriends to allow me the opportunity of trying to be with them, nothing happened.
Two of my roommates are moving out of our apartment this semester. I think I am a horrible roommate, but it's been a really rough year, and we had communication issues.
I feel like I've had communication issues with everyone this year.
So now I'm 22. Hopefully this is a year of change. I hope to mature a bit, to accept more responsibility for myself. I've already started to throw out negative relationships and started to try to focus more on the people who care about me than the people who don't. I hope to continue Capoeira, and be good to my body, and love every one of my curves and every part of me.
Except for the awkwardness with the BS (my new term for what i shall now label the "Ben Saga", a rather unfortunate chapter in my life), this has been a pretty good break. I really enjoyed being down in Costa Rica, and walking through the forest and being able to breathe really deeply. I had some intimate conversations with my grandfather, which is unusual since he's a very quiet, reserved person who doesn't necessarily volunteer any information. I enjoyed being with myself for the first time in a while, and though i did want to show people things I saw, it wasn't imperative. I was alone with myself, and that was ok.
I want to take up meditation this year. I think it will help me center myself, and I find that it's very important for me to know who i am right now.
I'm thinking of going on a NOLS course this summer after school, or possibly taking a wildlife course in Oregon where they teach you how to hunt and track and recognize bird calls and build debris shelters and all that jazz. I really want to learn how to take care of myself, in the true sense of the term.
All in all, I think I'm doing ok. We shall see what the coming year brings, and hope for the best.