Crossover Conversations meme - part 1
The first part of my replies for the Crossover Conversations Meme. I should also note that this was my first time writing for characters from Harry Potter, The Office and Parks & Recreation.
For alkow -
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers (L&O) and Professor Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter)
“I used to be a redhead,” Rodgers said, admiring the older woman’s distinct shade of auburn.
“What happened?” McGonagall asked.
“…Clairol discontinued my shade,” Rodgers sighed. “Nothing else seemed right after that so I just…went with blond.”
“What was the exact shade?” McGonagall was more curious than before.
“Almost like yours,” she said. “A little brighter.”
Concentrating on the doctor, and with a flick of her wand, McGonagall performed a color change charm. “Abeo spectramus!”
Rodgers felt an odd sensation down to the roots of her scalp.
McGonagall produced a mirror. “Will this do?” she asked.
Rodgers peered into the glass. Her hair was the exact shade of red it had once been. “That’s incredible. Have you ever thought of opening a beauty salon?”
“A what?”
For neojess -
Dr. Jonathan Crane (Batman) and ADA Dan Fielding (Night Court)
“Oh, great,” Dan Fielding muttered as he got onto the elevator. “Another nut.”
“Excuse me?” the man in the scarecrow mask glanced at him. “I wouldn’t be so quick to judge, tubby.”
“I am not-overweight,” Fielding said with annoyance as he straightened up.
“Is that a fear of yours-being overweight?” the Scarecrow asked. “Not fitting in with your peers? People laughing at you?”
“People don’t-do that,” Fielding insisted, his face telling otherwise.
“Have you ever considered therapy?” Crane wanted to know.
Twenty minutes later, Criminal Court Part 2 was called into session. The prosecutor was notably absent. Judge Stone looked around. “Has anyone seen Mr. Fielding?”
Detective Mike Logan (L&O) and Michael Scott (The Office)
Michael Scott looked into the camera. “I’m here in New York City visiting Corporate and there’s a parade today. I love parades.” The camera panned to a line of uniformed NYPD officers, all patrolling the parade. “Excuse me, Officer?” Michael went up to one of the men, a tall, gum-chewing, hook-nosed cop who looked close to retirement.
Mike Logan glared at the tourist. “What?” He snapped his gum again. God, he hated parade duty.
“Can you tell me where the nearest bathroom is?” Michael asked sincerely.
“Yeah, right down that alley,” Logan rolled his eyes.
“Oh-oh, great. Thank you, thank you so much.” Michael hurried past. “God bless America.”
“You gotta be shitting me,” Logan muttered, turning back to the parade.
For makeitstopjamie:
DA Harvey Dent (Batman) and ADA Connie Rubirosa (L&O)
“Your Honor, there is clearly precedent for this,” Connie Rubirosa argued. “The defendant was apprehended in New York City.”
“But the initial crimes were committed in Gotham,” Harvey Dent pointed out from the other table. “The District Attorney’s Office of Gotham City clearly has jurisdiction.”
“I’m afraid Mr. Dent is right,” the judge said somberly. “The defendant will be transferred into the custody of the Gotham Police Department.”
As Harvey smirked smugly, Connie fumed.
“Better luck next time, Ms. Rubirosa,” the fresh-faced blond D.A. said.
Connie glared. “Hope you don’t have to deal with our office any time soon, Mr. Dent. I wouldn’t expect any favors.”
Before Harvey could answer, Connie’s cell phone buzzed. She looked down at the text she received from Mike Cutter. “Well?” it said.
She typed quickly. “We lost. Dent’s too cocky for his own good…he reminds me of someone.”
Batman (Batman) and Detective Cyrus Lupo (L&O)
“Detective,” the gravelly voice came from the shadows.
Cyrus raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“Seriously what?” the masked man asked.
“…seriously-are you really hiding behind a mask in the shadows? Who does that?” He really had seen everything, Lupo decided.
“Look, do you want information on where to find the Riddler or not?”
“The Riddler? What is that, some pet name? We’re looking for Edward Nygma,” Lupo rolled his eyes. “And if you can’t come out of the shadows, your information is no good.”
“I can’t do that,” Batman growled.
“…so basically, you want to tell us where a witness is and give us information on his illegal deeds, but not testify in court, which pretty much nullifies finding him in the first place…or you want to find him using illegal means…which again, cancels out finding him…just forget it, guy.” Lupo was just about ready to radio back to Van Buren and Bernard in the van.
“Some police officers would be grateful,” Batman muttered.
“In what world are you living in?” Lupo snapped. “Geez, you’re walking around in a latex Bat-suit, claiming you know where a criminal mastermind is. Yeah, and last week, we had a guy in rollerskates and spandex who knew about a secret KGB plot.”
For runawaynun -
Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation) and John Munch (L&O: SVU)
“Can I help you?” John Munch glared at the woman who was poking through his desk.
“Oh, hiii,” the blond smiled brightly, holding out her hand. “Leslie Ann Knope.”
Munch eyed her hand warily. “I don’t shake hands when I can help it. Do you know how many bacteria get passed on because people don’t wash?”
Leslie looked at him a little blankly. “Well that’s certainly informative. Are you the health safety inspector? I thought Health and Human Services was in a different building.”
“No, I’m a police sergeant. You’re in the NYPD’s 16th precinct,” Munch said, still glaring.
“Oh, I know!” Leslie grinned. “I’m waiting for a tour.”
“…tour?” Munch’s voice went weak. “I didn’t know we’d started giving civilian tours.”
“Oh, I’m not a civilian,” she said excitedly. “I’m from the Pawhnee, Indiana Parks and Recreation Department. I’m here on business. You know, City-to-City visit.”
Now it was Munch’s turn to look blank, but for different reasons. Before he could retort, Captain Cragen came up to them. “Oh, good. Leslie, I see you’ve met your tour guide…”
For alkow -
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers (L&O) and Professor Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter)
“I used to be a redhead,” Rodgers said, admiring the older woman’s distinct shade of auburn.
“What happened?” McGonagall asked.
“…Clairol discontinued my shade,” Rodgers sighed. “Nothing else seemed right after that so I just…went with blond.”
“What was the exact shade?” McGonagall was more curious than before.
“Almost like yours,” she said. “A little brighter.”
Concentrating on the doctor, and with a flick of her wand, McGonagall performed a color change charm. “Abeo spectramus!”
Rodgers felt an odd sensation down to the roots of her scalp.
McGonagall produced a mirror. “Will this do?” she asked.
Rodgers peered into the glass. Her hair was the exact shade of red it had once been. “That’s incredible. Have you ever thought of opening a beauty salon?”
“A what?”
For neojess -
Dr. Jonathan Crane (Batman) and ADA Dan Fielding (Night Court)
“Oh, great,” Dan Fielding muttered as he got onto the elevator. “Another nut.”
“Excuse me?” the man in the scarecrow mask glanced at him. “I wouldn’t be so quick to judge, tubby.”
“I am not-overweight,” Fielding said with annoyance as he straightened up.
“Is that a fear of yours-being overweight?” the Scarecrow asked. “Not fitting in with your peers? People laughing at you?”
“People don’t-do that,” Fielding insisted, his face telling otherwise.
“Have you ever considered therapy?” Crane wanted to know.
Twenty minutes later, Criminal Court Part 2 was called into session. The prosecutor was notably absent. Judge Stone looked around. “Has anyone seen Mr. Fielding?”
Detective Mike Logan (L&O) and Michael Scott (The Office)
Michael Scott looked into the camera. “I’m here in New York City visiting Corporate and there’s a parade today. I love parades.” The camera panned to a line of uniformed NYPD officers, all patrolling the parade. “Excuse me, Officer?” Michael went up to one of the men, a tall, gum-chewing, hook-nosed cop who looked close to retirement.
Mike Logan glared at the tourist. “What?” He snapped his gum again. God, he hated parade duty.
“Can you tell me where the nearest bathroom is?” Michael asked sincerely.
“Yeah, right down that alley,” Logan rolled his eyes.
“Oh-oh, great. Thank you, thank you so much.” Michael hurried past. “God bless America.”
“You gotta be shitting me,” Logan muttered, turning back to the parade.
For makeitstopjamie:
DA Harvey Dent (Batman) and ADA Connie Rubirosa (L&O)
“Your Honor, there is clearly precedent for this,” Connie Rubirosa argued. “The defendant was apprehended in New York City.”
“But the initial crimes were committed in Gotham,” Harvey Dent pointed out from the other table. “The District Attorney’s Office of Gotham City clearly has jurisdiction.”
“I’m afraid Mr. Dent is right,” the judge said somberly. “The defendant will be transferred into the custody of the Gotham Police Department.”
As Harvey smirked smugly, Connie fumed.
“Better luck next time, Ms. Rubirosa,” the fresh-faced blond D.A. said.
Connie glared. “Hope you don’t have to deal with our office any time soon, Mr. Dent. I wouldn’t expect any favors.”
Before Harvey could answer, Connie’s cell phone buzzed. She looked down at the text she received from Mike Cutter. “Well?” it said.
She typed quickly. “We lost. Dent’s too cocky for his own good…he reminds me of someone.”
Batman (Batman) and Detective Cyrus Lupo (L&O)
“Detective,” the gravelly voice came from the shadows.
Cyrus raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“Seriously what?” the masked man asked.
“…seriously-are you really hiding behind a mask in the shadows? Who does that?” He really had seen everything, Lupo decided.
“Look, do you want information on where to find the Riddler or not?”
“The Riddler? What is that, some pet name? We’re looking for Edward Nygma,” Lupo rolled his eyes. “And if you can’t come out of the shadows, your information is no good.”
“I can’t do that,” Batman growled.
“…so basically, you want to tell us where a witness is and give us information on his illegal deeds, but not testify in court, which pretty much nullifies finding him in the first place…or you want to find him using illegal means…which again, cancels out finding him…just forget it, guy.” Lupo was just about ready to radio back to Van Buren and Bernard in the van.
“Some police officers would be grateful,” Batman muttered.
“In what world are you living in?” Lupo snapped. “Geez, you’re walking around in a latex Bat-suit, claiming you know where a criminal mastermind is. Yeah, and last week, we had a guy in rollerskates and spandex who knew about a secret KGB plot.”
For runawaynun -
Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation) and John Munch (L&O: SVU)
“Can I help you?” John Munch glared at the woman who was poking through his desk.
“Oh, hiii,” the blond smiled brightly, holding out her hand. “Leslie Ann Knope.”
Munch eyed her hand warily. “I don’t shake hands when I can help it. Do you know how many bacteria get passed on because people don’t wash?”
Leslie looked at him a little blankly. “Well that’s certainly informative. Are you the health safety inspector? I thought Health and Human Services was in a different building.”
“No, I’m a police sergeant. You’re in the NYPD’s 16th precinct,” Munch said, still glaring.
“Oh, I know!” Leslie grinned. “I’m waiting for a tour.”
“…tour?” Munch’s voice went weak. “I didn’t know we’d started giving civilian tours.”
“Oh, I’m not a civilian,” she said excitedly. “I’m from the Pawhnee, Indiana Parks and Recreation Department. I’m here on business. You know, City-to-City visit.”
Now it was Munch’s turn to look blank, but for different reasons. Before he could retort, Captain Cragen came up to them. “Oh, good. Leslie, I see you’ve met your tour guide…”