Fic: Underneath the Veneer
Title: Underneath the Veneer
Fandom:Law & Order
Characters:Jamie Ross, Neil Gorton
Word Coutn:748
Rating:PG
Author's Notes: After re-watching the “Judgment in L.A.” three-parter (“D-Girl”, “Turnaround”, and “Showtime”) which featured Jamie going up against Neil in court, the plot bunnies have been non-stop. This is a companion piece to Captivate. If you haven’t read that, it is a MUST for reading this one. Set in 1997, directly after “Showtime.”
She was the first person he ever believed in. Besides himself, that is. There were things he believed in, sure-money, the law. But never before had Neil Gorton actually believed in a person. Where he grew up, believing in people was a dangerous thing. Believing in friends got a person double-crossed. Believing in family was no better. His father had walked out one day, leaving his mother and sisters in his own 14-year old care. Except for the occasional phone call, Sam Gorton never bothered with his former family. Instead of growing closer to the family he did have, Neil only distanced himself. He learned to be cold, calculated.
People let you down. People could not be trusted. If you wanted out, you made your own way. Neil had made his own way. His law firm-the scads of associates, fellow partners, money that kept rolling in? Sure, others had a part in it, but Neil firmly believed that it was his vision-his belief in himself-that had gotten there. People were pawns. You either controlled the pawns, or let yourself be controlled.
Jamie was the only one he let see past the cunning exterior that he’d worked so hard to build up. At first, he relished in it, reveled that she could see through him. He never figured that once a person could see through you, it left them knowing too much. By the time they married, she had begun to anticipate his actions-not just in the courtroom but at home.
She still loved him, true, but instead of loving him for what he was, as she had done in the beginning, she also wanted him to change. She became…like a wife, and not the exotic lover, the girl with the bright eyes who’d walked into his law firm all those years ago. He understood it-it happened in every marriage, but he never anticipated it happening in his own. He knew too that he was not the same courteous, playful suitor he’d been in the beginning.
But it was easier to blame her, easier to ignore his own faults as it happened.
As their love life and the time they spent together became less extraordinary (in his eyes) and the fights more frequent, he began to forget the beginning and focus on what would be the end. It would have to be the end. He wouldn’t wait for her to walk out on him like his father had done. He would not stand empty silences and their daughter afraid to move about the house-no, those were scenes from his own childhood-mother listless, sisters mousy and frightened.
Instead, he would do a preemptive strike. Hit her at her emotional core before she could hit him. Lawyers did it all the time. She would understand.
For the first few months afterward, all he let himself think about were the fights. The inevitabilities, how she had double-crossed him. But he knew it was a lie. Beneath the veneer of nastiness that he presented to her every chance he got, he knew it was a lie. He had been the betrayer.
Maybe a remembrance of their former life was what had made him drop the custody charges he’d filed against her. He would never admit that he’d enjoyed the time he’d spent going up against her and McCoy in criminal court. It wasn’t just looking at her-even though she did look just great, better than she had during their marriage, actually.
Toward the end of their marriage, her eyes had grown lackluster-exhausted from the fighting that she loved so much, tired of the train wreck that had become their marriage. He noticed there in the courtroom as she strode across the well with confidence, looked at the jurors with ease and began to speak, the liveliness in her eyes was back.
He would also never admit that he’d enjoyed the drinks they’d shared over the course of the trial. He covered it up with angry looks at McCoy, patronizing words for Jamie. He’d put on the dog and pony show for the media, true. But she knew him better than that. At least, he hoped that she still did. She always knew him best and that was something he would never forget.
Even now, a year after their divorce had been finalized, he still believed in her, had always thought that maybe she would be the one to save him from himself.
She wasn’t enough.
Fandom:Law & Order
Characters:Jamie Ross, Neil Gorton
Word Coutn:748
Rating:PG
Author's Notes: After re-watching the “Judgment in L.A.” three-parter (“D-Girl”, “Turnaround”, and “Showtime”) which featured Jamie going up against Neil in court, the plot bunnies have been non-stop. This is a companion piece to Captivate. If you haven’t read that, it is a MUST for reading this one. Set in 1997, directly after “Showtime.”
She was the first person he ever believed in. Besides himself, that is. There were things he believed in, sure-money, the law. But never before had Neil Gorton actually believed in a person. Where he grew up, believing in people was a dangerous thing. Believing in friends got a person double-crossed. Believing in family was no better. His father had walked out one day, leaving his mother and sisters in his own 14-year old care. Except for the occasional phone call, Sam Gorton never bothered with his former family. Instead of growing closer to the family he did have, Neil only distanced himself. He learned to be cold, calculated.
People let you down. People could not be trusted. If you wanted out, you made your own way. Neil had made his own way. His law firm-the scads of associates, fellow partners, money that kept rolling in? Sure, others had a part in it, but Neil firmly believed that it was his vision-his belief in himself-that had gotten there. People were pawns. You either controlled the pawns, or let yourself be controlled.
Jamie was the only one he let see past the cunning exterior that he’d worked so hard to build up. At first, he relished in it, reveled that she could see through him. He never figured that once a person could see through you, it left them knowing too much. By the time they married, she had begun to anticipate his actions-not just in the courtroom but at home.
She still loved him, true, but instead of loving him for what he was, as she had done in the beginning, she also wanted him to change. She became…like a wife, and not the exotic lover, the girl with the bright eyes who’d walked into his law firm all those years ago. He understood it-it happened in every marriage, but he never anticipated it happening in his own. He knew too that he was not the same courteous, playful suitor he’d been in the beginning.
But it was easier to blame her, easier to ignore his own faults as it happened.
As their love life and the time they spent together became less extraordinary (in his eyes) and the fights more frequent, he began to forget the beginning and focus on what would be the end. It would have to be the end. He wouldn’t wait for her to walk out on him like his father had done. He would not stand empty silences and their daughter afraid to move about the house-no, those were scenes from his own childhood-mother listless, sisters mousy and frightened.
Instead, he would do a preemptive strike. Hit her at her emotional core before she could hit him. Lawyers did it all the time. She would understand.
For the first few months afterward, all he let himself think about were the fights. The inevitabilities, how she had double-crossed him. But he knew it was a lie. Beneath the veneer of nastiness that he presented to her every chance he got, he knew it was a lie. He had been the betrayer.
Maybe a remembrance of their former life was what had made him drop the custody charges he’d filed against her. He would never admit that he’d enjoyed the time he’d spent going up against her and McCoy in criminal court. It wasn’t just looking at her-even though she did look just great, better than she had during their marriage, actually.
Toward the end of their marriage, her eyes had grown lackluster-exhausted from the fighting that she loved so much, tired of the train wreck that had become their marriage. He noticed there in the courtroom as she strode across the well with confidence, looked at the jurors with ease and began to speak, the liveliness in her eyes was back.
He would also never admit that he’d enjoyed the drinks they’d shared over the course of the trial. He covered it up with angry looks at McCoy, patronizing words for Jamie. He’d put on the dog and pony show for the media, true. But she knew him better than that. At least, he hoped that she still did. She always knew him best and that was something he would never forget.
Even now, a year after their divorce had been finalized, he still believed in her, had always thought that maybe she would be the one to save him from himself.
She wasn’t enough.