Title: The Engagement Slap.
Fandom: KKM.
Warnings: Silliness, messing up with canon, OCs. Spoilery since it mentions the Ancestors but not really anything else.
Characters/couples: Yuuri, Murata, mentiones of Wolfram. Daikenja, Shinou, the Ancestors (implied Daikenja/Shinou)
Summary: “How, and I mean, how did it became a traditional engagement proposal? I mean it’s a SLAP! Who the heck came up with the idea that a slap was the perfect way to ask someone to marry you!?”
Rating: PG/PG13.
Notes: Too much work, too much sugar and little sleep, make me write very weird things. And... forgive my Camelot-geekness, couldn't help myself.
The Engagement Slap.
“How, and I mean, how did it became a traditional engagement proposal?” Yuuri turned towards Murata, who had been pretty much trying to play it innocent all afternoon, or at least since Yuuri had had to go into hiding for his own safety and the damn Sage wouldn’t let him go back to his planet where there wouldn’t be a very pissed off Fire Elemental after his ass. “I mean it’s a SLAP! Who the heck came up with the idea that a slap was the perfect way to ask someone to marry you?!”
It had been a nice day, or so Yuuri had thought. Just another normal State Dinner for the visiting lords of the Von Kleist family (and help him God and the Original King, more Gunthers!) and it had been a nice surprise because Gunther’s brother was a very calm and composed man who had a son just a hundred years old and really, Wolfram didn’t need to keep on repeating how the two of them were engaged.
And then by mistake, by sheer klutziness (and c’mon, everyone and their pandas knew that he wasn’t exactly graceful half of the day if it was a lucky one)… he had slipped and sir Kurt (Gunther’s nephew) had tried to catch him but then Wolfram (and really, in the end, it had been Wolfram’s fault, not his!) pushed the other boy and made him lose what little equilibrium he had managed to hold unto and Yuuri's hand had moved on its own and collided with the left cheek of the very unsuspecting Kurt… and three hours later he was still hiding.
Yuuri just knew that Wolfram's killer instinct was going to last until the next century if he was lucky and he remained very still under the alcove and maybe if Greta pouted a little about how she really didn't want him dead. He also got the inkling feeling that if he was discovered hiding with Murata by his side, Shin Makoku was going to lose its Maou and Great Sage (and maybe possibly the castle) all in the same day.
Murata was still playing it innocent so Yuuri glared a bit more.
“Murata…”
The Sage grinned and what little light was in their shelter reflected on his glasses.
“Weeelll… it's really a very funny story, Shibuya… see…”
***
Daikenja tried very, very hard to keep his face from going into the shock that was registering on the Maou's face, his hand still raised after having slapped the Human King when said King had pretty much said that he'd rather have Sand Bear’s excrement rather than agree to the Peace Treatment that the Maou had offered.
More than two hundred years old and he still acted like a fifty years old kid. And it had been such a beautiful day too. Not a cloud on sight, the construction of the castle was going perfectly as was that of the Shrine he had suggested…
“How…” King Arthur was starting to flush, rage clear on his face and his knights had already unsheathed their swords. And their king, of course, had reverted to the very infallible way of glaring.
Had he said a hundred? His bad. Cut it to fifty. If.
“It was an engagement proposal.” Daikenja said quickly, motioning to the other Lords to change their faces from shit-we-know-we-promised-to-die-for-our-king-we-just-didn't-expect-it-to-be-over-dinner to of-course-it-is-don't-you-know-a-thing face which, he might add, sir Rufus managed with impressive detail.
The humans, of course, turned to see each other, blinking. Daikenja kept his soft smile, trying to will the human king into believing his obvious lie. It had been because lady Khrennikov had been talking with lady Spitzburg about her engagement with sir von Kleist just a while ago and he and the Shinou had heard them. It had been, quite simply, the first thing to pop in his mind that seemed harmless enough.
Sir Weller bent his head towards the human king, a warm smile on his face.
“Milord, it's a Mazoku costume since it shows the strength of the person and also the passion he or she has.”
Sometimes, Daikenja was sure he should talk the Shinou into giving the Weller knight some kind of building or title for his patience and ability to smile and make everyone believe what he said.
King Arthur blinked.
“It was?” Shinou didn’t say a thing, arms crossed as if he was waiting and not, Daikenja knew, just holding his laugh. His smile still warm, Daijenka didn’t say no or yes. “Was it accepted?”
Some birds shouted ‘BAD OMENS!’ just then.
For just a lovely, lovely second, he wondered about saying yes, since the Maou's face had turned a quite becoming shade of green. Of course, it was just a second where he left his inner devious self enjoy the panic of his king.
Weller cleared his throat and with the aid of his sheath he pointed towards something on the floor. With the corner of his eye, Daikenja noticed a single silver knife near the feet of the Maou. In a concert of glances, lord Walde picked up the knife and gave it to lord Bielefelt who managed to move quite graciously towards the table, dropping the knife in the Maou's hand.
Daikenja smiled, bowing his head.
“No, Milord. You refused the proposal and also challenged the Maou to a duel since he offended your honor, which we of course understand. He also understands this and that is why he picked up the knife, milord, to say he accepts your challenge.”
Both the Maou and the human king blinked, although Shinou was just for a moment before going back to his royal 'of-course-I-knew-that' face. King Arthur still looked a little bit shocked at the sudden information.
“I did… I mean, of course I did.” Once again in control of his emotions, the human king turned to look towards the Maou. “We'll have the duel at sunset, swords only. And, if you win sir… I might see into accepting the Treaty you are proposing.”
“So be it, sir.” The Shinou said in a regal voice.
And before anything else happened, both Wincott brothers said that they should go to eat before the duel.
In the end, not only had Shinou won the duel and had the treaty signed, but somehow forks and spoons had also joined into the silverware tradition of duels and proposals, and King Arthur had warmed a little bit after losing since sir Ruffas mentioned that his younger sister Guinivere was going to be sixty soon and that was the Mazoku age for damsels to get engaged.
The Great Sage? Well, he had an idea or two involving slaps and a certain golden haired king…
***
“You’re joking.” Yuuri deadpanned.
Murata blinked, tilting his head.
“Why?”
“There is no way that's how it happened. You're not serious. I mean, no one would buy that!”
“Maa, you think?” Murata grinned, sunrays reflecting from his eyes. “I myself always thought it was a pretty good idea…”
Yuuri would have replied to Murata but by the sounds of slamming doors carrying over them, Wolfram was getting closer to their hiding location and, since he really, really didn't want to die just yet, he should better start running first and ask the questions later.