(no subject)
I want to meet someone new. I've just recently realized this were true.
In the past I had no interest in anyone else but "him" the thought never seemed to cross my mind.
I guess now because it's Summer and people are actually outside and doing things it's starting to bother me that I don't do anything really.
It irritates me that it's so hard to find good " girl " friends. I've always had a problem with that. As it is I have about 2. That's just not enough. I want " girls night out's " and all that.
Those are my best memories from back in highschool when things weren't so serious and I wasn't wasting my life away waiting on someone to finally get here and start our lives together when I know damn well that shit isn't happening anytime soon. I've been told many times I can do better, and why do I limit myself, I know and I don't know. I myself know that I can do better but what is it going to take for me to break this cycle of self inflicted pain.
The thing is people always assume that I'm afraid to be alone but how can that be if all along I've been " alone " for 6 yrs basically with the exception of 6 months when he lived with me... Otherwise I've been alone that entire time. I don't know, I'm just rambling I guess it feels better to get it out and I know I haven't written lately so I decided I should.
On a side note tonight is my sister's school bbq which I'm going to. Hopefully that'll be alright, they have draws and contests so maybe I'll win something.
Well I think thats it for today's entry.
In the past I had no interest in anyone else but "him" the thought never seemed to cross my mind.
I guess now because it's Summer and people are actually outside and doing things it's starting to bother me that I don't do anything really.
It irritates me that it's so hard to find good " girl " friends. I've always had a problem with that. As it is I have about 2. That's just not enough. I want " girls night out's " and all that.
Those are my best memories from back in highschool when things weren't so serious and I wasn't wasting my life away waiting on someone to finally get here and start our lives together when I know damn well that shit isn't happening anytime soon. I've been told many times I can do better, and why do I limit myself, I know and I don't know. I myself know that I can do better but what is it going to take for me to break this cycle of self inflicted pain.
The thing is people always assume that I'm afraid to be alone but how can that be if all along I've been " alone " for 6 yrs basically with the exception of 6 months when he lived with me... Otherwise I've been alone that entire time. I don't know, I'm just rambling I guess it feels better to get it out and I know I haven't written lately so I decided I should.
On a side note tonight is my sister's school bbq which I'm going to. Hopefully that'll be alright, they have draws and contests so maybe I'll win something.
Well I think thats it for today's entry.