(no subject)
Today I have an interview to cook at The Margarita At Pinecreek. I am quite nervous. I must get a haircut. That I am only slightly nervous about as it will probably contain the same number of prying questions but I will not be required to answer truthfully. Occasionally, when I am in the barber's chair, I make myself a winged cosmotron and tell the stylist so. I snarl and gnash out and tell her that I can grant her wishes but only if they involve sleeping with me. I tell her of my awesome adventures soaring from planet to planet, galaxy to galaxy, admiring Nebulas and crooked Sagitarius from a 3 dimensional perspective. I tell her that, due to my different nature, my fingers can quiver in 79 different directions and that usually results in her eyes glossing over in fear and excitement. And that is what winged cosmotrons do best: arouse you with their raw and downright terrifying sexual abilities. That and fly.
And when I see the stylist again at The Chapel Hills or Possibly The Citadel Mall I am Harvey Kietel from Bad Lieutenant. And she is confused. Because Kietel in that film is basically a non-winged cosmotron. No flying but the fear and the sex are quite in place. And I ask her out to review cell-phone plans with me. And she is too afraid to say no. So I pick her up at 8 and we decide (over some much needed light humor) that all cell-phone outlets are closed (which I was well aware of and in fact planned around). We go back to my Mother's place (she is fast asleep running on several ounces of Mescalin). I am now Ryan Reynolds from some Rom-Com he is yet to do. The stylist melts due to my great rays of charm and I lay her gently on my futon. I kiss her collar bone. My fingers run deep and slow over her hips and up her side. My lips dance up her neck and across her jaw-line. Fingers touch her lips and then roll down her chin, chest and rest on her tummy. I lightly kiss her lips and then press hard against them. We are in love. But then something awful happens: I begin to flicker in and out of being James Van-Der-Beek. And his unsure-teen fingers will fowl things up for certain. I try and hold on to Ryan thinking of such gems as 'Waiting', The Redux of 'Amatyville Horror', and 'Blade 3' but, alas, his passion is not evident in these films so I fall back into a vicious pit of Dawson.
And it all goes to shit from there.
Though, If I get this job (or even the haircut, for that matter) I'll need to celebrate. And I'll try to stay Ryan for as long as I can. Or at least the winged cosmotron. So I'll be calling all of you tonight.
-Many People. But Nic Right Now.
And when I see the stylist again at The Chapel Hills or Possibly The Citadel Mall I am Harvey Kietel from Bad Lieutenant. And she is confused. Because Kietel in that film is basically a non-winged cosmotron. No flying but the fear and the sex are quite in place. And I ask her out to review cell-phone plans with me. And she is too afraid to say no. So I pick her up at 8 and we decide (over some much needed light humor) that all cell-phone outlets are closed (which I was well aware of and in fact planned around). We go back to my Mother's place (she is fast asleep running on several ounces of Mescalin). I am now Ryan Reynolds from some Rom-Com he is yet to do. The stylist melts due to my great rays of charm and I lay her gently on my futon. I kiss her collar bone. My fingers run deep and slow over her hips and up her side. My lips dance up her neck and across her jaw-line. Fingers touch her lips and then roll down her chin, chest and rest on her tummy. I lightly kiss her lips and then press hard against them. We are in love. But then something awful happens: I begin to flicker in and out of being James Van-Der-Beek. And his unsure-teen fingers will fowl things up for certain. I try and hold on to Ryan thinking of such gems as 'Waiting', The Redux of 'Amatyville Horror', and 'Blade 3' but, alas, his passion is not evident in these films so I fall back into a vicious pit of Dawson.
And it all goes to shit from there.
Though, If I get this job (or even the haircut, for that matter) I'll need to celebrate. And I'll try to stay Ryan for as long as I can. Or at least the winged cosmotron. So I'll be calling all of you tonight.
-Many People. But Nic Right Now.