Conversation with LJ, FB and Twitter
earlier this year, I posted a conversation between myself and LJ
Singer is a barista at a coffee shop. It's mid afternoon on a rainy Thursday. She hears the bell jangle on the door, alerting her of a customer
Singer: Hi LJ!
LJ: *glum* hi. *shuffles to the counter*
Singer: The usual? *LJ nods head* So... what's up?
LJ: *clicks on favorites and points to "Facebook"*
Singer: Oh. You want to talk about it?
LJ: Not really. *clicks the close button on the favorites*
Singer: *hands LJ a cup of hot coffee and a muffin* Just let it out. You'll feel better.
Enter FB and Twitter, gabbing away like BFFs, finishing each other's sentences, giggling, wearing matching outfits.
Singer: Hi guys.
FB and Twitter ignore Singer and take a seat at LJ's favorite corner window spot
LJ: *groans, drops shoulders and shuffles to the back corner booth by the restrooms* They are so annoying!
Singer: *takes a seat across from LJ and reaches for its hand* Like chatty 14 year old girls, they are.
LJ: *grunts and rolls eyes* Thing is, now you can post your twitter updates directly on LJ. As if. So all those great posts about people's lives are reduced to:
"I'm in bathroom at Chili's. eww, it's so gross!"
"OMG! someone wrote Joan's name on the stall door!"
"leaving for home"
"at home"
"watching TV"
"come over!"
Do people even know how to communicate anymore? *LJ says this last statement loudly, glaring at Twitter and FB in the corner who are oblivious*
Singer: I hear ya, man. People come into the shop and they don't even see me anymore. They're just looking at their cell phones and giggling while waggling their thumbs and they just halfway look up and say "oh. venti" like I'm a kiosk or something. sucks.
LJ: don't I know it. I mean, I can't compete with that, you know? Pay for a web journal? Yeah, right. I only offer extra userpics, limited journal profiles and ad free sites for paid members. No apps, no comm updates, no games. Whatevs.
FB approaches Singer
FB: Status: Ordering a venti coffee.
Singer just stares at FB
FB: Status update: I want to ORDER A VENTI!!!!!
Singer to FB: I'm sorry, did you WANT something?
FB: *commenting to status update* guess I can't order at THIS coffee shop. Sheesh. Stupid barista is chatting with some weblog site. Whatevs.
Singer to FB: At this coffee shop, we talk like humans directly TO the humans. Try "can I order a venti, please?"
FB: *confused because that would be a really weird status update, fumbles around the FB page to find a place to say something intelligent. eventually finds the "notes" section but gives up because it's too hard to navigate*
Status update: UGH! Stupid barrista won't serve me my venti!
FB has requested to be friends with Singer. See 5 similar stories.
Twitter gets up and approaches FB, LJ and Singer, texting the whole distance, tripping over a chair, stumbling into the trash can but never looks up from the cell phone
Tweet: FB can't order at coffee shop!
Tweet: FB is mad!
Tweet: LJ is laughing!
Tweet: I want coffee too, damn it!
Tweet: leaving with FB
Tweet: storming out the door!
Tweet: damn, tripped over another effin' chair!
Tweet: F this! going to starbucks with FB
FB: status update: going to starbucks for wifi and coffee with Twitter. meet us there!
Twitter likes this
Singer to LJ: So... feel better?
LJ: MUCH!
singer and LJ spend the rest of the afternoon sharing meaningful life events with one another, being kind and curteous, using whole sentences with correct punctuation, commenting on one another's stories and thoroughly enjoying old-world style communication
Singer is a barista at a coffee shop. It's mid afternoon on a rainy Thursday. She hears the bell jangle on the door, alerting her of a customer
Singer: Hi LJ!
LJ: *glum* hi. *shuffles to the counter*
Singer: The usual? *LJ nods head* So... what's up?
LJ: *clicks on favorites and points to "Facebook"*
Singer: Oh. You want to talk about it?
LJ: Not really. *clicks the close button on the favorites*
Singer: *hands LJ a cup of hot coffee and a muffin* Just let it out. You'll feel better.
Enter FB and Twitter, gabbing away like BFFs, finishing each other's sentences, giggling, wearing matching outfits.
Singer: Hi guys.
FB and Twitter ignore Singer and take a seat at LJ's favorite corner window spot
LJ: *groans, drops shoulders and shuffles to the back corner booth by the restrooms* They are so annoying!
Singer: *takes a seat across from LJ and reaches for its hand* Like chatty 14 year old girls, they are.
LJ: *grunts and rolls eyes* Thing is, now you can post your twitter updates directly on LJ. As if. So all those great posts about people's lives are reduced to:
"I'm in bathroom at Chili's. eww, it's so gross!"
"OMG! someone wrote Joan's name on the stall door!"
"leaving for home"
"at home"
"watching TV"
"come over!"
Do people even know how to communicate anymore? *LJ says this last statement loudly, glaring at Twitter and FB in the corner who are oblivious*
Singer: I hear ya, man. People come into the shop and they don't even see me anymore. They're just looking at their cell phones and giggling while waggling their thumbs and they just halfway look up and say "oh. venti" like I'm a kiosk or something. sucks.
LJ: don't I know it. I mean, I can't compete with that, you know? Pay for a web journal? Yeah, right. I only offer extra userpics, limited journal profiles and ad free sites for paid members. No apps, no comm updates, no games. Whatevs.
FB approaches Singer
FB: Status: Ordering a venti coffee.
Singer just stares at FB
FB: Status update: I want to ORDER A VENTI!!!!!
Singer to FB: I'm sorry, did you WANT something?
FB: *commenting to status update* guess I can't order at THIS coffee shop. Sheesh. Stupid barista is chatting with some weblog site. Whatevs.
Singer to FB: At this coffee shop, we talk like humans directly TO the humans. Try "can I order a venti, please?"
FB: *confused because that would be a really weird status update, fumbles around the FB page to find a place to say something intelligent. eventually finds the "notes" section but gives up because it's too hard to navigate*
Status update: UGH! Stupid barrista won't serve me my venti!
FB has requested to be friends with Singer. See 5 similar stories.
Twitter gets up and approaches FB, LJ and Singer, texting the whole distance, tripping over a chair, stumbling into the trash can but never looks up from the cell phone
Tweet: FB can't order at coffee shop!
Tweet: FB is mad!
Tweet: LJ is laughing!
Tweet: I want coffee too, damn it!
Tweet: leaving with FB
Tweet: storming out the door!
Tweet: damn, tripped over another effin' chair!
Tweet: F this! going to starbucks with FB
FB: status update: going to starbucks for wifi and coffee with Twitter. meet us there!
Twitter likes this
Singer to LJ: So... feel better?
LJ: MUCH!
singer and LJ spend the rest of the afternoon sharing meaningful life events with one another, being kind and curteous, using whole sentences with correct punctuation, commenting on one another's stories and thoroughly enjoying old-world style communication