(no subject)
Tonight is the first time I've cried in awhile. I didn't cry after the chorus concert or the band concert or the last day of classes or my last high school play or prom or the senior barbecue or the band banquet or even graduation. No, I've been surprisingly unemotional over the last month or so. But looking at someone else's prom pictures, I got a little choked up.
It's really too bad that my senior year couldn't end on a high note, that I'm sitting here a week after graduation thinking about how only two people gave me their senior pictures and I was only invited to half a dozen graduation parties, when I thought I was acquainted with many more seniors than that.
Sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard to experience high school through someone else's eyes, by looking through the pictures, watching the teenage chick flicks, reading books. It makes me depressed and wistful, but I do it anyway. You know how sometimes a big group of people will pose for a picture for their friend to take? Sometimes I like to take a picture of the group of people too, just because I know they wouldn't all pose for me. So I take the picture and get the film back, and some of the people weren't even looking at my camera. I bet the other person's roll came out better.
Ever since I was in about fifth grade, I've had a very similar set of New Year's resolutions. Things like losing weight, getting a boyfriend, landing a lead in a musical. Hey, guess what? None of that ever really happened and it's all my fault because I really messed things up. My capability to feel like a complete and utter failure at times is outstanding. Oh yes, and in Other Things That Are Sad, my 13-year-old brother has more of a love life than I ever had.
It's really too bad that my senior year couldn't end on a high note, that I'm sitting here a week after graduation thinking about how only two people gave me their senior pictures and I was only invited to half a dozen graduation parties, when I thought I was acquainted with many more seniors than that.
Sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard to experience high school through someone else's eyes, by looking through the pictures, watching the teenage chick flicks, reading books. It makes me depressed and wistful, but I do it anyway. You know how sometimes a big group of people will pose for a picture for their friend to take? Sometimes I like to take a picture of the group of people too, just because I know they wouldn't all pose for me. So I take the picture and get the film back, and some of the people weren't even looking at my camera. I bet the other person's roll came out better.
Ever since I was in about fifth grade, I've had a very similar set of New Year's resolutions. Things like losing weight, getting a boyfriend, landing a lead in a musical. Hey, guess what? None of that ever really happened and it's all my fault because I really messed things up. My capability to feel like a complete and utter failure at times is outstanding. Oh yes, and in Other Things That Are Sad, my 13-year-old brother has more of a love life than I ever had.