(no subject)
I'm exhausted. Over seven days and six nights, I went to six colleges, nine classes, two states, sat in a car for roughly 26 hours, and slept in five different places.
Right now I'm undecided between Skidmore and Cornell. I liked Skidmore a lot when I went to the accepted candidates day today. But they really didn't give me enough financial aid, and I'd need to take out loans to somehow make up for the $8000 a year that we don't have. Skidmore is also pretty small, and it probably wasn't that hard for me to get into. Cornell is huge. I didn't like it that much when I visited, but I guess it's ok. They sent me a letter today offering me more money. It's an Ivy League school. They have a marching band. And a really good astrophysics program. And an astronomical observatory on campus.
I could be in a big school or a small school. 300 people in a class compared to 30. Limitless to limiting. Money, no money. Academically challenging or comfort zone. Ugh, I don't know. This is definitely the hardest decision I've had to make. I wish it was a no-brainer. I wish I'd gotten into any of my top-choice schools, or at least schools I was decently excited about. And I keep thinking...what if I'd done better on the SATs? What if I'd stuck with that extra AP class this year? What if I went to a private high school? What if my family didn't need financial aid? Where would I be then?
This just...sucks. I'm so afraid about fucking up my future.
I don't know how I'm going to get everything done this weekend. I have to read about 100 more pages in this boring AP English prep book, take a sample exam, finish Mrs. Dalloway, do a bunch of crap with that, rewrite my essay outline, write a critical essay, do some AP Calc stuff, practice for voice, find and learn a song for show choir, work on the play for play production, learn the solo for chorus, and attend two seders. Oh yeah, and decide where I'll be going for the next four years.
Oh man, I'm so screwed. I'm just going to sit here and cry now. Ok, bye!
Right now I'm undecided between Skidmore and Cornell. I liked Skidmore a lot when I went to the accepted candidates day today. But they really didn't give me enough financial aid, and I'd need to take out loans to somehow make up for the $8000 a year that we don't have. Skidmore is also pretty small, and it probably wasn't that hard for me to get into. Cornell is huge. I didn't like it that much when I visited, but I guess it's ok. They sent me a letter today offering me more money. It's an Ivy League school. They have a marching band. And a really good astrophysics program. And an astronomical observatory on campus.
I could be in a big school or a small school. 300 people in a class compared to 30. Limitless to limiting. Money, no money. Academically challenging or comfort zone. Ugh, I don't know. This is definitely the hardest decision I've had to make. I wish it was a no-brainer. I wish I'd gotten into any of my top-choice schools, or at least schools I was decently excited about. And I keep thinking...what if I'd done better on the SATs? What if I'd stuck with that extra AP class this year? What if I went to a private high school? What if my family didn't need financial aid? Where would I be then?
This just...sucks. I'm so afraid about fucking up my future.
I don't know how I'm going to get everything done this weekend. I have to read about 100 more pages in this boring AP English prep book, take a sample exam, finish Mrs. Dalloway, do a bunch of crap with that, rewrite my essay outline, write a critical essay, do some AP Calc stuff, practice for voice, find and learn a song for show choir, work on the play for play production, learn the solo for chorus, and attend two seders. Oh yeah, and decide where I'll be going for the next four years.
Oh man, I'm so screwed. I'm just going to sit here and cry now. Ok, bye!