Long time, no see
Yes, I'm sure everyone is just DYING to know how my life has been going.
Well, about a week and a half ago I found out that I got rejected from Yale. No, not deferred, rejected. (If I'd gotten deferred, wouldn't I just say that?) It was a bit devastating I guess, because for two months I'd been picturing myself at Yale and it basically felt like my future had disappeared. And I looked at all the other schools I'm applying to and decided that they were all either too close or too small. One of the hardest things was going to school and having to tell people about it. Some people were supportive ("Well, Yale sucks anyway!"). But I know a lot of people were probably glad ("Jen's so stuck-up, she actually thought she could get into Yale.") In fact, this kid Parid bragged to people about how he called the Yale Admissions office so he'd know when they released their early-action decisions. Lovely. And he will most likely be our valedictorian, folks! Well to all those who wanted to see me get rejected, congratulations! I've been dealing with this "Jen thinks she's better than everyone else, Jen studies all the time, blah blah blah" crap since I was in elementary school and I can't wait until it's over. Yes, I get good grades in school, no, I don't study all the time. And if you ever took the time to get to know me, you'd realize that I'm actually a fairly humble person who enjoys helping and receiving help from her classmates. Wow, so that vent came out of nowhere. What I'm trying to say is that I got really stressed out and depressed, because of the Yale thing, and college applications, and schoolwork, and friend (or lack thereof) problems. I finally managed to get out of my slump and move on. My mom called the Yale Admissions Office because she wanted to know why I didn't get in. I was a little mad when she did that, because I can think of several reasons why I wouldn't get in. They wouldn't tell her anyway. But based on what people have told me, I can make an educated guess that I didn't get in because I'm not a rich white kid or a poor black kid. And although I have three relatives who attended Yale, it doesn't matter, because they were poor Jews who were accepted because Yale had a quota for Jewish students at the time. They weren't super-rich people who gave a lot of money to the school. Isn't rationalizing fun? So that's the end of that story.
I managed to get through the winter concert, which I'd been really stressed about. I sang a solo, and it was pretty good I guess. Last winter concert EVAH.
Now I would like to share a passage from a friends-only entry, written a few weeks ago. Enjoy!
"Something funny/pathetic happened yesterday. After school I was at my locker and Brian stopped by to talk to me. This was kind of out of the ordinary because we barely ever talk anymore. So I was a little excited. Within 5 SECONDS Kitty walked over, interrupted us, and started talking to Brian about something. Immediately, Adriana, Erica, and Sheryl walked over and also started talking to Brian. I started to walk away, and Brian kind of tugged me back. I muttered, "Hey, this is kind of funny but then it's not." Then I walked away. At this point, all these people are crowded around MY locker, talking to Brian. What the fuck?
It was so perfect that it could have been staged. This is my point. This is why Brian and I aren't friends anymore. Because his other friends always swarm him and I'm left on the outside. Hmmmm. It was funny how the whole situation was such a perfect illustration of what destroyed our friendship. But it's also sad when I think about all the good times we had when we were friends and how it will probably never be like that again. Sigh."
I think the people who I kind of have a grudge against know who they are. I don't hate you; it's more of a jealously thing. I think that it's somewhat understandable though. Ok, most of you have at least a handful of friends who you talk on the phone with or hang out with. Well I don't. Before, the only people I hung out with were Maggie and Brian (and sometimes people associated with them). Now I basically just hang out with Maggie. And I like Maggie and all, but she has a lot of other friends who aren't really in my circle of acquaintances. So this makes things very difficult. I'm not trying to point a finger at anyone, but please think about the friendship that was most likely destroyed before you call me a bad person.
I just figured I'd write that, with the New Year coming up and everything...
Christmas was pretty good. My favorite presents were definitely a kick-ass straightening iron and an MP3 player. Now my hair is soft and thin-looking and STRAIGHT! It's like normal people's hair!
I got a little depressed thinking about how I wasn't celebrating Christmas with a big family or a bunch of friends or a significant other. Really, the only people I exchange gifts with are my mom and my brother. This kind of has to do with the fact that we're the only ones in my family who celebrate Christmas. But even for Hannukah, there isn't like a big family get together or anything. I'm still fortunate for the things I have, but I just wish the holidays were less lonely. I guess I just have to accept that Christmas and Thanksgiving will never really be the way I envision them. Oh well.
In other news, I'm free this entire week, except for two doctor's appointments, a voice lesson, 8 tons of English homework, and college applications. So if anyone wants to do something, I'd love to tear myself away from my scholarly obligations!
Happy Holidays.
Well, about a week and a half ago I found out that I got rejected from Yale. No, not deferred, rejected. (If I'd gotten deferred, wouldn't I just say that?) It was a bit devastating I guess, because for two months I'd been picturing myself at Yale and it basically felt like my future had disappeared. And I looked at all the other schools I'm applying to and decided that they were all either too close or too small. One of the hardest things was going to school and having to tell people about it. Some people were supportive ("Well, Yale sucks anyway!"). But I know a lot of people were probably glad ("Jen's so stuck-up, she actually thought she could get into Yale.") In fact, this kid Parid bragged to people about how he called the Yale Admissions office so he'd know when they released their early-action decisions. Lovely. And he will most likely be our valedictorian, folks! Well to all those who wanted to see me get rejected, congratulations! I've been dealing with this "Jen thinks she's better than everyone else, Jen studies all the time, blah blah blah" crap since I was in elementary school and I can't wait until it's over. Yes, I get good grades in school, no, I don't study all the time. And if you ever took the time to get to know me, you'd realize that I'm actually a fairly humble person who enjoys helping and receiving help from her classmates. Wow, so that vent came out of nowhere. What I'm trying to say is that I got really stressed out and depressed, because of the Yale thing, and college applications, and schoolwork, and friend (or lack thereof) problems. I finally managed to get out of my slump and move on. My mom called the Yale Admissions Office because she wanted to know why I didn't get in. I was a little mad when she did that, because I can think of several reasons why I wouldn't get in. They wouldn't tell her anyway. But based on what people have told me, I can make an educated guess that I didn't get in because I'm not a rich white kid or a poor black kid. And although I have three relatives who attended Yale, it doesn't matter, because they were poor Jews who were accepted because Yale had a quota for Jewish students at the time. They weren't super-rich people who gave a lot of money to the school. Isn't rationalizing fun? So that's the end of that story.
I managed to get through the winter concert, which I'd been really stressed about. I sang a solo, and it was pretty good I guess. Last winter concert EVAH.
Now I would like to share a passage from a friends-only entry, written a few weeks ago. Enjoy!
"Something funny/pathetic happened yesterday. After school I was at my locker and Brian stopped by to talk to me. This was kind of out of the ordinary because we barely ever talk anymore. So I was a little excited. Within 5 SECONDS Kitty walked over, interrupted us, and started talking to Brian about something. Immediately, Adriana, Erica, and Sheryl walked over and also started talking to Brian. I started to walk away, and Brian kind of tugged me back. I muttered, "Hey, this is kind of funny but then it's not." Then I walked away. At this point, all these people are crowded around MY locker, talking to Brian. What the fuck?
It was so perfect that it could have been staged. This is my point. This is why Brian and I aren't friends anymore. Because his other friends always swarm him and I'm left on the outside. Hmmmm. It was funny how the whole situation was such a perfect illustration of what destroyed our friendship. But it's also sad when I think about all the good times we had when we were friends and how it will probably never be like that again. Sigh."
I think the people who I kind of have a grudge against know who they are. I don't hate you; it's more of a jealously thing. I think that it's somewhat understandable though. Ok, most of you have at least a handful of friends who you talk on the phone with or hang out with. Well I don't. Before, the only people I hung out with were Maggie and Brian (and sometimes people associated with them). Now I basically just hang out with Maggie. And I like Maggie and all, but she has a lot of other friends who aren't really in my circle of acquaintances. So this makes things very difficult. I'm not trying to point a finger at anyone, but please think about the friendship that was most likely destroyed before you call me a bad person.
I just figured I'd write that, with the New Year coming up and everything...
Christmas was pretty good. My favorite presents were definitely a kick-ass straightening iron and an MP3 player. Now my hair is soft and thin-looking and STRAIGHT! It's like normal people's hair!
I got a little depressed thinking about how I wasn't celebrating Christmas with a big family or a bunch of friends or a significant other. Really, the only people I exchange gifts with are my mom and my brother. This kind of has to do with the fact that we're the only ones in my family who celebrate Christmas. But even for Hannukah, there isn't like a big family get together or anything. I'm still fortunate for the things I have, but I just wish the holidays were less lonely. I guess I just have to accept that Christmas and Thanksgiving will never really be the way I envision them. Oh well.
In other news, I'm free this entire week, except for two doctor's appointments, a voice lesson, 8 tons of English homework, and college applications. So if anyone wants to do something, I'd love to tear myself away from my scholarly obligations!
Happy Holidays.