(no subject)
tonights going to fucking suck.
the plaza was ok. i walked up with molly and we had a good talk about hardcore shows versus emo shows. it was...interesting i suppose. i think it is true that i do like to listen to emo more than hardcore, but hardcore shows are better because hardcore bands have more energy and interact more with the people watching than emo bands do. the moshing, and the crowdsurfing, that stuff really makes the show good. and emo bands just don't have that stuff.
we met up with tom and jeremy at the plaza. and i got sicilian pizza for the first time since the summer, so that brought back some good memories. it reminded me of when i used to only have mike and jeremy and we'd all hang out every day and we never fought and we never had plans and how we were awesome. and how everythings changed, and now that i think about it, i'm not even sure if it changed for the good. i mean, now i have fights constantly with friends (mainly jeremy), and my parents have actually started letting me do less things, and they've started giving me more shit about things, and i think way too much about depression now. i used to be so carefree and stuff, and my parents didn't really care what i did, and i was so happy, and now i'm always depressed and my parents don't ever say nice things anymore and are always on my case about what i'm doing. and i don't know. i think about the summer and how awesome it was, and i realize that i'm probably never going to be that happy again. and i wish i could just go back in time and find out what i did that was so bad and screwed everything up.
mike came to the plaza, and then loren came, and we all walked home. molly was late, and i was like 5 minutes late, and of course since my parents MOTHER FUCKING SUCK they got mad and yelled at me for a while. "why can't you just do these simple things we tell you to do?" "we give you so many privelages, why can't you just follow the rules for once?" that bullshit.
i was going to go to matts, but my parents made me feel so fucking bad about it i'm not.
the plaza was ok. i walked up with molly and we had a good talk about hardcore shows versus emo shows. it was...interesting i suppose. i think it is true that i do like to listen to emo more than hardcore, but hardcore shows are better because hardcore bands have more energy and interact more with the people watching than emo bands do. the moshing, and the crowdsurfing, that stuff really makes the show good. and emo bands just don't have that stuff.
we met up with tom and jeremy at the plaza. and i got sicilian pizza for the first time since the summer, so that brought back some good memories. it reminded me of when i used to only have mike and jeremy and we'd all hang out every day and we never fought and we never had plans and how we were awesome. and how everythings changed, and now that i think about it, i'm not even sure if it changed for the good. i mean, now i have fights constantly with friends (mainly jeremy), and my parents have actually started letting me do less things, and they've started giving me more shit about things, and i think way too much about depression now. i used to be so carefree and stuff, and my parents didn't really care what i did, and i was so happy, and now i'm always depressed and my parents don't ever say nice things anymore and are always on my case about what i'm doing. and i don't know. i think about the summer and how awesome it was, and i realize that i'm probably never going to be that happy again. and i wish i could just go back in time and find out what i did that was so bad and screwed everything up.
mike came to the plaza, and then loren came, and we all walked home. molly was late, and i was like 5 minutes late, and of course since my parents MOTHER FUCKING SUCK they got mad and yelled at me for a while. "why can't you just do these simple things we tell you to do?" "we give you so many privelages, why can't you just follow the rules for once?" that bullshit.
i was going to go to matts, but my parents made me feel so fucking bad about it i'm not.