(no subject)
maybe I seem really unhappy, but I'm okay. just stressed out.
today I was talking to my dad, I was talking to him about how I've noticed, among people I know who have just graduated college how hard it seems for them to find a job. and he told me that if I really wanted a job and financial security, I should go to nursing school and become a nurse because, everyone needs nurses. but if I became a nurse I think I would be a really unhappy person because that's not what I want to do in life at all. I know what I want to do in life and it's be a writer. then my dad said that people usually aren't able to do what they want in life, and choosing something that will make you financially independent and secure is a major part of growing up. it's not anything I didn't know before, but the way he said it, it just made me feel so heartbroken and sad.
I'm also so stressed out about colleges. I'm not sure if I want to apply to Kenyon early, because although I really love it I'm not absolutely, hands-down positive it's my first choice. but I'm sick and stressed out and I really think it would be best for me emotionally and physically to apply somewhere early decision (&hopefully get in), so that whole load can be taken off of me. but my parents are not backing me in a decision I make "because I'm too lazy to fill out other paperwork" or because "I'm too impatient." uggh. also, knowing myself, even if I give myself time to make a decision by not applying anywhere early, when the time comes to finally decide what college to go to, I'm not going to be able to decide anyway. I'm an extremely indecisive person in general. oh, the other part of this whole conundrum is that mr. levine wants an answer by tomorrow. TOMORROW.
someone smart tell me what to do.
mm, I wish I could be a little kid again. baby pictures are my new passion in life, basically.
