There are things I will never fully understand...
Why is it that when people you love are in trouble they come to you ask for your opinion and your help and then turn around an fckn ignore everything you have said and done???
They say your thoughts and action count or matter because you are the one that has always been there, and always will be right? And maybe thats the issue, maybe I should be there next time. I am so angry and hurt and feel slightly betrayed and maybe Im being dramatic, but how many times can you watch someone you care about walk right back into a dangerously unhealthy situation with the only explanation being I love him I cant leave. For christ sake you have kids to worry about if your not worried about yourself. Werent you the one who told me that you have been feeling exactly like you felt before your breakdown....and shoudlnt that tell you something? Is that what you want for you life, a circle of okay, not so okay, horrible, almost having a nervous breakdown, he get his shit together of like a month and it starts all over again?
Why do you drag me in everytime you feel like you need out? Is it because you know that I know thats the best thing for you to be out and you know I will be your biggest champion? Well guess what I dont know if I can do that anymore... I love you and the girls like you were my family, fck that you are my family but this hurts to much. Watching you destroy yourself slowly werr fckn 30 for christ sake its all just begining and your throwing it all away for what? For some twisted sense of what love is, beleive me baby that aint it. Just like it wasnt it with the first scumbag who beat you, and I know he would never physically hurt you but what he does is no different. He might as well hit you at least then people from the outside could see what the hell was going on...Pill addictions are hard to see unless you in the middle of it. How many time will you have to make up excuses to the pharmacist to refill a prescription of yours, one you have a valid reason for taking but done have anymore of because he found your hiding spot? What the hell kind of a life is this G?
Your text message last night broke my heart, I love you too but I dont know if I can forgive you this...maybe in time, but right now I am so angry with you. I wish so badly pops was still here he would have kicked your ass and knocked some serious sense into you. He would have killed Joe for the shit he pulled last week, and he wouldnt have allowed your parents to get involved and have you try to work things out yet again....they have no idea whats really happening!
Till next time my friend, I hope your well and that things work out Im sorry I cant be around to see how it plays out, its just to damn hard for me.
They say your thoughts and action count or matter because you are the one that has always been there, and always will be right? And maybe thats the issue, maybe I should be there next time. I am so angry and hurt and feel slightly betrayed and maybe Im being dramatic, but how many times can you watch someone you care about walk right back into a dangerously unhealthy situation with the only explanation being I love him I cant leave. For christ sake you have kids to worry about if your not worried about yourself. Werent you the one who told me that you have been feeling exactly like you felt before your breakdown....and shoudlnt that tell you something? Is that what you want for you life, a circle of okay, not so okay, horrible, almost having a nervous breakdown, he get his shit together of like a month and it starts all over again?
Why do you drag me in everytime you feel like you need out? Is it because you know that I know thats the best thing for you to be out and you know I will be your biggest champion? Well guess what I dont know if I can do that anymore... I love you and the girls like you were my family, fck that you are my family but this hurts to much. Watching you destroy yourself slowly werr fckn 30 for christ sake its all just begining and your throwing it all away for what? For some twisted sense of what love is, beleive me baby that aint it. Just like it wasnt it with the first scumbag who beat you, and I know he would never physically hurt you but what he does is no different. He might as well hit you at least then people from the outside could see what the hell was going on...Pill addictions are hard to see unless you in the middle of it. How many time will you have to make up excuses to the pharmacist to refill a prescription of yours, one you have a valid reason for taking but done have anymore of because he found your hiding spot? What the hell kind of a life is this G?
Your text message last night broke my heart, I love you too but I dont know if I can forgive you this...maybe in time, but right now I am so angry with you. I wish so badly pops was still here he would have kicked your ass and knocked some serious sense into you. He would have killed Joe for the shit he pulled last week, and he wouldnt have allowed your parents to get involved and have you try to work things out yet again....they have no idea whats really happening!
Till next time my friend, I hope your well and that things work out Im sorry I cant be around to see how it plays out, its just to damn hard for me.