(no subject)
christmas was spent in my typical holiday fashion-- staying at home. but this time it didn't feel as normal or comfortable. it's like a bathetic fall after a build-up to a perfect climax. so why did i let my frustrations get the better of me the previous night? i have always thought that i am a logical and rational person who knows what's good for myself and others-- at least those who matter. but this time, i ruined what was potentially my best christmas eve yet, probably the last one which i can spend as a teenager. unfortunately, i might not be my only victim.
and then there i was, suddenly finding myself sitting in my underwear, hating myself like a damned fool. i have never had a longer christmas eve. when everyone else is either partying away at a bar, a friend's place or in the streets, i was accompanied by my regret. sometimes i laugh at myself for being so silly. but if i really was silly, isn't what i passed up some excuse for me to be so?
new year's coming up next. i don't deserve anything this new year. i should just lock myself in and come up with my new year's mock-resolutions. one item i should add would be to be more mature. easier said than done. but then again, i shouldn't give up just yet. because if there is one thing i can take away from this unpleasant experience, it is to know how to cherish what i love.
and then there i was, suddenly finding myself sitting in my underwear, hating myself like a damned fool. i have never had a longer christmas eve. when everyone else is either partying away at a bar, a friend's place or in the streets, i was accompanied by my regret. sometimes i laugh at myself for being so silly. but if i really was silly, isn't what i passed up some excuse for me to be so?
new year's coming up next. i don't deserve anything this new year. i should just lock myself in and come up with my new year's mock-resolutions. one item i should add would be to be more mature. easier said than done. but then again, i shouldn't give up just yet. because if there is one thing i can take away from this unpleasant experience, it is to know how to cherish what i love.