Perfect, perfect like we used to be.
I do suffer from anorexia, as in every time I look in the mirror, I see a fat person. (Who is not my brother? Oh zing!) Whenever I go out to eat, I binge. I love stuffing food into my piehole. I certainly am not going to waste valuable money not eating everything on my plate and getting refills and sampling whatever my friends are eating.
But when I am home or alone, I forget about eating. I feel too lazy to cook. Half the day goes by before I realize I haven't eaten anything. But I don't care. Whatever keeps me from getting chubby like the rest of my family. Something that I can finally control, when everything else in my life is impossible to control.
I work hard to be beautiful and perfect, am still working at it. I hate being criticized even more than I hate genocide. I hate being teased, even if I know people don't mean it. I stopped talking to people, so they won't hear me say something stupid. I stopped going out, so that no one would tease me about my cheap clothes or my ugly hairstyle or the fact that I haven't bothered to get contacts yet.
Today's songs...
Bloodhound Gang - I Hope You Die: the best ballad I have ever heard, the story comes full circle.
Finch - Letters to You: an alt-rock emo band, but this is a great song, I promise.
Paramore - Whoa: from an older album, spunky girl rock
Voxtrot - Raised by Wolves: nice soothing alt rock or whatever you kids call this music nowadays
I am Ghost - Crossing the River Styx: A very cool gothic choral piece that's all creepy and shit.
Anberlin - Dismantle. Repair: one of my favorites from their Cities album, all hardcore and shit. I suck at describing music.
Something different...
My latest commission. See, I draw something other than Hetalia! Only took me a month. I drew her neck too long and shoulders a bit narrow and overall, the color is washed-out and shitty, but that last part is because I don't know how to paint and also gouache isn't as shiny as watercolor. It's uhh... Queen Isabella of Spain... from the Fountain movie.
I am a bit frightened of working in a pharmacy in south Texas. Gangs and cartels and people forcing you to steal medicine with guns pointed at your head. Not that north Texas is much better, the pharmacy I was working at was almost robbed at gunpoint, too.
Ah well, if I die, you all will remember me as a hero, right? That's the way an American citizen should die. Heroically.
But when I am home or alone, I forget about eating. I feel too lazy to cook. Half the day goes by before I realize I haven't eaten anything. But I don't care. Whatever keeps me from getting chubby like the rest of my family. Something that I can finally control, when everything else in my life is impossible to control.
I work hard to be beautiful and perfect, am still working at it. I hate being criticized even more than I hate genocide. I hate being teased, even if I know people don't mean it. I stopped talking to people, so they won't hear me say something stupid. I stopped going out, so that no one would tease me about my cheap clothes or my ugly hairstyle or the fact that I haven't bothered to get contacts yet.
Today's songs...
Bloodhound Gang - I Hope You Die: the best ballad I have ever heard, the story comes full circle.
Finch - Letters to You: an alt-rock emo band, but this is a great song, I promise.
Paramore - Whoa: from an older album, spunky girl rock
Voxtrot - Raised by Wolves: nice soothing alt rock or whatever you kids call this music nowadays
I am Ghost - Crossing the River Styx: A very cool gothic choral piece that's all creepy and shit.
Anberlin - Dismantle. Repair: one of my favorites from their Cities album, all hardcore and shit. I suck at describing music.
Something different...
My latest commission. See, I draw something other than Hetalia! Only took me a month. I drew her neck too long and shoulders a bit narrow and overall, the color is washed-out and shitty, but that last part is because I don't know how to paint and also gouache isn't as shiny as watercolor. It's uhh... Queen Isabella of Spain... from the Fountain movie.
I am a bit frightened of working in a pharmacy in south Texas. Gangs and cartels and people forcing you to steal medicine with guns pointed at your head. Not that north Texas is much better, the pharmacy I was working at was almost robbed at gunpoint, too.
Ah well, if I die, you all will remember me as a hero, right? That's the way an American citizen should die. Heroically.