This Path Has Lost Direction [Sam/Dean NC-17]

[insomniacs_home]

Title: This Path Has Lost Direction
Author: vampire_heart/insomniacs_home
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,468
Warnings: Slash.
AN: Set during Season 2, so spoilers but…honestly? What am I spoiling?
Summary: A walk through Season 2 and the developments in Sam's relationship with Dean.
Master List of Fics

Thank you to deansdemongirl for pointing out a few things to me.

Comments

[deansdemongirl]

Haven't read the whole thing yet, I hope you are really ok with con-crit.

"The next time Dean touched him was to punch him. Right across the jaw and Sam was left reeling. Bringing up Dad always got Dean emotional, more so now that he was gone."

Since Dean is the only noun present in the first sentence it reads as if Dean punched himself. In the last sentence your use of the word he refers back to the last noun which is Dean. That makes it say that Dean is gone.

I suggest:
The next time Dean touched Sam was to punch him. Right across the jaw and he was left reeling. Bringing up Dad always got Dean emotional, more so now that dad was gone.

"But when Dean finally opened but, on a back road out of Greenville, Illinois, Sam was left with nothing to say."

You need to remove the word 'but' in both instances to give this more impact.

I suggest:
When Dean finally opened to up Sam, on a back road out of Greenville, Illinois, he was left with nothing to say that would reach into the emotional pain that Dean was lost to.

"After everything with Andy had happened Dean kissed him again."

Ok this is a bit confusing, sounds like Dean kissed Andy.

I suggest:
After everything with Andy had happened, Sam found himself being kissed by Dean again.

"Finding out that Dean had keep secrets,"

I think you mean kept secrets or do you mean that Dean had to keep secrets?

Ok that's it. Let me know if you are ok with this and I should continue. If not. Thanks for the nice fic, it is a good story.

[torncorpse]

I am totally okay with Con-Crit, I need it since I no longer have my beta to beat me about the head over this stuff. So I thank you, and if there is more, please give it to me.