(no subject)
Monday, May 30, 2005
ok. seems my last many posts have been... not happy?
hmmm. well. we will see about this one. i hope to be happy.
i'm sick. ok not a good start.
i've been reading less since starting work.
however, i did start on my 'c.s. lewis on love' book.
talked the issue that love does not let faults go.
faithful are the wounds of a friend.
i don't feel like dealing with all my dealings.
listening to billy joel, glass house, can make a chore, like cleaning out the gutters... a lot of fun. a mean. a lot of fun. well. at least a lot better. billy joel is fun music. so is dashboard. i love him.
speaking of good music. my parents gave me an early birthday present. (really early).
a cd player for the car. woot. music. in the car. yep.
hands down this is the best day i can... ever remember... ever remember.
(ok, not really, but i like that song)
today was beach baptism. i am burnt. still going to siesta key tomorrow (yesh!)
oh maybe it was the best day i can ever remember... for the summer at least.
I SAW GRACIE!!! WOOT!!!
about time. and gonna hang out at the beach with her tomorrow.
i had an idea. now i have a better idea. but it's taking longer then i expected.
but i have not forgotten.
rachael lampa... sucks. broke rules. demanded too much. but she gave bff rachel a free shirt.
so if nothing else, that was sweet of her.
though i will go down as the boy that had to continuely signal her to shut up and sing.
four months ago i decided i would not have friend of conveniance anymore.
nor friends of circumstance. i refuse. and thinking... i'm beginning to think i'm there again.
i don't want that.
dashboard. i love him. but i wonder... what woman did that to him?
i mean. is a one man really THAT bitter. hmmm
i still love it. maybe he is that bitter.i guess i could understand.
i'm gonna watch ducktales.
*dashboard.*
vindicated. i am selfish. i am wrong.
i am right. i swear i'm right.
swear i knew it all along
i am flawed
but i am cleaning up so well.
i am seeing in my now
the things you swore you saw yourself
Thursday, May 26, 2005
one month.
come what may.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Currently Playing
The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most
By Dashboard Confessional
see related
last night. windows down. screaming with this cd.
looking through pictures.
silence can kill.
i'm a moron.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
am i the duke?
I will wait for you forever
if you would just ask me
I thought that I could change you
but you changed me
but it doesn't feel right
holding someone else's hand
together on phone lines
and living at two opposite ends
it scares me to think that you could find takers
other than me and better than me
Monday, May 16, 2005
and i'm done. with day one.
so. a week or so ago matt and john ate dinner with my family. my *entire* family. seems when friends meet my fam, its always two, and it's never just my immediate family. no. my aunt and grand parents as well. awww. i love my fam though. so matt and john got to meet my family. yeah. fun times. and then we entertained sarah as she packed. it was fun.
i got to say goodbye to jesse and hug her goodbye. this made me one happy individual. we packed it all up into the rental truck (the way the futon was positioned... it looked like we had goliath's carcass in it). apprently the highlight was tami speaking german, spanish, and english all in one sentance. yeah. for me it was lying in the grass with tami and just talking for a while. i'm gonna miss my cousin.
i saw the phantom for the first time. amazign. just makes me love the music more.
on the way home we stopped by these discount bookstores. i got amazing books for really cheep. Strongs Exhaustive Concordance. C.S. Lewis on Joy. C.S. Lewis on Love. Sacred Romance by John Eldridge. The Visitation by Frank Peretti (now i have my own copy!!). Black by Ted Dekker. and a few others... all for thirty dollars. amazing!!
speaking of ted dekker. i finished Three. a-freakin'-mazing!! i did not see that coming. i mean. guys. read it. read it. read it. but don't read it if you've moved your bed next to the window... and forget to close the blinds... and it's 4 in the morning. yeah. don't read it then. but read it. it's amazing.
yes. i've re-arranged my room. i seem to do so at least once a year. my aunt says it's never the same twice since she's known me. i also fixed my light switch problem. it's now lighted by christmas lights attatched to a power strip attatched to my wall. so yeah. now that i've bored you.
day one at sbbc complete. and may the rumors fly concerning me and rachel. lol.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Currently Reading
Three
By Ted Dekker
see relatednever look through notes and cards at 3.00.
when you think you're ok.
you'll discover...
you're not.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
junk. nothing but. anbesol bottle. still full. then a tube. tiny plastic ninjas. the coveted black ninja. picture frames. one of kathy. one of dave black. all friends lost. a picture of the pinheads. i'll keep this one. a picture frame entitled "friends" given to me by joe and christina. i loved them. seemed fitting to hold a picture of girls. heather's friends. three of the six girls i can't stand. a wallet sized picture key chain. i'll sell this on ebay. someone will buy it. i told them to. name tags from old youth events. three and one half floppy discs. no comp i own uses these anymore. scrap book material coming from everywhere. a picture from my sixteenth birthday party. heather jones is in it. she told me she liked me that night. two week later she dated kevin. i had forgotten this till i saw this picture. maybe i had suppressed it. a bleach pen. a electronic hotel key from some trip taken long ago. no reason to exist in my room. yet it does. countless theater junk. posters. programs. a 'kiss me kate' glass. a sailors hat with my name on it. my dromio of syracuse shirt. a crush bottle. the only one i've ever recieved... junior year of highschool. should throw it away. a can of stir fry. this has to stay. knex. the g.i.joe military fort. mc donalds toys. stolen. countless posters from childhood. the lion king. still not out of it's packing. maybe it's worth something. a straw cowboy hat from.. something. probably involved eddie. that's why the ninjas stay. my 'high honors' cords from highschool. my 'silver chord' for having 250 hours of community service. why is it in my room? a gel watch that girls wear. i love this watch. a circular peice of two by four. cut out making the jail cell. the roof from our kiss me kate set. news paper articles of every kind. stickers of bands. patches. a backpack with ska-checks made with white out. a chained wallet. a studded braclet. a hacky-sack held together by a staple. an eyor key chain that broke. memorabilia. junk. it's time to purge.
my name is packrat.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
ok. so i am home. for about an hour. crap fills my room.
more to come on the events of the last few days.
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it say
Come back to me, and forgive everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day