(no subject)
"Do you think we'll have off tomorrow?"
"...We can only hope..."
I remember sitting at the head of his bed, my fingers tangling in the shades to get a better look at the snow when I asked him. I only remember those two lines distinctly, simply because I was so centered at that moment. We talked about little things that night, while people filtered in and out of his room, going downstairs, excited about the snow.
We weren't the closest of friends, but we were friends. Maybe that would have changed had we more time. But what I loved about our friendship was how simple we were with it. We didn't have to talk constantly. We didn't that night in his room, we didn't always when we were alone at the Table together. Just the two of us reading our newspapers, making comments, or simply exchanging smiles over the tops as we read them. We were just comfortable, comfortable silences, comfortable small talk, comfortable sharing talk. He always was a kindred spirit for me, his hugs were always representative of safety, warmth, and caring. I don't find that with alot of people, but I found it with him. He never made me awkward because of his honesty, from day one, I knew he'd be my friend...
And that night the whole group was just on. Being silly, being friends. We put on our 'war paint' snowflakes and did a dance for the gods...even if it didn't work...
We were all just so together that night. The tape says it all...
~*~*~*~*~
I can't sleep. Went to bed at 1, woke up every half hour or so until 5something, and then I couldn't even phase in and out anymore. It might be the new meds I'm on for my sinuses... It might be me thinking too much, like the memory that kept playing in my head so much that I just had to write it out.
So I sat on the end of my bed... I tangled my fingers into my shades... and watched the sun start to rise.
Even Philadelphia is peaceful then... and I felt relaxed again, like I did that night on Matt's bed. Just comfortable, simple. Sad...but...
He's here.