i hate me
so as most everyone knows by now lis and i were in a car accident...a relatively bad accident...i say relatively with a grain of salt as both cars are basically totaled but everyone is alive and well for the most part...as of yet the only people who seem to care about my well-being enough to inquire as to my health are josh and jeff...both whom i thank deeply for their concern...not that that matters...
i want to apologize to all involved...i'm so terribly sorry and i think about it everyday all the time...i'm especially sorry to lisa, whom i never want to hurt...ever...i can't forgive myself for hurting her...i didn't mean to and i did so i am sorry...
the accident was my fault...i had planned on not drinking very much...we played beer pong and that and maybe a shot or two was all i planned on drinking before driving lis home keeping in mind i planned to wait and enjoy myself before being safe to drive...unbeknownst to myself the punch at this party was spiked with everclear, which i have never drank before and never had any intention of doing so...i don't like the idea of ingesting an intoxicant that someone i don't know made in their basement...unfortunately when i asked for something to drink other than beer i was told to have some punch and i did...it didn't taste alcoholic and so i drank some...
it sucks...i have to go to court in december for a d.w.i. and i didn't even know i was drinking...i remember driving all the way to about burke lake park and then remember waking up and trying to get lisa out of the car...then i called 911...911 was very unhelpful...luckily a police car arrived on the scene relatively quickly and everyone was taken to the hospital...
i don't know what is going to happen about lisa's car...i know both of our insurance companies are involved and that if hers doesn't have enough coverage mine will pick up the slack but right now it is still too soon to tell...i know i need to find a way to get her a car somehow and it might take time, especially since jimmy's car crapped out on me...it needs $1700 worth of work for it to pass a safety inspection and i don't have that kind of money to spend on a car i bought for $50...
my parents have been amazing through all of this...they are understandably upset and disappointed but more worried about helping lis and i get through all of this...i wish lis's dad would do more of the same...i know he's angry and he has every right to be but he needs to focus on helping his daughter and not berating her because that is only hurting her and making things worse for all involved...
i really do not know what i would do if lisa were gone...i love her...i can't forgive myself for what i have done...and i think i would go insane if i hurt her any worse...through all of this i am finally realizing how much that girl means to me...she is the most amazing person i have ever known in my life and if anything i ever do hurts her again i will go insane...everything about her is amazing...she's sweet, silly, funny, beautiful, smart as hell when she wants to be...very intelligent no matter what...always fun to be with...someone who i can talk with who will listen to me and understand me...she is the only person i have ever met who has taken the time to really know me and that is absolutely amazing...like her...i love her with all of my heart...i just want her to be happy and i mean really happy...please, to anyone who reads this (not that anyone does) please help her and try to make her feel better and happy...she of all the people i know deserves it most
i want to apologize to all involved...i'm so terribly sorry and i think about it everyday all the time...i'm especially sorry to lisa, whom i never want to hurt...ever...i can't forgive myself for hurting her...i didn't mean to and i did so i am sorry...
the accident was my fault...i had planned on not drinking very much...we played beer pong and that and maybe a shot or two was all i planned on drinking before driving lis home keeping in mind i planned to wait and enjoy myself before being safe to drive...unbeknownst to myself the punch at this party was spiked with everclear, which i have never drank before and never had any intention of doing so...i don't like the idea of ingesting an intoxicant that someone i don't know made in their basement...unfortunately when i asked for something to drink other than beer i was told to have some punch and i did...it didn't taste alcoholic and so i drank some...
it sucks...i have to go to court in december for a d.w.i. and i didn't even know i was drinking...i remember driving all the way to about burke lake park and then remember waking up and trying to get lisa out of the car...then i called 911...911 was very unhelpful...luckily a police car arrived on the scene relatively quickly and everyone was taken to the hospital...
i don't know what is going to happen about lisa's car...i know both of our insurance companies are involved and that if hers doesn't have enough coverage mine will pick up the slack but right now it is still too soon to tell...i know i need to find a way to get her a car somehow and it might take time, especially since jimmy's car crapped out on me...it needs $1700 worth of work for it to pass a safety inspection and i don't have that kind of money to spend on a car i bought for $50...
my parents have been amazing through all of this...they are understandably upset and disappointed but more worried about helping lis and i get through all of this...i wish lis's dad would do more of the same...i know he's angry and he has every right to be but he needs to focus on helping his daughter and not berating her because that is only hurting her and making things worse for all involved...
i really do not know what i would do if lisa were gone...i love her...i can't forgive myself for what i have done...and i think i would go insane if i hurt her any worse...through all of this i am finally realizing how much that girl means to me...she is the most amazing person i have ever known in my life and if anything i ever do hurts her again i will go insane...everything about her is amazing...she's sweet, silly, funny, beautiful, smart as hell when she wants to be...very intelligent no matter what...always fun to be with...someone who i can talk with who will listen to me and understand me...she is the only person i have ever met who has taken the time to really know me and that is absolutely amazing...like her...i love her with all of my heart...i just want her to be happy and i mean really happy...please, to anyone who reads this (not that anyone does) please help her and try to make her feel better and happy...she of all the people i know deserves it most