This new old experiment is not going entirely as I hoped for.
So, It's not even two days since my last post, and already I have two things I wanted to write about in detail, but don't feel entirely comfortable about writing here, dealing with love, sex, personal kinks, friendship, respect... and the obliquely-implied, silently-whispered ways in which they all connect to each other.
*sadmaking*
(Well, three if you count the cute barista who reminds me of a slash version of Capt. Jack Harkness.)
...and now that I am back, I start checking through people's LJ posts again, only to find that Jacob A. has stopped writing on LJ just recently, and is kind of on-the-run... though I guess it can be said that he is arguably running *to* places as much as running away from others. What I think concerns me more is not the chance of someone doing something bad to him -- though it is certainly possible -- but the costs to him, of having to live that way.
*also sadmaking*
Things I am thinking of...
- I feel blessed -- and cursed -- to know so many exceptional people, oftentimes on the bleeding edge of society. (I wonder whether they all know how special they are? I wonder if they realize that they're far more attractive than I am?!)
- When Allen Ginsburg wrote about having seen the best minds of his generation destroyed by madness, he was in his late 20s, talking about his close, personal friends.
- Sometimes, it's got to be really convenient to be "normal", and not to care too much, feel too much, love too much, want too much, and wish for impossible highly improbable things.
-- This.
*sadmaking*
(Well, three if you count the cute barista who reminds me of a slash version of Capt. Jack Harkness.)
...and now that I am back, I start checking through people's LJ posts again, only to find that Jacob A. has stopped writing on LJ just recently, and is kind of on-the-run... though I guess it can be said that he is arguably running *to* places as much as running away from others. What I think concerns me more is not the chance of someone doing something bad to him -- though it is certainly possible -- but the costs to him, of having to live that way.
*also sadmaking*
Things I am thinking of...
- I feel blessed -- and cursed -- to know so many exceptional people, oftentimes on the bleeding edge of society. (I wonder whether they all know how special they are? I wonder if they realize that they're far more attractive than I am?!)
- When Allen Ginsburg wrote about having seen the best minds of his generation destroyed by madness, he was in his late 20s, talking about his close, personal friends.
- Sometimes, it's got to be really convenient to be "normal", and not to care too much, feel too much, love too much, want too much, and wish for impossible highly improbable things.
-- This.