I like this okay, the only thing that stung out in my eye was the sudden change of point of view. That tends to bowl me over, when I'm suddenly supposed to switch perspectives and nobody even told me. It's what happens here:
He didn't need her to mention that had the accident happened just a hundred yards down the road, he would most likely be on the way to the hospital. There, the edge of the road simply didn't exist. Instead, the gravel gave way to dirt and underbrush growing nearly vertical on the sleep slopes of the drop-off. "Where are you heading?" Jeff asked, as her shaky nerves calmed. "We've got a place several miles up the road," she stated, thinking of the cozy cabin miles down the road.
There. I was like, 'What? Oh, change of perspective, I see.' Maybe you could make this a little clearer by first writing a sort of introductory sentence for Meg - perhaps checking Jeff out - so the reader gets the implied message that we've changed perspective, or a different font, maybe.
Other than that, nice work! Not my genre, but the writing is good.
Thank you for the response. I appreciate the feedback. You may not want to read my other stuff, though, as it's going to be among the same genre. After NaNo, I might try my hand at something a bit different, but this genre is where my heart lay. (Pun intended.)
He didn't need her to mention that had the accident happened just a hundred yards down the road, he would most likely be on the way to the hospital. There, the edge of the road simply didn't exist. Instead, the gravel gave way to dirt and underbrush growing nearly vertical on the sleep slopes of the drop-off.
"Where are you heading?" Jeff asked, as her shaky nerves calmed.
"We've got a place several miles up the road," she stated, thinking of the cozy cabin miles down the road.
There. I was like, 'What? Oh, change of perspective, I see.' Maybe you could make this a little clearer by first writing a sort of introductory sentence for Meg - perhaps checking Jeff out - so the reader gets the implied message that we've changed perspective, or a different font, maybe.
Other than that, nice work! Not my genre, but the writing is good.
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