I don't recognize myself

[insineration_s]

Today was quite a memoriable event in my life. Today I finished my enlistment into the U.S.ARMY. My job I chose is Airbourne Infantry. This MEP's thing was a two-day thing. If anyone asked me how those two days were I would say the most fun I've ever had in my life. I've come to the realization that I have friends, but not really a best friend anymore. What love was is gone though my heart still feels the same way it did before.  I realized that at this thing over the weekend I really fit in with these people. I really enjoyed my time just talking with someone who loved the military as much as I did. I really can't tell you who I am anymore. I feel like such a different person, but I haven't fully changed yet. I've wondered lately if the groups of people I hang out with really enjoy my company at all. It just seems like I'm there as a body space. Or I'm there for certain reasons, be it money to other things. It seems as if a piece of my life was lost earlier and I'm searching to find it. (show me a sign) Earlier today if that man would've asked me if I wanted to leave today and just quite high school I belive in my heart I would've said yes. It seems things around here are distant. As if something were missing and needs to be found again? It would be great to have that back. I think I work harder to get it back if only I knew the feelings were true. I honestly wish this game called "Life" were easier, and not so hard all the  times.

But right now, I've never felt better in my life after those two days.. I really can't wait till I leave and really see what this new lifestyle is going to be like, but I will say that those promises that were said before, I will keep them...

Maybe I'm just looking for some sense of hope you know?