Almost ready to give up
I have been actively searching for a job for a year now, not as actively as I wish I could but as actively as I am able to right now. I've had 3 jobs since I lost my job at Macy's. One of them was selling Kirby vacuum cleaners. Another was at a call center in Spokane called ICT, and the third was at Radioshack. Kirby talked themselves up a lot and made it sound like the best job in the world, after talking to other people who worked for them I realized they were full of shit and I probably wouldn't have made it a full month there. ICT would have been a really good job, boring but with good pay and a lot of hours every week. I would still be working at ICT, had my own place, and finally doing something with my life. That is not the case because I thought I was in love and at the time Kailey was more important to me and I had to take her to the crazy hospital, that was a waste of 2 years of my life. Radioshack was decent, until they fired me for "not telling them I have been to jail before". It seems like no matter how hard I try to succeed and do something with my life it all backfires in my face, every single time. I'm to the point now where I don't even want a job, I just want to go to school and be broke for 2 more years until I can get a good job. I know I'm disappointing my family with the way I am living but I am disappointing myself more than anything. When I was younger I was told I was a loser, I would never do anything with my life, blah blah blah. I always told myself I would prove everyone wrong and I would become more successful and become happier than anyone else I have ever met. All I have done is prove everyone that has ever told me that right. I'll be 22 in 5 months and I have nothing to show for it. It all started after I dropped out of school, that was a huge mistake. I dropped out in May of 2004, I tried to get into back into school that September at Davis but East Valley never transferred my transcript. I tried to go to the Christa Mcaullife Academy but by the time they got their shit together and finished my paper work I was too old for the program. I moved to Seattle and tried finding a job, I never did and I ended up right back where I started. I moved to Kennewick and got a job and an apartment and that blew up in my face, and I ended up here. Spokane would have worked, but like I said I wasted time on a relationship and fucked myself over.