better days
today dave and i spent the entire workday listening to music on pandora.com showing each other our favorite bands and what not. its cool cuz u enter one band that you wanna listen to and it sets up a custom radio station with nothing on it but that band and bands that sound similar to the band you looked up. suddenly i was listening to bands i havent heard since those wasted and high summers of my teens. GBH, Minor Threat, Youth Brigade, The casualties,DK, DRI, FEAR, it all came back to me. ive changed alot over my life, and feel like ive been 10 different people in one. it felt good though. the memories, from show to show, lots of friends, drugs and booze and good music and expression. everyone was original, not sheep but wolves. i met the best people during those times but its so fucken sad that i probably couldnt name 5 of them. i just have little flashes of my memories nowadays almost like i subconsciously blocked out my entire past. i can never remember vital parts of my past, names, faces and the like. so many relationships i made through my life and im completely alone. seems like i always made really great friends and then cycled to a new group of really good friends and over and over. the one that always was with me was mysael though, no matter what. its crazy what music can do to you i guess. its sad though i used to be so different, original, out spoken..... not the neurotic fucken mess i am now.