to my exes...all of you
there's always been someone else. as long as i could remember...someone else that's been in the back of your head. the person you think about when you wake up and see me. the one i logically have no reason to be jealous of...why?
everyone's got their flaws, but i have YET to be any of your first choices...no matter how i try, how i change, no matter what i sacrifice. i've given up so much...flipped my world upside down for a couple of you...and i'm pushed away for the ever present SOMEONE...there's always someone you'd rather be with, when will anyone be completely content with me, tell me what else there is for me to give up? how many more times do you want to kick me in the face?
if so many insist that someone would be lucky to be with me...where is this lucky someone? i wonder if i'll ever be the one on your minds when you're with her...if i'll be the one on your mind when you're lying awake next to her...maybe i'll show up in the back of your mind oneday when you're looking into her eyes...do you KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?! i want to be the one that ruins your romantic evening at home by never leaving your mind.
if those of you that DIDNT leave me for someone else are starting to feel like this isn't about you...just wait! there's plenty more...
there's one of you that i was willing to give my heart to...on a silver platter, to YOU i was willing to offer love honesty compassion enduring companionship...everything. all we had to do was TRY. god as much as i strain, however long i beat my head against the wall...i don't understand why you can't try...and not give up on me. ..why did you give up on me...?
i've bled nothing but deep intense love for you. for this? i recieve painful words and intolerance for anything and everything...i wish i knew what i did so wrong, which incorrect turn i made.