Cognitive Dissonance
My life is rated NC-17.
Interesting night to say the least. I was finally able to go out to a bar with Daniel and Tom! Yay! Happy 21st birthday Daniel. I went and "pre-loaded" at The Vine on Apache and Rural before heading out to Amsterdam. I met up with a friend of mine and some of his friends. His friends informed me of his deep feelings for me over a few drinks. Interesting because he never acts any such way towards me. Especially since him and his boyfriend just broke up. So, I've been crushin on him for a while, but he's pretty much just been mind-fuckin me like lots of other boys have done before. They keep me in a stage of dissonance that I rarely enjoy. I know I should be doing something about it, but yet, I'm stuck trying to make the most out of each situation. Then, I headed to Amsterdam to meet up with everybody.
I think the progress I've made since I moved here is amazing. I saw so many people tonight that I know and care about, and I've only been here since July. I saw Daniel, Tom, Neil, Shmeka, Robbie, Danielle, Carlos, J.J., Buddy, Mike, Steven, Jason, and a few more people. That's always been my thing. I can adapt wherever I go. And, that could be the Gemini thing, or that could just be me. I'm not really quite sure. OR it could just be because people are way more friendly here than in NJ. Ya never know! Speaking of NJ, I'll be there December 18th-21st.
I'm glad things have turned out the way they have with all aspects of my life here. The boy paid attention to me at Amsterdam, until somebody made a comment about how "hard" it seemed for him to get over his ex-boyfriend... Then, he started acting funny, so I just left him and went to hang out with Robbie, Danielle, and their friend Charl. Danielle and I made out with the same girl in the bathroom. How crazy is that? Then, it came time to leave and Charl and I decided to go eat at IHOP together. That was "good times" as he likes to say:) lol. Damn foreign boys.
Then, I get home and the boy calls me to tell me he's trashed and he is pulling into my parking lot for him to come crash here. I'm all for taking care of my friends, so now he's sleeping in my bed. Before he went to bed, however, he showed me another hickie he got tonight, and informed me that he "thinks he slept with a girl." This just made my night so much better. So, despite my feelings for him, my bed remains cold and empty... It's been a crazy day. But, I'm not letting anybody have control over my feelings until they allow themselves to take care of them... But, I'm good, so it's okay. Spending time with Charl and just talking about life and stuff was really good for me tonight. It's weird because he talks about as much as I do, which means we never shut up. I thought he was going to try and throw something at me to get me to be quiet at one point. lol.
And, another boy keeps hearing crazy rumors about me, and believes everything is says. It's rather amusing to see the things people will believe. I cause drama because I always confront people on the rumors people say about them. Because, then the rumors get cleared up and things move on. "That's just the way I am. If I wasn't, why would I say I am?"
Well, I'm going back to my bed for a few hours until it's time to write my English paper on the changes in depiction of courtship and dating over the past 70 years.