i wrote an entry about math. what?!
sometimes i wish i could branch out of the way i view the world. granted, i can, when i try to see things from a perspective i dont normally adhere to but when it comes down to it ive realized that my whole life ive looked at the world from a more or less philosophical lense. from the way i question things, read into things, analyze and compare and contrast things ive always been fairly philosophically pragmatic about life and my experiences. and that's well and good because that's who i am. but lately ive really felt this pull towards physics. quantum physics in particular. ive been reading various things over the past 6 months or so that deal with the principles of quantum mechanics in relationship to understanding consciousness but have stuck to only such sources that deal with it in laymans terms. basically, ive had to omit all talk of math and equations in my research because i dont have the "necessary" background in math. but it's more than being clumsy with carrying the 1; im bad at math because ive never understood the world mathematically. i do believe there is a distinct way in which to understand spatial and temporal relationships and experiences from a mathematically lense and ive only just recently come to that realization. in other words, i understand the point of math now even though i cant grasp it. and im really saddened by the fact that now i can understand the importance of math because i wish i had really learnt the basics in school to apply them to the reading i want to do now. i BARELY made it out of pre-calculus my senior year of highschool-- i have not even the slightest clue as to how one deals with the math associated with physics.
dylan and i were talking about probablities of reality yesterday. i can understand the implications of probabilities but i cant understand how one actually figures out these probabilities in the first place. we did a simple problem together dealing with dice and instantly i started to think far too into it. i think i complicate the issue of math more so than it actually is because ive just never truely developed the way to see things mathematically.
i really, really want to read stephen hawking's a brief history of time. i also really really want einstein's relativity. i bought a copy of each of those books-- and an extra copy of a brief history of time so dylan can read it with me. i hope im not in to far over my head with this reading-- but i just realllly want to read these things. i realize that these books for the most part can be dealt with by "laymans" but im still pretty fresh to this stuff: not only do i not know the mathematically underpinnings, i know very little of the basic terminology. i dont mind sitting with a dictionary open while i read or underlining and rereading things 4 times. i really just want to grasps these things but still...
my point is that, even though there are volumes to be grasps from the material im reading now, and even though i feel like what is said in physics' "layman's" terms can convey what math has originally said, i still feel and wish whole heartedly that i could understand the math in the first place. because even if i can grasp the layman's version, i still dont know if everything mathematically can be explained for philosophically [but then i suppose this issue is one of the weightest to be dealt with for real physicists]. it's the problem of getting lost in translation and for the first time in my whole damn life, i regret not taking better care for learning math.
who the hell would have EVER thought id grow this soft spot for my most hated subject ever?!
dylan and i were talking about probablities of reality yesterday. i can understand the implications of probabilities but i cant understand how one actually figures out these probabilities in the first place. we did a simple problem together dealing with dice and instantly i started to think far too into it. i think i complicate the issue of math more so than it actually is because ive just never truely developed the way to see things mathematically.
i really, really want to read stephen hawking's a brief history of time. i also really really want einstein's relativity. i bought a copy of each of those books-- and an extra copy of a brief history of time so dylan can read it with me. i hope im not in to far over my head with this reading-- but i just realllly want to read these things. i realize that these books for the most part can be dealt with by "laymans" but im still pretty fresh to this stuff: not only do i not know the mathematically underpinnings, i know very little of the basic terminology. i dont mind sitting with a dictionary open while i read or underlining and rereading things 4 times. i really just want to grasps these things but still...
my point is that, even though there are volumes to be grasps from the material im reading now, and even though i feel like what is said in physics' "layman's" terms can convey what math has originally said, i still feel and wish whole heartedly that i could understand the math in the first place. because even if i can grasp the layman's version, i still dont know if everything mathematically can be explained for philosophically [but then i suppose this issue is one of the weightest to be dealt with for real physicists]. it's the problem of getting lost in translation and for the first time in my whole damn life, i regret not taking better care for learning math.
who the hell would have EVER thought id grow this soft spot for my most hated subject ever?!