(no subject)
My computer never works so I'm not online often, and Veno is leaving in two days, so I hang out with him as much as possible. I start at CEI thursday for massage therapy. woot to something new. I'll do good because it's relaxing and I can work with like little buddhas and candles and low sleepy lighting. I love it already. My nasty blonde mullet is now a half decent dark brown hair style. I start working at Java Jungle again soon. I'm working on this thing I made up. It's called operation grow the fuck up and it's pretty much like a twelve step program including some alkaline trio favorites like step one: slit my throat. etc. No but seriously, I'm actually working on getting my shit together. I'm focusing on career rather than job. Me rather than boys. Overall, most imporatant thing to me is balance. i need it, and i think it can be used in every aspect of my life, and im happy to at least realize that. i dont want to be the kid who lives at home and has no job and gets drunk all the time. i dont want guys to just say im crazy. i basically just want my shit together. i guess that in itself is and has been step one.
tommorow morning i get up and get breakfast and run errands with veno. i guess he likes sushi so ill take him there for lunch. its his last full day of freedom i guess. he sleeps at a hotel wednesday night and ships out thursday. its my first day of school so i cant go say goodbye. we've hung out everyday in the past few weeks and he is the best kid ive ever met. not a crush, just respect and friendship. it blows me away. it hasnt hit me yet that hes really leaving. i cant focus on it long enough cause im paying attention to spending time with him. its funny that he inspired me to go to massage school and get my shit together, just because thats basically what hes doing, just moving forward. we both start the same day go figure. im going to miss him a lot. a whole lot. once it actually hits me that hes gone, its gonna suck. a lot. i like to think hes gonna leave and im going to dive into this whole growing up thing full force and be so focused on getting it together that i wont even miss him. ha. wait til thursday and im crying my eyes out. the girl who crys at disney movies not cry when someone like veno leaves for four years. der.
im off to bed cause im yawning and i need to be up early for veen.
tommorow morning i get up and get breakfast and run errands with veno. i guess he likes sushi so ill take him there for lunch. its his last full day of freedom i guess. he sleeps at a hotel wednesday night and ships out thursday. its my first day of school so i cant go say goodbye. we've hung out everyday in the past few weeks and he is the best kid ive ever met. not a crush, just respect and friendship. it blows me away. it hasnt hit me yet that hes really leaving. i cant focus on it long enough cause im paying attention to spending time with him. its funny that he inspired me to go to massage school and get my shit together, just because thats basically what hes doing, just moving forward. we both start the same day go figure. im going to miss him a lot. a whole lot. once it actually hits me that hes gone, its gonna suck. a lot. i like to think hes gonna leave and im going to dive into this whole growing up thing full force and be so focused on getting it together that i wont even miss him. ha. wait til thursday and im crying my eyes out. the girl who crys at disney movies not cry when someone like veno leaves for four years. der.
im off to bed cause im yawning and i need to be up early for veen.