(no subject)
Almost nothing in my life is the same as it was just 11 months ago. This includes all places and almost all people, including myself, that were involved in my life just that short time ago. Out of sight, out of mind, huh? I guess that's the way people work. It's only been a year but it feels like a thousand.
It has been such a monumental summer. Everything has changed, again, in the past couple months. It baffles me that it all even happened. This is definitely not where I expected to be going into my senior year of high school. But I know now why it was almost imperative for me to get out of Phoenix.. I just never expected to have been so distant from everything and everyone there in just a matter of months right after I left. I have begun to feel like this is permanent here, and I even like New Mexico, a lot. However I know in just one year I will be packing my things and moving out, starting a life on my own. Things are going to be different yet again. In some ways I am so prepared for change, seeing as I've been forced to deal with it so much. So, big deal, I know what it's like to start a new life. But on the other hand I am so not ready to have my life be completely turned upside down once again after I am finally settling in.
How is it that you spend your entire life in one place, leave and less than a year later find out that so much time there was wasted? When I left I planned to spend as much of the summer in Arizona as possible.. now I don't even know if I am going to go back at all. If someone would have told me that I was probably not going to visit this summer to the town I lived in for 16 years, my home and my childhood, I wouldn't have believed them. It's amazing to look back at those 16 years and realize that I never knew anything else, and I never wanted to. But Phoenix is my home, and it is my childhood, and I am not going to say my entire life there sucked and I regret every minute of it. Because I don't. I just am astonished at how much I've learned since I've been other places and moved on. When my dad told me before I started high school that we would eventually be moving before I graduated, it was just so unrealistic that I just didn't believe it. But it's real, and it happened, and it is so weird.
Man, I feel like a 60 year old gramma. Life is so weird.
It has been such a monumental summer. Everything has changed, again, in the past couple months. It baffles me that it all even happened. This is definitely not where I expected to be going into my senior year of high school. But I know now why it was almost imperative for me to get out of Phoenix.. I just never expected to have been so distant from everything and everyone there in just a matter of months right after I left. I have begun to feel like this is permanent here, and I even like New Mexico, a lot. However I know in just one year I will be packing my things and moving out, starting a life on my own. Things are going to be different yet again. In some ways I am so prepared for change, seeing as I've been forced to deal with it so much. So, big deal, I know what it's like to start a new life. But on the other hand I am so not ready to have my life be completely turned upside down once again after I am finally settling in.
How is it that you spend your entire life in one place, leave and less than a year later find out that so much time there was wasted? When I left I planned to spend as much of the summer in Arizona as possible.. now I don't even know if I am going to go back at all. If someone would have told me that I was probably not going to visit this summer to the town I lived in for 16 years, my home and my childhood, I wouldn't have believed them. It's amazing to look back at those 16 years and realize that I never knew anything else, and I never wanted to. But Phoenix is my home, and it is my childhood, and I am not going to say my entire life there sucked and I regret every minute of it. Because I don't. I just am astonished at how much I've learned since I've been other places and moved on. When my dad told me before I started high school that we would eventually be moving before I graduated, it was just so unrealistic that I just didn't believe it. But it's real, and it happened, and it is so weird.
Man, I feel like a 60 year old gramma. Life is so weird.