the courage to open my mouth?
so i am regularly amazed by how many beautiful people there are on our campus. today i was especially struck by a woman who climbed on the forty acres today. she was simply dressed, with a DC t-shirt and this serious look on her face that could either break someone or make you wonder how you might help her day not go so bad. of course, i dont talk to people that i find attractive. i couldn't think of anything to say. she didn't even once look my way anyhow. pos, ya, ni modo. she got off and walked into jester as i walked into the PCL, which i wasn't going to, but being preoccupied with her, i didn't realize that until i was well on my way to signing up for a computer.
cut to after class, 5pm. my music and imagined communities class is just letting you. i have to stay after to talk to the profe, but since there are a few kids in line in front of me, i decide that i will run to the bathroom right quick and be back before she's done with them and takes off for the day. i take off running towards the bathroom and realize that, in doing so, i am closing in on that very woman from the forty acres, who is just walking up to the elevator. the bathrooms are right next to them, i pass her to get to them. she seems in a rush. she is holding an instrument case that looks about the size of a violín. i doesn't matter what instrument was in the case, the fact that it was hers, that she was in the music building at all, struck me as powerfully as her beauty. but i was in a rush, my cosas were still in the class room and i couldnt leave them there unattended, not my jarana at least. and i really had to go to the bathroom. so as the pharcyde puts it in less of a coward way, i had to let her pass.
now the question is, if i see her again, will i speak to her? in all likelihood, no, i will not. if she has class after me and it is likely that i see her again, i'm sure there will be reason upon reason for me to pass up opportunity upon opportunity. but then again, i've had a lot more confidence lately. and when people are as small as me, which i figure her to be about my size, i am more relaxed, and it is a lot easier for me to talk to them. so we'll see.
after writing this, i realize that this whole experience was noteworthy to me precisely because of how much confidence i've had lately. it is a bit sad but that confidence has come from two people complimenting me on my body, my hair almost completely fitting in my pony tail, and having cut off my sideburns. i suppose some of it has also come from feeling more comfortable in general talking to new people and specifically good looking women. the other day i actually said a joke in my spanish class without thinking about it first and then deciding to not say it. even though it was quiet and probably no one would have gotten it, at least it came out. those are the kinds of things that give me a smile on the inside knowing that my confidence level is growing.
well, whoever you are, i hope i see you again and that, when i do, i have the courage to ask something as simple as what instrument you play.
cut to after class, 5pm. my music and imagined communities class is just letting you. i have to stay after to talk to the profe, but since there are a few kids in line in front of me, i decide that i will run to the bathroom right quick and be back before she's done with them and takes off for the day. i take off running towards the bathroom and realize that, in doing so, i am closing in on that very woman from the forty acres, who is just walking up to the elevator. the bathrooms are right next to them, i pass her to get to them. she seems in a rush. she is holding an instrument case that looks about the size of a violín. i doesn't matter what instrument was in the case, the fact that it was hers, that she was in the music building at all, struck me as powerfully as her beauty. but i was in a rush, my cosas were still in the class room and i couldnt leave them there unattended, not my jarana at least. and i really had to go to the bathroom. so as the pharcyde puts it in less of a coward way, i had to let her pass.
now the question is, if i see her again, will i speak to her? in all likelihood, no, i will not. if she has class after me and it is likely that i see her again, i'm sure there will be reason upon reason for me to pass up opportunity upon opportunity. but then again, i've had a lot more confidence lately. and when people are as small as me, which i figure her to be about my size, i am more relaxed, and it is a lot easier for me to talk to them. so we'll see.
after writing this, i realize that this whole experience was noteworthy to me precisely because of how much confidence i've had lately. it is a bit sad but that confidence has come from two people complimenting me on my body, my hair almost completely fitting in my pony tail, and having cut off my sideburns. i suppose some of it has also come from feeling more comfortable in general talking to new people and specifically good looking women. the other day i actually said a joke in my spanish class without thinking about it first and then deciding to not say it. even though it was quiet and probably no one would have gotten it, at least it came out. those are the kinds of things that give me a smile on the inside knowing that my confidence level is growing.
well, whoever you are, i hope i see you again and that, when i do, i have the courage to ask something as simple as what instrument you play.