pushing me!
Rahhhhh god damn i just feel like screaming so many things at the top of my lungs... im listening to mudvayne and im hoping it makes me happy its just adding to the aggression... gah ive been upset ALOT lateley = / everything thats ever happened to me is starting to build inside and im trying to realize so much but nothing has an answer for me = / gahh... its kinda sux when at one point you had a mother a father a brother and a sister and then within 4 years theyre fucking ripped from you tthen your beaten trompled fucking beaten again stabbed a few times shot and left to die and you know someones there but theyre at that angle you cant turn your neck cause its broken and theyre just sitting theyre LAUGHING at you, they know you need someone to help you something to grasp for some kind of reality some kind of love some kind of feeling and theyre just sitting theyre throwing pebbles at the open wounds that emcompass your body just fucking snickering as you twitch slowly dying drownign on your own blood!!!! GAHHHHH i just wanna fucking hit a release button... all ive got is my music... which is all ive got, i literally have nothing... the only thing i have is music equipment... no family no material possesions nothing really to call "my own" except 2 basses some music equipment and my band, which nothing can take from me... i need some kind of emotional release besides music... im not gonna find it thoug.. and im never gonna find anyone i can talk to about half the shit thats ever happened to be noone i can trust... if i dont trust anyone why the fuck am i posting this in a livejournal.... fuck me... whatever GAHHHH!!!!!!!!