Suck my pickle.
Ever try to sneeze while taking a piss? It's scary isnt it? It's scary cause, actually, you can't do it. It's physically impossible to sneeze while pissing. Your brain won't let it happen. Your brain says "STOP PISSING! WE'RE GOING TO SNEEZE NOW!". Cause your brain knows...you might blow your asshole out.
So far...a group of kids, maybe 8 of them, 2 old men (not together...eww..), an old lady, and 4 girls are comming back to Taco Bell because im there. Cause im so "nice" and "cool", as they say. =D This one lady was confused because it was 1am and I was so chipper at the drive through. She said it was nice. lol
And I got to sit in a dodge viper... ::drools:: My dream car...and got to rev it up... was tempted to steal it. I could floor it to mexico.. ::caughs::
And now im pissed. Not at anyone in paticular. Just pissed. Amanda's name was on today...but it was her while I was away, then her little brother, then her for a breif moment, then nothing. Just another day. Just another day.
And tomarrow is another 10 hour work day. 3 in a row. >:O WOO! Lots of money...
>:O And I leave you with this musing and somantics rant.
Flying on the airlines, and listening to the airlines announcments, and trying to pretend to ourself that the language they are using is really english. Doesnt seem like to me. Whole thing starts when you get to the gate. First announcement. "We would like to begin the boarding process". Extra word: Process. Not neccesary. Boarding is enough. We would like to begin the boarding. Simple, tells the story. People add extra words when they want things to sound more important then they really are. Boarding process...sounds important. It inst. Just a bunch of people getting on an airplane. People like to sound important. Weathermen on the television talk about "shower activity". Sounds more important then showers. I even heard one guy on CNN talk about a rain event. Swear to god! He said "Louisianna is expecting a rain event". I thought "Holy shit! I hope I can get tickets to that!". Emergency situation. News people like to say "Police have responded to an emergency situation". No they havent,l they've responded to an emergency. We -know- it's a situation. -EVERYTHING- is a situation. Anyways, it's part of this boarding process, they say "We would like to pre-board". Well, what exactly is that anyway? What does it mean to pre-board? To get on before you get on? That's another complaint of mine. Too much use of this prefix "pre". Pre-this, pre-that. "Place the turkey in a pre-heated oven". It's ridiculous. There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in: heated or unheated! Pre-heated is a meaningless fucking term. It's like pre-recorded. "This program was pre-recorded". Well of course it was pre-recorded, when else are you going to record it, fterwards? That's the whole purpose of recording is to do it beforehand. Otherwise it really doesnt work, does it!? Pre-existing, pre-planning, pre-screening...you know what I tell these people? PRE-SUCK MY GENTIAL SITUATION! And they seem to understand what im talking about. Anyway, it's apart of this pre-boarding, they say "we would like to pre-board those passengers with small children". Well what about those passengers traveling with -large- children? Suppose you have a 2 year old with a petuitary disorder? You know, a 6-foot infant with an oversized head! The kind of kid you see on the national enquirer all the time. Actually, with a kid like that, I think you are better off checking him right with your luggage at the curb, don't you? Well, they like it under there. It's dark under there, they're used to that. Around that time someone is telling you to get on the plane, "Get on the plane, get on the plane". I say "FUCK YOU! Im getting IN the plane. Let evil kanivil get on the plane. I'll be in here with you folks in uniform. There seems to be less wind in here." They might tell you you are on a non-stop flight. Well, I don't think I care for that. No, I insist that my flights stop. Preferablly at an airport. It's those sudden, unscheduled, cornfield and housing development stops...that seem to interupt the flow of my day. Then they mentioned carry on luggage. First time I heard carry on, I thought "Carry on, carry on...there's going to be a party! people are going to be carrying on, on the plane". Well I don't care for that either, I like a serious additude on the plane, espiecially on the flight deck. Which is the latest euphemism for, COCK PIT. Couldnt imagine why they would want to use a lovely word like COCK PIT, can you? Espiecially with all those stewerdesses going in and out of it all the time. There's another word that's changed, stewerdess. First it was hostess, then stewerdess, now it's flight attendent. You know what I call them? "The lady on the plane". Sometimes it's a man on the plane now, that's good, equality, im all in favor of that. Sometimes they actually refer to these people as "uniformed crew members". Uniformed. As opposed to the guy sitting next to you in the grateful dead tee-shirt and the "fuck you" hat.
And im spent.
~Angel
So far...a group of kids, maybe 8 of them, 2 old men (not together...eww..), an old lady, and 4 girls are comming back to Taco Bell because im there. Cause im so "nice" and "cool", as they say. =D This one lady was confused because it was 1am and I was so chipper at the drive through. She said it was nice. lol
And I got to sit in a dodge viper... ::drools:: My dream car...and got to rev it up... was tempted to steal it. I could floor it to mexico.. ::caughs::
And now im pissed. Not at anyone in paticular. Just pissed. Amanda's name was on today...but it was her while I was away, then her little brother, then her for a breif moment, then nothing. Just another day. Just another day.
And tomarrow is another 10 hour work day. 3 in a row. >:O WOO! Lots of money...
>:O And I leave you with this musing and somantics rant.
Flying on the airlines, and listening to the airlines announcments, and trying to pretend to ourself that the language they are using is really english. Doesnt seem like to me. Whole thing starts when you get to the gate. First announcement. "We would like to begin the boarding process". Extra word: Process. Not neccesary. Boarding is enough. We would like to begin the boarding. Simple, tells the story. People add extra words when they want things to sound more important then they really are. Boarding process...sounds important. It inst. Just a bunch of people getting on an airplane. People like to sound important. Weathermen on the television talk about "shower activity". Sounds more important then showers. I even heard one guy on CNN talk about a rain event. Swear to god! He said "Louisianna is expecting a rain event". I thought "Holy shit! I hope I can get tickets to that!". Emergency situation. News people like to say "Police have responded to an emergency situation". No they havent,l they've responded to an emergency. We -know- it's a situation. -EVERYTHING- is a situation. Anyways, it's part of this boarding process, they say "We would like to pre-board". Well, what exactly is that anyway? What does it mean to pre-board? To get on before you get on? That's another complaint of mine. Too much use of this prefix "pre". Pre-this, pre-that. "Place the turkey in a pre-heated oven". It's ridiculous. There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in: heated or unheated! Pre-heated is a meaningless fucking term. It's like pre-recorded. "This program was pre-recorded". Well of course it was pre-recorded, when else are you going to record it, fterwards? That's the whole purpose of recording is to do it beforehand. Otherwise it really doesnt work, does it!? Pre-existing, pre-planning, pre-screening...you know what I tell these people? PRE-SUCK MY GENTIAL SITUATION! And they seem to understand what im talking about. Anyway, it's apart of this pre-boarding, they say "we would like to pre-board those passengers with small children". Well what about those passengers traveling with -large- children? Suppose you have a 2 year old with a petuitary disorder? You know, a 6-foot infant with an oversized head! The kind of kid you see on the national enquirer all the time. Actually, with a kid like that, I think you are better off checking him right with your luggage at the curb, don't you? Well, they like it under there. It's dark under there, they're used to that. Around that time someone is telling you to get on the plane, "Get on the plane, get on the plane". I say "FUCK YOU! Im getting IN the plane. Let evil kanivil get on the plane. I'll be in here with you folks in uniform. There seems to be less wind in here." They might tell you you are on a non-stop flight. Well, I don't think I care for that. No, I insist that my flights stop. Preferablly at an airport. It's those sudden, unscheduled, cornfield and housing development stops...that seem to interupt the flow of my day. Then they mentioned carry on luggage. First time I heard carry on, I thought "Carry on, carry on...there's going to be a party! people are going to be carrying on, on the plane". Well I don't care for that either, I like a serious additude on the plane, espiecially on the flight deck. Which is the latest euphemism for, COCK PIT. Couldnt imagine why they would want to use a lovely word like COCK PIT, can you? Espiecially with all those stewerdesses going in and out of it all the time. There's another word that's changed, stewerdess. First it was hostess, then stewerdess, now it's flight attendent. You know what I call them? "The lady on the plane". Sometimes it's a man on the plane now, that's good, equality, im all in favor of that. Sometimes they actually refer to these people as "uniformed crew members". Uniformed. As opposed to the guy sitting next to you in the grateful dead tee-shirt and the "fuck you" hat.
And im spent.
~Angel