I suddenly want to reconsider all my life plans
I've just had the most amazing night, and one that I can see tweaking my life in just the right way to push it in an entirely new direction for the future. on a whim, an American friend of mine here in London booked four tickets to the first ever Pangea Day, having no idea what to expect. when two of her friends backed out of going she invited me instead, and I really wasn't sure I could be bothered to sit through four hours of film, but I'm so glad that I decided to go.
I saw some truly inspiring, witty, artistic, funny and heart-wrenching films. I met a wonderful group of people and had several really intelligent conversations with people - both old friends and new as of tonight - who actually care about and love this world. I realized how much I want and need to travel, and to go beyond the comfort zone of the U.S. and the U.K. there's this self-absorbtion here that's just stifling - probably, in part, because I realize that from day to day I completely partake in it.
I thought about stories. stories are what I do, after all. I've wanted since high school to be an editor, to help make great stories exist and be read. And great stories mean capital-L Literature. suddenly I feel so shallow for wanting that and for putting Literature above those stories out there which may never be written down and may never go to NYC to find publishers. storytelling is everywhere - it's something we as humans do and can't seem to stop. I've always been this privileged and sheltered girl who makes gods out of centuries-dead poets who smoked opium and reclined and thought of academia and philosophy. I need to hear the other stories. I need to stop believing that I am somehow too awkward, too uninformed or too afraid to meet, accept and be accepted by people the whole world over.
I want to grow to be someone who loves. I am someone who loves - I love the world, I really do, and I see so much beauty in things that somehow mean nothing to so many people but sometimes mean everything to me. at the best of my moments I know that what I do has to communicate that, and I guess that's about love. I lose sight of it so often, though, that it's almost rare that I'm that person to the rest of the world.
I need to go further. for longer. I need to figure out how to be that person, and find the stories that matter, and spread them, and find meaning and make it grow.
p.s. this was my favorite video, but you can watch all of them on the website, and I'd really suggest it. they're all so different and wonderful.
I saw some truly inspiring, witty, artistic, funny and heart-wrenching films. I met a wonderful group of people and had several really intelligent conversations with people - both old friends and new as of tonight - who actually care about and love this world. I realized how much I want and need to travel, and to go beyond the comfort zone of the U.S. and the U.K. there's this self-absorbtion here that's just stifling - probably, in part, because I realize that from day to day I completely partake in it.
I thought about stories. stories are what I do, after all. I've wanted since high school to be an editor, to help make great stories exist and be read. And great stories mean capital-L Literature. suddenly I feel so shallow for wanting that and for putting Literature above those stories out there which may never be written down and may never go to NYC to find publishers. storytelling is everywhere - it's something we as humans do and can't seem to stop. I've always been this privileged and sheltered girl who makes gods out of centuries-dead poets who smoked opium and reclined and thought of academia and philosophy. I need to hear the other stories. I need to stop believing that I am somehow too awkward, too uninformed or too afraid to meet, accept and be accepted by people the whole world over.
I want to grow to be someone who loves. I am someone who loves - I love the world, I really do, and I see so much beauty in things that somehow mean nothing to so many people but sometimes mean everything to me. at the best of my moments I know that what I do has to communicate that, and I guess that's about love. I lose sight of it so often, though, that it's almost rare that I'm that person to the rest of the world.
I need to go further. for longer. I need to figure out how to be that person, and find the stories that matter, and spread them, and find meaning and make it grow.
p.s. this was my favorite video, but you can watch all of them on the website, and I'd really suggest it. they're all so different and wonderful.