YEAHEAYULT
wow..i realized many things last night..one. im stupid..two. my obsession with drinking more than anyone somehow started even the very first time i drank, it was with ken, and he didnt finish his glass, i finished it for him, and most of you know how that ended up..three. someone must not want me dead, because i have gotten far too lucky far too many times to not be dead or in jail by now, too many chances, i realized that the other night when i drove home after 20 shots, i should have died that night, that is way too much liquor to consume for one person, and im not playing the bragging game, im actually mad at myself, i found out that my grandparents woke up at 4 a.m. and i got home at 5:30 a.m., turns out in that time span, they prayed for me for a half hour straight, someone doesnt want me dead or in jail..thats for sure, i should have gotten in a car accident that night, somethings protecting me, but i fear that this will not persist much longer, time for a change, definite wake up call if i ever needed one..four. i realized thanks to diana's moms journals that i am starting out my life almost the exact same way she did, and i've always liked to think i wouldnt do other drugs, but i cant even say i never would at this point, dianas mom startedother drugs at my age, i dont want that to happen to me..five. I MUST BE THE LUCKIEST DUDE EVER BORN............ok so last night was fun but yet again..cops..jason diana and chase came to my house for a change and we chilled outside with some jim beam then i guess some lady in a van called the cops saying we were gang bangers, cops came, poured my glass of alcohol out and sent my friends home, how do i keep getting so lucky, i realized that this is at least the 8th time ive had my i.d. taken from the cops and had nothing happen to me, gah, i dont get it, oh well, im thankful, thats for sure, dianas created a small set of rules for me to live by..we'll see how that goes, my problem is i dont know moderation, if im going to do something once a week, i dont see the problem with doing it everyday, i mean..i do..but its the way i percieve things now in my addict state, this is definitely something i need to break, thank you diana, i love you, and i love chase, and i love paul, and i love matt, and ashlie is funny to mess with :) thanks friends, hopefully you will start to see me start achieving things..school is going great and for that im very happy