(no subject)

[insanesarah]

u know...
sumtimez u alwayz juss feel so sad all the time
and u juss wish u could juss push everyone away
so u dont hafta worry about neone worrying about you
er making other ppl feel bad er anythin
er appearing wierd...er unstable
and juss not b involved in anythin
so therez no risk, juss nothing to worry about
nothing that'd make u hurt
but then u realize u cant do that
cuz thatz the only thing that makez u feel normal
the only thing that makes u happy...sorta
er that keeps u goin er w/e
and having other ppl helpz u sorta
but then wen they're gone...nd ur alone again
nd u dont know if the temporary happy stuff
wuz worth later finding out it wuz fake later
and then it feelz like it sux more
but then u did experience happyness fer a lil bit
so iz that better then nothing?
if it is why do u again feel like u wish could push
everyone away again?
er iz that too, juss stoopid and temporary?
if it iz, y do i still try to rely on otherz?
and will i eva not have too?
er am i juss too weak fer that?
i dont even know
i juss...ugh
juss yea...that wuz a buncha crap
but idk thanx fer readin it...er sumthin