Ganked from guardians_song
Describe your OTP and make it sound as awful as possible.
Mother/Earthbound
- It's a boy and a girl and they... have psychic powers. Big whoop. And they dance in a cabin. (Ninten/Ana)
- Asthmatic boy finds a cowardly nerd in a garbage can. (Ninten/Loid)
- Gigantic muscle dude with stupid hair makes fun of a nerdy boy way younger than him and calls him a weakling. (Teddy/Loid)
- Pippi Longstocking-ripoff sits in an embarrassed nerd's house. Nothing else. (Pippi/Loid)
- It's a boy and a girl and they... have psychic powers. Again. This time, he saves her from wet paint. (Ness/Paula)
- A nerd with a lame bowl-cut fails at social interactions and his best friend is a clingy worrywart who keeps calling him constantly. (Jeff/Tony)
- His name is Poo. Do I need to say anything else? Oh yeah, he's a prince, but he's submissive to a white* kid. (Ness/Poo)
- His name is still Poo, and while she's on the same party as him, they never share any dialogue. (Poo/Paula)
*For all we know, Ness could be Asian. Or half/third/quarter Asian.
Yume Nikki
- Submissive alien dude with googly eyes gets stabbed to death by a girl who may or may not be way younger than him. Yeah, that's healthy. (Madotsuki/Masada)
- Sadistic bitch and a blonde chick who turns into a big white blob with a smiley face. (Madotsuki/Poniko)
Pokemon
- So-called hero dumps his Pokemon into the future for his own safety. (Sir Aaron/Lucario)
- Two fanboys caught up in their favorite Legendaries who occasionally remember their friendship. (Morty/Eusine)
- Two Suicune chasers, and only one of them makes it to the remakes. (Eusine/Kris)
- Fanboy cheers a shy young girl for accomplishing his dream first. (Eusine/Lyra)
- Mad scientist magician with bad hair self-destructs while assistant wishes for the good times to come back. Healthy. (Butler/Diane)
- Gigantic muscle dude and fancy-pants gambler with seagulls for hair are in the Elite 4. Of course they never talk to each other. (Marshal/Grimsley)
- Wild boy with no social skills stalks a brother and a sister to give them speeches about destiny. (N/Hilbert/Hilda)
- Female protag meets waitress NPC who only shows up at autumn anyway. (Hilda/Aurora)
- Protags who hook up with celebrities who lose their phones. (Rosa/Curtis, Nate/Yancy)
- Protag, hyper dude, and an assistant who you've probably forgotten about already. (Dawn/Barry/Lucas)
- Bored guy short-circuits his hometown while afro-dude tries encouraging him with fire puns. (Volkner/Flint)
- Bug man who is likely to bother a serious bznz dude with his reading. (Aaron/Lucian)
- Pink time-traveler has a secret crush on a lizard. (Grovyle/Celebi)
- Ghost with one eye and a mouth on his stomach demonizes a thief. (Dusknoir/Grovyle)
My Little Pony
- A vain rich priss and a gross country hick get on each other's nerves. (Applejack/Rarity)
- She's hyper and pink and no matter how much an egotistical jock tells her so, she never ever goes away. (Pinkie Pie/Rainbow Dash)
- She's too timid and she's easily overwhelmed by a tomboy jerkass. (Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy)
- They go to the hot springs and angst about fame. (Rarity/Fluttershy)
- A fraudulent magician keeps intimidating her reclusive rival. (Twilight Sparkle/Trixie)
Puella Magi Madoka Magica
- Ice Queen stalks a mousy girl that she knew for a month. (Homura/Madoka)
- Two warriors have a bitch fight before realizing they actually had something in common. (Kyouko/Sayaka)
- Student dumps teacher after her ideals got shat upon. (Mami/Kyouko)
- Five girls do nothing but suffer until one of them changes the rules. (Madoka/Homura/Mami/Kyouko/Sayaka)
- "She's eating her! Now she's gonna eat me! OH MY GAAAAAAAAAWD." (Charlotte/Mami)
Super Mario
- Crybaby tadpole-who-isn't-a-tadpole and a doll who claims he's from outer space. (Geno/Mallow)
- A flamboyant prince sparkles like Edward Cullen and jabs a plumber's butt with a rapier. (Peasley/Luigi)
- A valley girl, like, totally envies the looks of like, an androgynous ghost who's got totally no confidence! (Goombella/Vivian)
- Plumber saves princess in every game ever. Yawn. (Mario/Peach)
- Big spiked turtle gets butthurt that he can't beat his rival. (Bowser/Mario)
- Two Koopas who exchange a greeting at the end of the game. (Kooper/Parakarry)
- That spark is way too young, and they'll explode when they kiss anyway. (Bombette/Watt)
Kirby
- A fairy and a glutton throw shiny rocks at an eyeball. (Kirby/Ribbon)
- Veteran goes crazy while he ignores a lowly sailor's existence. (Meta Knight/Waddle Dee)
- Abusive dictator makes the same lowly sailor his slave. (Dedede/Waddle Dee)
- Snail doctor lives under the terror of a physically abusive and spoiled brat of a dictator. (Dedede/Dr. Eskargon)
- Veteran falls in love with a one-shot character with no name who went crazy. (Meta Knight/Jecra)
- Snobby know-it-all gets a crush on an imposter. (Rona/Fumu)
Sonic the Hedgehog
- Mascot With Attitude and Broodyface duke it out in the span of two or three days. (Sonic/Shadow)
- Mascot With Attitude is a narcissist with a mechanical fetish. (Sonic/Metal Sonic)
- Mascot With Attitude meets a purple cat who isn't Big. (Sonic/Blaze)
- A secret agent and a time traveler become friends in a game that nobody's played. (Espio/Silver)
- Thief runs away with a gigantic rock owned by a red Na'vi. (Knuckles/Rouge)
- Reptiles with opposite personalities work under the same roof. (Vector/Espio)
- Pissed off robot and android-who-is-not-an-android take over the world. (Omega/Shadow)
- Robot discovers the meaning of friendship through a girl before blowing himself up. (Gamma/Amy)
- Time traveler with ridiculous quills loses partner to a Canon Retcon/Discontinuity. (Silver/Blaze)
- "EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS!" only furrier. (Sonic/Sally)
- Freedom fighter with totally radical slang meets some goat who steals a golden ring and is never heard from again. (Sonic/Griff)
Super Smash Bros.
- Bland nameless trainer and a little boy who cries a lot. (Red/Lucas)
- A boy turns into metal after saving a doormat. (Ness/Lucas)
- Three pretty-boi swordsmen get laid. No biggie. (Meta Knight/Marth/Ike)
Homestuck
- Disabled alien tries to bully a boy with sunglasses and it backfires. Hard. (Dave/Tavros)
- A cranky leader watches bad movies with a boy who tells him he's not a homosexual. (John/Karkat)
- Blind chick scribbles over expies of a kid who she thinks smells delicious. (Dave/Terezi)
- A juggalo wants to make out with a fairy. (Gamzee/Tavros)
- A coolkid and a crab draw penises. (Dave/Karkat)
- A homicidal maniac connects with a boy through pictures of people kissing and hugging. (Dirk/Caliborn)
- An alcoholic teen promises to rescue her biggest fan. (Roxy/Calliope)
- A vampire is caught by surprise by her drunken lover. (Rose/Kanaya)
- A future empress listens to boring stories she has already heard a million times for boondollars. (Meenah/Aranea)
- A dead heiress promises plushies and tentacles in a girl's dreams. (Jade/Feferi)
This post has been crossposted with Dreamwidth at http://shamanicshaymin.dreamwidth.org/59768.html. Pick your poison. Mwoiiiiiiiing~!
Mother/Earthbound
- It's a boy and a girl and they... have psychic powers. Big whoop. And they dance in a cabin. (Ninten/Ana)
- Asthmatic boy finds a cowardly nerd in a garbage can. (Ninten/Loid)
- Gigantic muscle dude with stupid hair makes fun of a nerdy boy way younger than him and calls him a weakling. (Teddy/Loid)
- Pippi Longstocking-ripoff sits in an embarrassed nerd's house. Nothing else. (Pippi/Loid)
- It's a boy and a girl and they... have psychic powers. Again. This time, he saves her from wet paint. (Ness/Paula)
- A nerd with a lame bowl-cut fails at social interactions and his best friend is a clingy worrywart who keeps calling him constantly. (Jeff/Tony)
- His name is Poo. Do I need to say anything else? Oh yeah, he's a prince, but he's submissive to a white* kid. (Ness/Poo)
- His name is still Poo, and while she's on the same party as him, they never share any dialogue. (Poo/Paula)
*For all we know, Ness could be Asian. Or half/third/quarter Asian.
Yume Nikki
- Submissive alien dude with googly eyes gets stabbed to death by a girl who may or may not be way younger than him. Yeah, that's healthy. (Madotsuki/Masada)
- Sadistic bitch and a blonde chick who turns into a big white blob with a smiley face. (Madotsuki/Poniko)
Pokemon
- So-called hero dumps his Pokemon into the future for his own safety. (Sir Aaron/Lucario)
- Two fanboys caught up in their favorite Legendaries who occasionally remember their friendship. (Morty/Eusine)
- Two Suicune chasers, and only one of them makes it to the remakes. (Eusine/Kris)
- Fanboy cheers a shy young girl for accomplishing his dream first. (Eusine/Lyra)
- Mad scientist magician with bad hair self-destructs while assistant wishes for the good times to come back. Healthy. (Butler/Diane)
- Gigantic muscle dude and fancy-pants gambler with seagulls for hair are in the Elite 4. Of course they never talk to each other. (Marshal/Grimsley)
- Wild boy with no social skills stalks a brother and a sister to give them speeches about destiny. (N/Hilbert/Hilda)
- Female protag meets waitress NPC who only shows up at autumn anyway. (Hilda/Aurora)
- Protags who hook up with celebrities who lose their phones. (Rosa/Curtis, Nate/Yancy)
- Protag, hyper dude, and an assistant who you've probably forgotten about already. (Dawn/Barry/Lucas)
- Bored guy short-circuits his hometown while afro-dude tries encouraging him with fire puns. (Volkner/Flint)
- Bug man who is likely to bother a serious bznz dude with his reading. (Aaron/Lucian)
- Pink time-traveler has a secret crush on a lizard. (Grovyle/Celebi)
- Ghost with one eye and a mouth on his stomach demonizes a thief. (Dusknoir/Grovyle)
My Little Pony
- A vain rich priss and a gross country hick get on each other's nerves. (Applejack/Rarity)
- She's hyper and pink and no matter how much an egotistical jock tells her so, she never ever goes away. (Pinkie Pie/Rainbow Dash)
- She's too timid and she's easily overwhelmed by a tomboy jerkass. (Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy)
- They go to the hot springs and angst about fame. (Rarity/Fluttershy)
- A fraudulent magician keeps intimidating her reclusive rival. (Twilight Sparkle/Trixie)
Puella Magi Madoka Magica
- Ice Queen stalks a mousy girl that she knew for a month. (Homura/Madoka)
- Two warriors have a bitch fight before realizing they actually had something in common. (Kyouko/Sayaka)
- Student dumps teacher after her ideals got shat upon. (Mami/Kyouko)
- Five girls do nothing but suffer until one of them changes the rules. (Madoka/Homura/Mami/Kyouko/Sayaka)
- "She's eating her! Now she's gonna eat me! OH MY GAAAAAAAAAWD." (Charlotte/Mami)
Super Mario
- Crybaby tadpole-who-isn't-a-tadpole and a doll who claims he's from outer space. (Geno/Mallow)
- A flamboyant prince sparkles like Edward Cullen and jabs a plumber's butt with a rapier. (Peasley/Luigi)
- A valley girl, like, totally envies the looks of like, an androgynous ghost who's got totally no confidence! (Goombella/Vivian)
- Plumber saves princess in every game ever. Yawn. (Mario/Peach)
- Big spiked turtle gets butthurt that he can't beat his rival. (Bowser/Mario)
- Two Koopas who exchange a greeting at the end of the game. (Kooper/Parakarry)
- That spark is way too young, and they'll explode when they kiss anyway. (Bombette/Watt)
Kirby
- A fairy and a glutton throw shiny rocks at an eyeball. (Kirby/Ribbon)
- Veteran goes crazy while he ignores a lowly sailor's existence. (Meta Knight/Waddle Dee)
- Abusive dictator makes the same lowly sailor his slave. (Dedede/Waddle Dee)
- Snail doctor lives under the terror of a physically abusive and spoiled brat of a dictator. (Dedede/Dr. Eskargon)
- Veteran falls in love with a one-shot character with no name who went crazy. (Meta Knight/Jecra)
- Snobby know-it-all gets a crush on an imposter. (Rona/Fumu)
Sonic the Hedgehog
- Mascot With Attitude and Broodyface duke it out in the span of two or three days. (Sonic/Shadow)
- Mascot With Attitude is a narcissist with a mechanical fetish. (Sonic/Metal Sonic)
- Mascot With Attitude meets a purple cat who isn't Big. (Sonic/Blaze)
- A secret agent and a time traveler become friends in a game that nobody's played. (Espio/Silver)
- Thief runs away with a gigantic rock owned by a red Na'vi. (Knuckles/Rouge)
- Reptiles with opposite personalities work under the same roof. (Vector/Espio)
- Pissed off robot and android-who-is-not-an-android take over the world. (Omega/Shadow)
- Robot discovers the meaning of friendship through a girl before blowing himself up. (Gamma/Amy)
- Time traveler with ridiculous quills loses partner to a Canon Retcon/Discontinuity. (Silver/Blaze)
- "EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS!" only furrier. (Sonic/Sally)
- Freedom fighter with totally radical slang meets some goat who steals a golden ring and is never heard from again. (Sonic/Griff)
Super Smash Bros.
- Bland nameless trainer and a little boy who cries a lot. (Red/Lucas)
- A boy turns into metal after saving a doormat. (Ness/Lucas)
- Three pretty-boi swordsmen get laid. No biggie. (Meta Knight/Marth/Ike)
Homestuck
- Disabled alien tries to bully a boy with sunglasses and it backfires. Hard. (Dave/Tavros)
- A cranky leader watches bad movies with a boy who tells him he's not a homosexual. (John/Karkat)
- Blind chick scribbles over expies of a kid who she thinks smells delicious. (Dave/Terezi)
- A juggalo wants to make out with a fairy. (Gamzee/Tavros)
- A coolkid and a crab draw penises. (Dave/Karkat)
- A homicidal maniac connects with a boy through pictures of people kissing and hugging. (Dirk/Caliborn)
- An alcoholic teen promises to rescue her biggest fan. (Roxy/Calliope)
- A vampire is caught by surprise by her drunken lover. (Rose/Kanaya)
- A future empress listens to boring stories she has already heard a million times for boondollars. (Meenah/Aranea)
- A dead heiress promises plushies and tentacles in a girl's dreams. (Jade/Feferi)
This post has been crossposted with Dreamwidth at http://shamanicshaymin.dreamwidth.org/59768.html. Pick your poison. Mwoiiiiiiiing~!