50 Shades Spitefic
I've been following Gehayi and Ket's review of 50 Shades of Grey over at das_sporking and they got to Chapter 12, which was the part where the book officially disturbed me. (Not that it wasn't before, but this? Yeeeeeeeah) So I got around and wrote spitefic! While it doesn't feature Ana or Christian being maimed to death, it does have plenty of h/c.
In short, my novel characters read the book, become horrified, then cheer each other up.
So if you wanted to know who Raggedy Andy, Marius, Jelly Jane and the gang are like (*crickets chirp*), here's your chance! This takes place post-novel, but there's no spoilers to worry about. (No, Ann's death is not a spoiler. It's complicated) Bonejangles is a placeholder name for a Day of the Dead skeleton I haven't fully developed yet.
TW: Discussion of rape and past abuse. The excerpts from 50 Shades are all real. :( There's also mentions of toysex, though no sexytimes happen except in the stuff Jelly Jane reads. :P
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Jelly Jane had browsed through the museum library and found a dusty copy of a book that had been forgotten for years. "Must be one of those cheesy romance novels!" she laughed. She explained to the others that when she had lived at the store and later at her collector's house, she and the other toys had the hobby of finding mediocre books and making fun of them. After all, it was all they had to read, so why not make the most of it? Her favorites were the romance novels, because they were the easiest to discuss and make jokes about... especially the ones with the sex scenes. Toys typically didn't have "moist caverns" or "throbbing members," and sometimes descriptions were interpreted literally ("secret garden"), leading to confusion and laughter. Human sex was strange and complicated, the toys had decided. Albeit, Jelly Jane learned things about her friends--plastic and cloth and rubber alike--that she didn't know they could do (and kind of wish she didn't)
"Fifty Shades of Grey..." Jelly Jane read. "Believe me, I've seen enough shades of gray in my lifetime from Dr. Medlock's lab."
Raggedy Andy and Marius chuckled, and Luna and Bonejangles smiled; it was far too true. They were relieved that they didn't have to deal with the mad doctor anymore, and the museum was much more peaceful because of it. No doubt they were still saddened from the loss of their friends, including Raggedy Ann, but overall they could manage. Their lives were happy again, and to top it off, the museum was closed before the holiday season, allowing them more time to visit each other and do activities they couldn't possibly finish in one night... such as Jelly Jane reading cheesy books out loud to her friends.
"'I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I'm very attached to this.'" She read in a deep macho voice. It wasn't long before she got to "Christian Grey flavor popsicle" that snorts and snickers emerged from her audience. Luna and Andy were blushing deeply.
"Seriously. 'Popsicle?'" Jane commented, grinning. While the sex in the book itself was as dry as a desert (taking place in a bath, no less!) she considered it worth looking back into for more "gems." The next time that 50 Shades had been pulled out, she skipped to something particularly juicy... Christian Grey's BDSM contract for Anastasia Steele.
"So..." Luna wondered, shuffling one of her front feet. "He wants to make Ana his slave?"
"Guess so." Jane shrugged. "It's not everyday I get across a book like this. Stuff with bondage and whipping and stuff, I mean." The green jelly-like toy frowned. "It wasn't quite like that in the other books though. This chick doesn't sound like she wants this sort of thing at all."
"I don't think I'd like being tied up or beaten." Luna said sadly. Jelly Jane nodded in understanding.
"I know what you mean." she replied gently. "Sounds like Ana wants to do it anyway 'cause Christian's hot and has money. What a silly book."
"So, Marius..." Bonejangles raised an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. "I happen to remember that you possess handcuffs. Do you use them for anything other than magic?"
"Actually..." Caught off-guard, Marius wasn't quite sure how to answer the skeleton, especially in front of Luna and the others. Even with a book with subject matter like this, he wasn't keen on revealing everything in his personal life. To his relief, the awkwardness was dispelled when Raggedy Andy changed the subject.
"Can we get back to the story?" the ragdoll asked. When the toys had settled down again, the marionette lay beside his partner, squeezing his hand in gratitude.
~
As Jelly Jane read on (rather than skip whole chapters as she tended to do), Fifty Shades of Grey slowly unveiled itself to be anything but silly. Ana wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, everyone agreed. But something about Christian Grey rubbed them the wrong way, and by the time Jane reached Chapter 12, it was too late. After Ana had emailed Christian that she was calling off the relationship, the billionaire had broken into her apartment with no message in advance. From the moment she read the words, "'Well, I thought I should come and remind you how nice it was knowing me,'" Jelly Jane began to lose the cartoony character voices she had made up, and her discomfort grew evident as if she had uncovered the secret diary of a serial killer.
"How nice is this?" he says as he strokes himself.
"I meant it as a joke," I whimper. Please fuck me, Christian.
He raises his eyebrows as his hand moves up and down his impressive length.
"A joke?" His voice is menacingly soft.
"Yes. Please, Christian," I beseech him.
"Are you laughing now?"
"No," I mewl.
"Pardon me. I need to be excused." The marionette had listened in absolute silence, his eyes as wide as if he had unburied a corpse. His words were short and toneless, but Marius steadied himself and his hands from shaking as he walked out of eye-shot.
Raggedy Andy was tempted to run after him. It pained the ragdoll to see Marius like this, but he was reminded of what Bonejangles had advised him: "It's important that he'd be allowed to make his own choices. If he wants privacy, let him have it. It's crucial for him to be able to have his own space, where he can re-coordinate himself and sort out his thoughts and feelings. Once he's done that, then he'll be ready for your talk and comfort." Instead he moved closer to Luna, holding her trunk when he saw her shivering.
"Are you all right, Luna?" he asked.
"I-I'm fine. Really." She held him tighter, and Andy petted her trunk with his free hand.
"I open the door for him and stare down at my hands. This is the first time I have ever had sex in my home, and as sex goes, I think it was pretty damn fine. But now I feel like a receptacle - an empty vessel to be filled at his whim. My subconscious shakes her head. You wanted to run to the Heathman for sex - you had it express-delivered. She crosses her arms and taps her foot with a what-are-you-complaining-about-look on her face. Christian stops in the doorway and clasps my chin, forcing my eyes to--Luna, what's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Luna had let go of Andy's arm, wiping her eyes with her trunk. But her whimpering did not go unnoticed, and Jelly Jane dropped the book as she and the others went to console their friend. The purple elephant had been crying to herself, as she was wont to do in fear of disturbing anyone. Andy and Jane embraced her while Bonejangles offered his sympathy, and she allowed herself to sniffle more openly.
"Th-Thats's how they used to bully me in L-L-Looney Land." She stuttered through her tears. "They'd... they'd tie me up and... and blindfold me... and the ice! I wasn't raped, but--!"
"I'm so sorry, Luna!" Jane cried. "If I had read ahead in that stupid book, I would've never read that part to anyone! I had no idea how bad it would be..."
"I-It's okay. You didn't know..."
"Still, I could've prevented it. I'll be careful from now on." Jane offered a small smile. "Look on the bright side. We kicked their asses, right? They'll never bother you again."
"Indeed. A lesson they'd never forget." Bonejangles grinned. "Perhaps it would be best if we took 50 Shades of Grey back to its shelf, hm? I should hope I wouldn't have to hear another 'ay Dios mío!' the way it was used here."
"No kidding. I don't want to see this shitty book ever again." Jane frowned. "Keep me from tearing it into itty bitty pieces and throwing it in the lake, okay Luna?"
The purple elephant giggled, her tears slowing to a stop.
"You have us now," Raggedy Andy said. "And there will be nothing but good times from now on."
"You're right." Luna smiled. "Thanks everyone."
"How about music to restore our spirits?" Bonejangles suggested. The toy xylophone lay waiting for them, and the skeleton began to peck its rainbow keys. As the melody improved everybody's mood, Raggedy Andy reminded himself of Marius, and he politely let the others know where he was going. After promising he'll be back soon, the ragdoll followed the direction to where the magician had disappeared.
~
Marius had retreated to the window where the garden could be seen, high above the cobblestone map among splashes of green. The lake reflected the sunshine and pretty pink orchids bobbed among their neighbors. The marionette drank in the sight, and pressed his hands against the glass. It was cool and smooth to the touch, and the dew misting the window indicated an earlier rain. He tensed when he heard footsteps, relaxed only when he realized it was Andy.
"Marius? Are you okay?"
Marius breathed in the crisp air emanating from the window, and the scent of autumn leaves filled his head. It would probably be the last he'd see of the orchids in a while, before the frost settled tomorrow to claim them. They were lucky this year... those particular orchids tended not to stick around too long. Raggedy Andy climbed aboard the windowsill, flopping beside him.
"Is it over?" Marius asked softly.
"Yeah. Jelly Jane couldn't get any further into the book. She got disgusted with it after it made Luna cry."
"I see. No big loss, I presume."
"She's feeling pretty bad for what happened... she said from now on, she was gonna read ahead and skim for disturbing stuff before reading to us again. She'll put it back in a bit. She's just waiting for us to come back first. No rush, though."
Marius turned from the window to look at Andy. "It's beautiful outside."
"Yeah..."
"That book..." Marius said, after a pause. "It brought back bad memories. It felt like it was happening to me all over again. He kept asking me if it was nice."
"Obviously, it's not." Andy replied gently.
"It's not that it's uncommon in romance novels, or even in the whole lot of them where the victim falls in love with their rapist. Those are ridiculous, that's true. But ridiculous enough to shake off. But this one..." The marionette lowered his head. "It got to me. It shouldn't be any different, right? Just another fantasy from someone who doesn't know any better."
"Maybe the book's a fantasy, but there are many real-for-sure people who are like... that guy in the book. I wouldn't blame you for being scared."
"It's like I'm spat at by the writer for not finding this romantic." Marius noted with bitterness.
"Thank god Jane stopped reading it. Even if none of us had--Well, I still don't think I could hear any more. There are horrible people in that book. I don't want to hear from them again."
"Indeed." Marius agreed. "There was something else that was bothering me, but... nevermind."
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon. Tell me."
Marius hesitated, taking a breath before answering.
"You like it when I handcuff and blindfold you, right?"
"Yeah?" Andy blinked.
"You weren't just saying that to make me feel better, were you?"
"Of course not! How many times have I made it clear that I wanted this? If I didn't want to be tied up and bound, I'd let you know! You'd never do anything I didn't want to do! And I wouldn't force you into anything you wouldn't like either!"
"Sorry, I'm just... I don't want you to think something's wrong with me. I don't want to be like him. I don't want to force my interests on you."
"Look. Whatever this guy likes--tying people up, whipping, caning--has nothing to do with him as a person. That'd be like describing someone's personality from what job they do or what hobbies they like. Do people see you only as a magician when they talk about you? As long as the other person is okay with what the other likes, why should it matter? I trust you Marius, and I like what we do together when we're alone." Raggedy Andy grinned. "Let's not stop, okay?"
"...Yes." Marius nodded and smiled back, and reached out to squeeze the ragdoll's hand. Together, they followed the jingles of the xylophone playing in the distance.
"I'm glad you're feeling better." Andy said.
"I'm afraid after our friends leave us, there's still some loose ends to tie up tonight..." A mischievous smirk curled from the marionette's lips. "Are you willing?"
After a pause, the ragdoll laughed, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a half-embrace.
This post has been crossposted with Dreamwidth at http://shamanicshaymin.dreamwidth.org/34219.html. Pick your poison. Mwoiiiiiiiing~!
In short, my novel characters read the book, become horrified, then cheer each other up.
So if you wanted to know who Raggedy Andy, Marius, Jelly Jane and the gang are like (*crickets chirp*), here's your chance! This takes place post-novel, but there's no spoilers to worry about. (No, Ann's death is not a spoiler. It's complicated) Bonejangles is a placeholder name for a Day of the Dead skeleton I haven't fully developed yet.
TW: Discussion of rape and past abuse. The excerpts from 50 Shades are all real. :( There's also mentions of toysex, though no sexytimes happen except in the stuff Jelly Jane reads. :P
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Jelly Jane had browsed through the museum library and found a dusty copy of a book that had been forgotten for years. "Must be one of those cheesy romance novels!" she laughed. She explained to the others that when she had lived at the store and later at her collector's house, she and the other toys had the hobby of finding mediocre books and making fun of them. After all, it was all they had to read, so why not make the most of it? Her favorites were the romance novels, because they were the easiest to discuss and make jokes about... especially the ones with the sex scenes. Toys typically didn't have "moist caverns" or "throbbing members," and sometimes descriptions were interpreted literally ("secret garden"), leading to confusion and laughter. Human sex was strange and complicated, the toys had decided. Albeit, Jelly Jane learned things about her friends--plastic and cloth and rubber alike--that she didn't know they could do (and kind of wish she didn't)
"Fifty Shades of Grey..." Jelly Jane read. "Believe me, I've seen enough shades of gray in my lifetime from Dr. Medlock's lab."
Raggedy Andy and Marius chuckled, and Luna and Bonejangles smiled; it was far too true. They were relieved that they didn't have to deal with the mad doctor anymore, and the museum was much more peaceful because of it. No doubt they were still saddened from the loss of their friends, including Raggedy Ann, but overall they could manage. Their lives were happy again, and to top it off, the museum was closed before the holiday season, allowing them more time to visit each other and do activities they couldn't possibly finish in one night... such as Jelly Jane reading cheesy books out loud to her friends.
"'I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I'm very attached to this.'" She read in a deep macho voice. It wasn't long before she got to "Christian Grey flavor popsicle" that snorts and snickers emerged from her audience. Luna and Andy were blushing deeply.
"Seriously. 'Popsicle?'" Jane commented, grinning. While the sex in the book itself was as dry as a desert (taking place in a bath, no less!) she considered it worth looking back into for more "gems." The next time that 50 Shades had been pulled out, she skipped to something particularly juicy... Christian Grey's BDSM contract for Anastasia Steele.
"So..." Luna wondered, shuffling one of her front feet. "He wants to make Ana his slave?"
"Guess so." Jane shrugged. "It's not everyday I get across a book like this. Stuff with bondage and whipping and stuff, I mean." The green jelly-like toy frowned. "It wasn't quite like that in the other books though. This chick doesn't sound like she wants this sort of thing at all."
"I don't think I'd like being tied up or beaten." Luna said sadly. Jelly Jane nodded in understanding.
"I know what you mean." she replied gently. "Sounds like Ana wants to do it anyway 'cause Christian's hot and has money. What a silly book."
"So, Marius..." Bonejangles raised an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. "I happen to remember that you possess handcuffs. Do you use them for anything other than magic?"
"Actually..." Caught off-guard, Marius wasn't quite sure how to answer the skeleton, especially in front of Luna and the others. Even with a book with subject matter like this, he wasn't keen on revealing everything in his personal life. To his relief, the awkwardness was dispelled when Raggedy Andy changed the subject.
"Can we get back to the story?" the ragdoll asked. When the toys had settled down again, the marionette lay beside his partner, squeezing his hand in gratitude.
~
As Jelly Jane read on (rather than skip whole chapters as she tended to do), Fifty Shades of Grey slowly unveiled itself to be anything but silly. Ana wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, everyone agreed. But something about Christian Grey rubbed them the wrong way, and by the time Jane reached Chapter 12, it was too late. After Ana had emailed Christian that she was calling off the relationship, the billionaire had broken into her apartment with no message in advance. From the moment she read the words, "'Well, I thought I should come and remind you how nice it was knowing me,'" Jelly Jane began to lose the cartoony character voices she had made up, and her discomfort grew evident as if she had uncovered the secret diary of a serial killer.
"How nice is this?" he says as he strokes himself.
"I meant it as a joke," I whimper. Please fuck me, Christian.
He raises his eyebrows as his hand moves up and down his impressive length.
"A joke?" His voice is menacingly soft.
"Yes. Please, Christian," I beseech him.
"Are you laughing now?"
"No," I mewl.
"Pardon me. I need to be excused." The marionette had listened in absolute silence, his eyes as wide as if he had unburied a corpse. His words were short and toneless, but Marius steadied himself and his hands from shaking as he walked out of eye-shot.
Raggedy Andy was tempted to run after him. It pained the ragdoll to see Marius like this, but he was reminded of what Bonejangles had advised him: "It's important that he'd be allowed to make his own choices. If he wants privacy, let him have it. It's crucial for him to be able to have his own space, where he can re-coordinate himself and sort out his thoughts and feelings. Once he's done that, then he'll be ready for your talk and comfort." Instead he moved closer to Luna, holding her trunk when he saw her shivering.
"Are you all right, Luna?" he asked.
"I-I'm fine. Really." She held him tighter, and Andy petted her trunk with his free hand.
"I open the door for him and stare down at my hands. This is the first time I have ever had sex in my home, and as sex goes, I think it was pretty damn fine. But now I feel like a receptacle - an empty vessel to be filled at his whim. My subconscious shakes her head. You wanted to run to the Heathman for sex - you had it express-delivered. She crosses her arms and taps her foot with a what-are-you-complaining-about-look on her face. Christian stops in the doorway and clasps my chin, forcing my eyes to--Luna, what's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Luna had let go of Andy's arm, wiping her eyes with her trunk. But her whimpering did not go unnoticed, and Jelly Jane dropped the book as she and the others went to console their friend. The purple elephant had been crying to herself, as she was wont to do in fear of disturbing anyone. Andy and Jane embraced her while Bonejangles offered his sympathy, and she allowed herself to sniffle more openly.
"Th-Thats's how they used to bully me in L-L-Looney Land." She stuttered through her tears. "They'd... they'd tie me up and... and blindfold me... and the ice! I wasn't raped, but--!"
"I'm so sorry, Luna!" Jane cried. "If I had read ahead in that stupid book, I would've never read that part to anyone! I had no idea how bad it would be..."
"I-It's okay. You didn't know..."
"Still, I could've prevented it. I'll be careful from now on." Jane offered a small smile. "Look on the bright side. We kicked their asses, right? They'll never bother you again."
"Indeed. A lesson they'd never forget." Bonejangles grinned. "Perhaps it would be best if we took 50 Shades of Grey back to its shelf, hm? I should hope I wouldn't have to hear another 'ay Dios mío!' the way it was used here."
"No kidding. I don't want to see this shitty book ever again." Jane frowned. "Keep me from tearing it into itty bitty pieces and throwing it in the lake, okay Luna?"
The purple elephant giggled, her tears slowing to a stop.
"You have us now," Raggedy Andy said. "And there will be nothing but good times from now on."
"You're right." Luna smiled. "Thanks everyone."
"How about music to restore our spirits?" Bonejangles suggested. The toy xylophone lay waiting for them, and the skeleton began to peck its rainbow keys. As the melody improved everybody's mood, Raggedy Andy reminded himself of Marius, and he politely let the others know where he was going. After promising he'll be back soon, the ragdoll followed the direction to where the magician had disappeared.
~
Marius had retreated to the window where the garden could be seen, high above the cobblestone map among splashes of green. The lake reflected the sunshine and pretty pink orchids bobbed among their neighbors. The marionette drank in the sight, and pressed his hands against the glass. It was cool and smooth to the touch, and the dew misting the window indicated an earlier rain. He tensed when he heard footsteps, relaxed only when he realized it was Andy.
"Marius? Are you okay?"
Marius breathed in the crisp air emanating from the window, and the scent of autumn leaves filled his head. It would probably be the last he'd see of the orchids in a while, before the frost settled tomorrow to claim them. They were lucky this year... those particular orchids tended not to stick around too long. Raggedy Andy climbed aboard the windowsill, flopping beside him.
"Is it over?" Marius asked softly.
"Yeah. Jelly Jane couldn't get any further into the book. She got disgusted with it after it made Luna cry."
"I see. No big loss, I presume."
"She's feeling pretty bad for what happened... she said from now on, she was gonna read ahead and skim for disturbing stuff before reading to us again. She'll put it back in a bit. She's just waiting for us to come back first. No rush, though."
Marius turned from the window to look at Andy. "It's beautiful outside."
"Yeah..."
"That book..." Marius said, after a pause. "It brought back bad memories. It felt like it was happening to me all over again. He kept asking me if it was nice."
"Obviously, it's not." Andy replied gently.
"It's not that it's uncommon in romance novels, or even in the whole lot of them where the victim falls in love with their rapist. Those are ridiculous, that's true. But ridiculous enough to shake off. But this one..." The marionette lowered his head. "It got to me. It shouldn't be any different, right? Just another fantasy from someone who doesn't know any better."
"Maybe the book's a fantasy, but there are many real-for-sure people who are like... that guy in the book. I wouldn't blame you for being scared."
"It's like I'm spat at by the writer for not finding this romantic." Marius noted with bitterness.
"Thank god Jane stopped reading it. Even if none of us had--Well, I still don't think I could hear any more. There are horrible people in that book. I don't want to hear from them again."
"Indeed." Marius agreed. "There was something else that was bothering me, but... nevermind."
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon. Tell me."
Marius hesitated, taking a breath before answering.
"You like it when I handcuff and blindfold you, right?"
"Yeah?" Andy blinked.
"You weren't just saying that to make me feel better, were you?"
"Of course not! How many times have I made it clear that I wanted this? If I didn't want to be tied up and bound, I'd let you know! You'd never do anything I didn't want to do! And I wouldn't force you into anything you wouldn't like either!"
"Sorry, I'm just... I don't want you to think something's wrong with me. I don't want to be like him. I don't want to force my interests on you."
"Look. Whatever this guy likes--tying people up, whipping, caning--has nothing to do with him as a person. That'd be like describing someone's personality from what job they do or what hobbies they like. Do people see you only as a magician when they talk about you? As long as the other person is okay with what the other likes, why should it matter? I trust you Marius, and I like what we do together when we're alone." Raggedy Andy grinned. "Let's not stop, okay?"
"...Yes." Marius nodded and smiled back, and reached out to squeeze the ragdoll's hand. Together, they followed the jingles of the xylophone playing in the distance.
"I'm glad you're feeling better." Andy said.
"I'm afraid after our friends leave us, there's still some loose ends to tie up tonight..." A mischievous smirk curled from the marionette's lips. "Are you willing?"
After a pause, the ragdoll laughed, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a half-embrace.
This post has been crossposted with Dreamwidth at http://shamanicshaymin.dreamwidth.org/34219.html. Pick your poison. Mwoiiiiiiiing~!