Oct 02, 2008 18:31
I'm stressed, barely have time to breathe (figuratively and literally; I have a fucking stuffy nose now), my troll is being persistent and flinging lame 4chan jokes at me, and goddamn it, I just want to spend the time to write or play games or read. I really hate this.
I'd do the Pokemon ficlets requests, but I want to refresh myself by reading the manga again, only to realize I've left them at home. I have too many movies to catch up on, too little time to watch them. I'm exhausted. Too muddled to think. I was broke until Dad sent money today.
What makes me bitter is I see new games like Sonic Chronicles come out and I have neither the time or the funds to buy and play it. The longer the game is held back from release, the better for me. Whenever someone plays a new game I want and chattering excitedly about it and doing fun fandom things with it, I want to punch a wall. Because I want to join them too. But I can't. By the time I finally catch up with a game, no one's playing or talking about it anymore, or has the interest to fangirl with me.
In short, I'm tired, frustrated, and pissed off. I just want to keep reading Lolita, I just want to write something that makes me muddled and crash and write fanfiction instead of grueling dry essays and reports, I'm just tired of being tired. I keep being shoved between two damn walls and a hard place.
I wish I had something live to cuddle, like a pet rat. Except my dorm doesn't allow rats, I believe. Fuck it. No companion to keep me sane OR a source of fluffy comfort. Gods I'm so lonely.
I know, I'm complaining. But it's hard to be cheery when you're breathing through your mouth AND keeping an eye on the clock so you're not late for something.
wangst,
irl,
college