today was an emotional day....

[insanejenny]

ehhh as i figured, my first day of school wouldnt be too good....

i've been thinking about things and it just seems like that one friend i thought was gonna be there for me through everything is drifting away. she doesnt hate me, theres nothing wrong with her, i still like her as a friend...but it just seems like by the end of this year we arent gonna be friends. you guys may know her as christie...

she seems so perfect....ehhh.....and i seem soooo.....bleh.

i dont know why anyone would even consider being friends with me.....but i guess im just way too insecure.....i wish i would stop hating myself...*oh the drama....well you know what, im not trying to cause any and if this bothers you, dont read it*

i cried today...

i wish i wouldnt cry...

but i know someday im gonna loose you guys...my friends......nothing seems ok right now......it feels like everything is falling apart.....mentally......

it seems like i hide everything im feeling at school...and then i go home and cry....i hate that.....i shouldnt be moping around thinking about all the negative things....but all the positive ones seem so dumb....

i live in a fantasy world with dreams that will never come true........

oh well there you go....theres my vent for the day......